Hi folks, from London UK

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Hi, folks,

I am struggling a bit with the poem I will be posting on the blog tomorrow, suspect that I may well be suffering from a lack of self-confidence in both poetry and survival skills due to a hotchpotch of feelings imposed during the pandemic, especially lockdowns. Many people appear to be experiencing much the same indescribable, but almost tangible mixture of feelings, good and bad, leaving them not quite knowing what to do to best alleviate them. 

Well, I may have difficulty walking these days, but, now and then when I cave in to feelings with which I can’t quite get to grips and play safe by staying indoors all day, even distracting myself with writing a poem, doing a spot of housework or keeping my thought processes in finer fettle by completing a word puzzle or two… I can expect even more broken sleep that my prostate cancer imposes anyway.  So… I force myself to go out for a while, if only to do some shopping, promising myself that I will not let rising prices get me down. 😉

Sometimes, I like to find a quiet spot in a local park and let Apollo have his wicked way with me yet again,, such as perhaps he did when the poet John Donne wrote “God’s in His heaven, all’s right with the world…” as if the world was ever so, not least for a variety of common human failings.😉

Such moments of contentment, a whimsical sun on my face, are rare for yours truly these days as I do battle with old age and health issues; even though these are likely to be far fewer than those with which many people have to contend on a daily basis, there is always a temptation to give self-pity a free rein, just as the sun is seeking cover behind a cloud…

Today, though, positive thinking has the stage to itself as I, along with many others, remember Harry Billinge, D-day and World War 11 veteran and campaigner, a shining example to us all, who has died at the age of 94 and was buried today in Cornwall. I never met Harry, but if ever there was someone to reassure us of the power of mind-body-spirit to see heart-and-soul safely home, it was he, among tens of thousands of others around the world not only surviving extraordinary odds, and helping to make the world a better, kinder place…but also putting self-pity and cynicism firmly in its place.

All may not be right with the world, but it remains more right than wrong just so long as there are the likes of Harry Billinge in it. 😄

Reader J.J. has emailed to ask how I deal with muddled thought processes as hers are “…very much inclined that way since the pandemic…” Fear not, J.J. there are many of us in much the same situation, for whatever reason. Only earlier today, for example, I spent a l-o-n-g time looking for my wristwatch, only to discover it further up my arm where I had pushed it earlier while washing my hands after lunch…! That’s not uncommon, either, that’s life. wry bardic chuckle

Time now to complete a poem for tomorrow; another variation on old themes, it’s true, but, as regular readers will know, I am often prompted by my late mother’s much-loved voice in my head reminding me that if something is worth saying, it is usually worth repeating…😉

Take care, everyone, stay safe and… be positive, if only because being negative never got anyone anywhere worth visiting…😉 Oh, and remember... be happy, be sad, and tears where tears are due, but neither forget the healing power of laughter, ever.

Many thanks, as always, for dropping by, much appreciated,

Hugs,

Roger

 

Comfort and Joy, OR A Pandemic called Loneliness

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

"If you're lonely when you're alone, you're bad company." - Jean-Paul Sartre

They say you can be lonely even in a crowd. For me, that was never so true as during my closet years. Sadly even in this 21st Century of ours, here are still many LGBT folks who feel unable to leave that same, lonely closet for on reason or another. I respect those reason, of course, but urge anyone who feels they are caged-in, as I did for many years, to find the strength of will to escape it and trust that family, friends and peers will accept that we LGBT folk are only as human as they themselves.

Now, several people have expressed concern that I will be on my own over Christmas, but I welcome the solitude and an opportunity to engage with both a positive-thinking mindset and you, too, dear readers, especially any of you who might also on your own; a mixed blessing at the best of times, even more so  as Covid-19 and its variants continue to rage all around us. 7

As I have said many times on the blog, love comes in many shapes and sizes. I defy anyone to say they have never loved, and/ or  been loved; it may feel like it sometimes, but we only have to look within ourselves to realise we may well be suffering from blurred vision, invariably due to hard times...

I have only  just written this poem, off the cuff, to help reassure all of you, me too, that the world may well be a mad one, but it has a kind heart and a mind-body-spirit more than capable of overcoming any pain and fear if we but engage with and give it its head... Not always easy, true, but what in life is ever easy...?

Perhaps, after all, there is a lot to be said - in many if not most circumstances - for the old adage, 'No Pain, no Gain.'

