A Poet's Blog: Roger N.Taber shares his thoughts & poems...

Thoughts and observations by English poet Roger N. Taber, a retired librarian and poet-novelist.- "Ethnicity, Religion, Gender, Sexuality ... these are but parts of a whole. It is the whole that counts." RNT [NB While I have no wish to create a social network, I will always reply to critical emails about my poetry. Contact: rogertab@aol.com].

Name:
Location: London, United Kingdom

Sadly, a bad fall in 2012 has left me with a mobility problem, and being diagnosed with prostate cancer the same year hasn't helped, but I get out and about with my trusty walking stick as much as I can, take each day as it comes and try to keep looking on the bright(er) side of life. Many of my poems reflect the need to nurture a positive-thinking mindset whatever life throws at us.

Thursday 17 February 2022

Hello again from London UK

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I posted the greater part of today's entry on my gay-interest poetry blog yesterday. A reader who is apparently a Catholic and estranged from his gay son wants to re-engage with him so has asked that I publish it here today as well..

Sorry, folks, no poem yet, but I am working on one.. I'm having to deal with a lot of health issues (not Covid-related) and once you hit mid 70's, there's less chance of coming out on top. 😉

A “new” reader, ‘E S’ asks why my Wikipedia entry describes me as a ‘gay poet’ as “...you appear to write mostly general poetry...”.

Excuse me for being a little confused here. Why should I not write general poetry because I am gay? Poetry is an Open House, anyone and everyone welcome who may be interested.

Regular readers will know that, from time to time, I post the same poem on both blogs. I would have preferred not to have two separate poetry blogs, but it seemed the more sensible thing to do at the time. Many gay readers are not ‘out’ to family and friends while using shared computers.

Yes, I have a gay poetry blog which would only be of interest to LGBT readers, although some diehard heterosexual family members seem to find it interesting, especially those who may be having difficulty coming to terms with a loved-one’s sexuality.  I started the gay poetry blog as much for them as for any LGBT person feeling trapped in the proverbial closet and made to feel ashamed of their sexuality... as I was, myself, from my early teenage years in the 1950’s until my early 30’s. Thankfully, attitudes have changed for the better since then, but there are still far too many people inclined to rush to judgement on another person’s sex life; the latter, of course, applies especially to those whose religion is interpreted as suggesting same sex relationships are a form of blasphemy. 

Given that there are LGBT folks around the world, from all walks of life (and religion) it isn't hard to imagine how hard it must be for some of us even in this s0-called 'progressive' 21st century of ours.

I have to say I don’t much like being referred to as a ‘gay poet’ and would prefer just to be known as a poet who also happens to be gay. While I am not ashamed of being gay, nor do I make a point of introducing myself as such. As and when appropriate, I will drop it into the conversation and my companion/s can make of it what they will. These days, most people express polite surprise followed by genuine interest; not always polite, though, needless to say...😉

While I am always happy to chat about what being gay has meant to me, personally, I would not presume to speak for anyone else, although my gay-specific poems are as much based on observing and talking to others about their experience of being gay as my own.

E. S. also asks if I have any regrets about being gay. Not now, no, although I cannot deny there were times in my younger years when I wished I was a ‘normal’ hotblooded heterosexual, if only to be free of the burden that being ‘closet’ imposed on me. Essentially, I was a coward, afraid to speak up for fear of... whatever. There was a lot of “queer-bashing” going on in those days and my schooldays were difficult enough without being subjected to any of that, either verbally or physically.

It took a nervous breakdown and subsequently re-reading several gay-interest novels and poems by famous authors I had discovered on library shelves and while exploring various bookshops, to give me the courage to tell the world I am gay and let them make of me what they will. Mind-body-spirit had been urging me to do just that for years, of course, but I had turned a deaf ear.

It wasn’t just cowardice on my part. There were tensions enough in my family, invariably and not always unjustifiably blamed on me. I was reluctant to add fuel to the flames if only for my mother’s sake; she would have taken it in her stride, but I doubt if that could have been said for my father and brother, not in those days anyway. Besides, it wasn’t the ‘done thing’ for boys and men to discuss their feelings then; sadly, it still isn’t for many. 😉

Finally, E. S. and others who have enjoyed past poems in the blog, I will be 77 years old this year and have been doing battle with prostate cancer, subsequent broken sleep and other health issues for some years now. Not least, the fact that I am sexually inactive these days doesn’t help to inspire gay or LGBT specific poems Even so, I will try and pull something out of the proverbial hat before too long. Meanwhile, please do explore the blog archives as I am sure you will find some poems there to enjoy.

Finally, many thanks to reader J. K. who has emailed to say that “I am a gay man and have enjoyed your gay blog in the past (my sister, too, who is also gay.) We have recently started dipping into your other poetry blog more now and enjoying many of the poems there...”

Take care folks, keep well, stay safe and let’s all do our best to nurture a positive thinking mindset, whatever life throws at us. 😉

Love ‘n’ Hugs,

Roger x

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