A Place in the Sun

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” –  James  Baldwin

“Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.”  – Harriet Lerner   

“Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove.” – William Shakespeare                                                               

Now, in the early 1980’s, I got chatting to a young man slumped on a park bench who, with more than a little encouragement, told me he’d finally got around to telling his Catholic family he was gay; it hadn’t gone down well and he’d been thrown out. 
“I sort of died, you know…I mean to say…I honestly thought they would still love me,” he sobbed
“So where are you living now?” I asked
“With a friend,” he said, “But it’s not working out…”
“So, why not go home?” I suggested, “Your family may feel differently now.”
“As if...! He glared at me as if it was all my fault
.I shrugged and hoped it did not betray a stab of apprehension. “At least you can’t die twice,” I said with a wry grin.
“Maybe,” was all he said before he jumped up and ran off.
Years later, a guy ran across the road, dodging traffic and shouting “Oi, you with the cap on…!
I stopped, not a little panicky. “Are you talking to me?”
“Yeah,” he paused, “You haven’t a clue who I am, have you?” I shook my head.
“Regent’s Park, a good ten years ago…” I remembered.  “You were right.”
“And you risked life and limb to tell me that?” I chuckled, a little nervously, but reassured by his wide grin.
“That, and to ask if you fancy a beer, my treat?”

I most certainly did., part of me hoping we would stay in touch afterwards, the greater part of me certain we wouldn’t. I was, after all, part of a freefalling emotional landscape he had risen above and moved on. His family had reconciled themselves to his sexuality, not least because they clearly loved him. 

We found a pub, enjoyed a few beers, even hugged when we said our goodbyes.

I've never saw or heard from him again, but wish him well, along with all LGBT+ men and women and such families, too, from all walks of life, following whatever religion, who are yet able to agree to differ, if only for the sake of those they love. 

A PLACE IN THE SUN

There is place where the sun
always shines, sometimes watery
sometimes splendidly,
no matter the season or time of day, 
and I go there whenever a need 
to sift through such mixed feelings
as dragging me down,
find reasons to rediscover Apollo’s splendour,
re-engage with Earth Mother

Wandering dark rooms, scared
and feeling so alone, tears refusing
to fall for no other reason
than no reason at all, a robot having lost 
its data due to a malfunction,
humanity all but given up on one 
of its own, yet a heart
beating there as if to remind me I’m but human,
not a mindless machine

Human spirit, anxious to reunite
with mind and body, separation a burden
grown intolerable, life forces
driven to desperate measures, mining memories 
buried under layers of pain,
eventually bringing bare bones of hope
to the surface, looking to recharge
restore, rework a natural process of regeneration
default, ‘live’ imagination

Found, sunshine come to help mend
mind-body-spirit, insisting heart-and-soul
slowly but surely start building
a new life, within much the same frame as the old,
encouraged by Earth Mother
to let such positives back in as refuse to let us 
surrender to self-pity and despair,
but embraces the world for its kinder consciousness,
default, love-and-peace

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022