COMFORT AND JOY or A PANDEMIC CALLED LONELINESS

Alone at Christmas, yet not so,
surrounded by cards from family and friends,
marking where love begins
and any wallowing in self-pity ends
just for knowing they are there
and thinking of me, each part of a memory
that’s fresh and evergreen,
written and signed with such love on the heart,
as to comfort global mind-body-spirit 

Alone at Christmas, yet not so,
fond thoughts traversing past-present-future
with thanks and hope
for things yet to come, feed inspiration,
even a salvation of sorts
in the eyes of whatever God and Earth Mother
engages with the souls
of all creatures great and small if only for trying
to give and make the best out of living 

Alone at Christmas, yet not so,
a sense of peace and joy flowing through bones
that have taken knocks enough
over years of struggling to get by in a world
that would pass us by
if we let it, but for such enduring spirits as Love
and Kindness, invariably there
for us at times of need, not always on time (if ever)
but, true to say, “Better late than never...) 

Loneliness is a pandemic for which no vaccination,
yet, to love and have been loved its sure salvation 

Copyright R. N. Taber 2021

[Note: this post-poem also appears on my gay-interest poetry blog today.] RT

 

 

 

 

  

The Line Manager

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I never expected growing old(er)t to be easy, but events conspired to make it even worse, although I (usually) manage to keep looking on the bright side of life and get the better of my demons; among the latter, I count prostate cancer and arthritis. As well as certain prescription drugs, I have discovered several herbal remedies that also help a lot, but always ask my GP or cancer consultant before trying any. Whether or not they really help or it is a case of mind over matter...well, who cares if they help improve quality of life??

An old acquaintance commented only recently on how well I looked; this was after my getting precious little sleep and subsequently feeling awful, but it was nice to hear, not least because he had avoided asking me how I am, and saved me having to either lie or bore the pants off him. No one loves a whinger. Confiding with close friends and family is different; you can share a laugh at the same time. An acquaintance is a different beast altogether; for a start, they can rarely tell when you’re joking or being seriously funny in the true spirit of wry, bottom line humour.

Illness can make a person very moody, and I am no exception. On a bad day, I seek out the company of an old and close friend who will waste no time putting me down for being a miserable old git, to which I will eventually come up with a lively denial which might even pass for humorous riposte, and … Hey presto, mood is on the mend already! Oh, how I miss that as COVID-19 continues to make itself felt around the world and social interaction remains strictly limited.

No excuses, though, as there is always the telephone and other devices we can turn to for for much the same result. Not the same, I know, but any positive communication with others is better than none, and we all need to stay positive during these difficult times.

Now and then, people ask how I’m coping with the prostate cancer. Hormone therapy and a positive attitude, I invariably reply with wry grin. Oh, but doesn’t the hormone therapy make you pee a lot, and keep you up half the night? True, I agree, but I can live with that so long as I can go back to sleep quickly. Oh, but doesn’t the pain of your arthritis keep you awake? Yes, I have to agree, but much less so since I discovered when to take  the right dose of painkillers at the right time, along with an antidepressant capsule, I add, with a cheeky wink,  which goes a long way towards keeping me sane, especially at the moment when I seem to be losing a steady stream of what marbles I can still count in my 75th year....

Unable to lament the state of my mind-body-spirit to the extent they had hoped, and wallow in their own sympathy, people will usually  either change the subject (thank goodness!) or move on with a weak smile that speaks volumes … 😉

“There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right.” - ― Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches

This poem is (yes, another) kenning.

THE LINE MANAGER 

Ignore me, and you will feel regret,

abuse me, and you’ll discover vengeance

is mine (and that’s no idle threat);

treat me well and discover a friend indeed

when mind-body-spirit in pieces,

even a native optimism fast losing heart,

positive thinking in free fall,

and the will to live, but for family and friends

inspiring life forces

I come in all shapes and forms,

demand you consider certain options well,

and never hold back in asking

for help in identifying whatever life forces

need nurturing before feeding

on ego and alter ego until precious little left

for human nature to regenerate,

although never too late to bring self-preservation

into play, and win the day

Such are the ways of human nature

that what helps the goose may kill the gander

despite over-the-fence advice;

knowledge is wisdom, so seek it out, tackle

that hardest of all learning curves,

be sure to bring mind-body-spirit to heel, 
fewer distractions from purpose;

rise above all that’s dragging you down, not least

by addressing me by name

Call me Instinct, line manager for all life’s crises;
together, we may yet get the better of its nemeses

 Copyright R. N. Taber 2020

Priorities (Getting them Right)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Now, there is a saying that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Well, I disagree.

It isn’t only retired people who can feel lonely, of course; it can (and often does) happen to anyone who, for whatever reason, feels out of the social loop and has no idea what to do about it. Doing nothing, though, is not an option unless we are resigned to letting life pass us by. For retired people, daytime TV isn’t a satisfactory option either.

Focusing on the job in hand, many of us underestimate the importance of the everyday contact with other people that any work ethos offers. Suddenly, we arrive at the retirement we have looked forward to all our working lives; for single people, especially, that everyday contact may well no longer be there. Gone are the people that have been so much a part of our lives for so long; gone, too, a major focal point…the job itself.

I got chatting to a widower recently who hated retirement until he joined a local community group campaigning for better facilities for young people in his area. A former business executive  he  was able to bring his organization skills (among others) to the campaign and made lots of new friends, young and old. I asked him why he got involved in the first place. “I suddenly realised I was on my own, going nowhere fast and I’d be stuck with Jeremy Kyle if I wasn’t careful,” he told me with a grin. “I was out of the loop good and proper, and nothing was going to change unless I made it happen. I heard about the campaign, and have never looked back. If not the campaign, I’d have found something, you can be sure of that. I mean, you can’t survive on your own, can you…?”

How do I cope with retirement? Well, I took early retirement at 50 so I could spend more time writing. An isolationist occupation, you might think, but feedback suggests my blog readers enjoy many of my poems, and I have always found writing very therapeutic. Even so, I made a point of getting out and meeting people for many years if less so now as I have prostate cancer and a mobility problem following a nasty fall in 2014. Yet, I made some good friends and remain in touch with some, especially my best friend Graham, these plus my blog readers help me feel in a loop I’d rather be in than out so no worries there.

Many older people are unable to get out and about; for them – especially single people and those whose families are not on hand – loneliness can be a terrible thing. I recently heard of someone who takes retirement (and loneliness) in his stride by visiting lonely people and spending time with them. “It’s two-way traffic,” he told me when we met recently, “We support each other.”

Supporting each other… What better way to stay in the loop, eh?

I recall once complaining about being bored to my English teacher Mr ‘Jock’ Rankin who had asked how I was settling in at my new home across the river. ‘Life won’t come to you, Taber,” he said, “You have to go out and meet it head-on or you’ll not only be bored, you’ll be lonely too” Wise words in my ear, some 60+ years on …

PRIORITIES (GETTING THEM RIGHT)

Loneliness crept up on me,
had its feet  well under my table
before I knew it

No one calling on the phone,
no one ever knocking at my door
to ask how I am

No more cheery cards, letters,
remains of  kinder times dropping
on the doormat

No one stopping for a chat
while window shopping, desperate
to pass the time

Took a tumble in the street,
complete strangers rushing to help
piece me together

Faith in humanity restored,
I joined a local community project,
got myself a life

Self-pity, it had played dirty,
given Once-Upon-A-Time priority
over Here-and-Now

Copyright R. N. Taber 2017

Here-and-Now, Do-or-Die

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Now, we often complain that time waits for no one, but better (surely?) than it should stand still, especially when life dumps us between a rock and a hard place? 

Time is no cure-all for the worst wounds life inflicts, but it can make them if not less hurtful, at least more bearable.

Time, after all, effects change and change is what life (and humanity) is all about; whether that change is for better or worse, is not down to Time but to each and every one of us…in our own lives and in the wider world. 

After a bad nervous breakdown in 1979, I felt trapped in a No-Man's Land from which, for a long time, I envisaged no escape, all but gave up on having any future to speak of; employers are understandably wary of any prospective candidates for interview whose CV so much as hints at a history of mental illness. 

I was very fortunate to find an organization willing and able to help me, and started a new job four years later. In the meantime, the support of friends and a penchant for creative writing helped me rise above the worst, and get real again. I started a new job in 1983 and stayed there (in spite of reducing my hours so I would have more time to write) until I retired in 2008.

While recovering from my nervous breakdown, I discovered how not to judge my future by its past. All any of us can do, I suspect, is take the best of our Here-and-Now and do our damndest to shape and reshape it into something we can not only live with but, better still, take personal satisfaction in the making of... So I gave it a go, and not only survive to tell the tale but, better still, continue to enjoy customising my Here-and-Now as best I can.

HERE-AND-NOW, DO OR DIE 

Let's not judge a future by its past

or Time's remit to fly,

scream "Foul!" for our trailing last

Whoever swaps slow lane for fast

risks passing life by;

let's not judge a future by its past

Beware should old Memory’s blast

hurt and make us cry,

scream "Foul!" for our trailing last

Better feed on the present than fast,

forever asking, "Why?"

Let's not judge a future by its past

Let's not fly our colours at half mast,

(or each day, we die)

scream "Foul!" for our trailing last

Grab whatever feel-good lifeline cast

(if not always at first try);

let's not judge a future by its past,

scream ‘Foul!’ for our trailing last

Copyright R. N. Taber 2008, 2019

[Note: This poem has been significantly revised since it first  appeared on the blog in 2008.]