Echoes of a Season Past

ROGER TABER - POETRY READING
21 March 2017 – Part 2

From Roger’s friend, Graham

Greetings from autumnal Essex, UK,

I’m sharing the second part of Roger’s poetry reading. Again, I’ve embellished the recording with imagery (including the occasional cheeky pun). I’m grateful to the photographers who’ve shared their work (public domain license) on the Pixabay, Pexels and Unsplash websites. Wikimedia has also proven really helpful.

Here’s the link: https://youtu.be/hs3aTILOdtU. Or find it by searching ‘roger taber poetry’ in YouTube if you prefer.

I was reflecting on my previous comments about performance poetry being more expressive than printed form. How it reveals the intensity, passion and human frailty of the poet. And yet, conversely, a soundtrack could be interpreted as the author’s impressing of a particular perspective on his work. I wonder if poetry, art or music is really more about multiple viewpoints…? And written verse, perhaps, remains more accessible to those differing interpretations. Either way, I still think the recording adds an interesting facet to Roger’s published work.

The selection contains some personal favourites – ‘Suggestions’ and ‘The Poet’s Song’ among them. I read the latter at Roger’s funeral as part of a eulogy. Although it’s not sombre - rather a celebration of the artform. After all, ‘look on the bright side’ was his mantra. Even on his poetic postcards from the abyss.

Inevitably, the project has left me with a sense of retrospection. Roger died back in March last year although, for me at least, his presence lingers. His connection to the world endures somehow in a continuum of past-present-future. Like a pebble cast into water, his life-force resonates through a sea of time…

Memory’s warming embers ever glimmer in the shadow of grief.

Thanks for reading/listening.

G x

 

*  *  *

 

‘I am hopelessly in love with a memory. An echo from another time, another place.’
Michel Foucault

‘No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away.’
Terry Pratchett

‘As long as there are memories, yesterday remains. As long as there is hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as there is friendship, today is beautiful.’
Billy Joel

 

*  *  *

 

ROGER TABER - POETRY READING
Tuesday, 21 March 2017

PART 2

The Master Baiter
W-A-R, Crucible Of Remembrance
Spring Magic
Logging On To Life
Imagination, Painter Of Dreams or Masochist
National Trust Outing
Suggestions
Shades Of Comic Genius
Engaging With Nature or Living With Prostate Cancer
Patchwork
Ode To Apollo or Profile Of A Life-force
Heartbeat or Waking Up To The Power of Positive Thinking
Poems By Passing Clouds
The Poet’s Song
In Good Company

(CC) R. N. Taber 2017

Hi, folks, from London UK

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

"Peace cannot be achieved through violence; it can only be attained through understanding". Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It is far better to endure patiently a smart which nobody feels but yourself than to commit a hasty action whose evil consequences will extend to all connected with you.” - ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

“And sure enough, even waiting will end...if you can just wait long enough.” ― William Faulkner

"Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come." - Robert H. Schuller

Hi, folks,

Yet again, I am working on a new poem; the spirit is as willing as ever, but it is a grim looking morning outside and inspiration is not yet quite ready to compensate for it. 😉

A bad night with the prostate cancer hasn't helped; even though it was not diagnosed as aggressive back in 2012, I was not prepared for years of broken sleep. Even so, I continue to feel encouraged and inspired by so many people across the world having to endure far worse circumstances then yours truly, not least the homeless and dying.

Many years ago, at school, I studied Shakespeare's King Lear for A-level GCE Exam; I was only studying two subjects, the other one was French, and I needed to pass both to go to Library Schools - for which I had been conditionally accepted. I failed the French exam, not once, but twice because my oral was not up to scratch. I was devastated and and left school in 1964 with no clear idea of what the future had in store for me. In those days, relatively few people understood homosexuality and were even less tolerant of LGBT+ folks than many still are.

It was King Lear that came to my rescue. Of all the wonderful quotes to be found in Shakespearean texts, perhaps the least likely, but one that has seen me through some tough times all my life, has been from Act 2 where Lear, raging against the cruelties of daughters, Goneril and Regan, cries:

"You heavens, give me that patience, patience, I need...!"

Now, I am a Sagittarian and it would take me another 12 years to get a university degree  and eventually qualify as a graduate chartered librarian, during which time, I needed to draw on far more patience than comes naturally to anyone born under a fire sign...

Generally speaking, attitudes towards LGBT+ folks then left much to be desired and, for a variety of reasons, I stayed in a dark, lonely closet for more years than I care to remember. Slowly but surely, attitudes are changing as more people begin to appreciate that sexual identity is not a matter of choice. 

As I have said on previous posts, one of the greater tragedies of modern life is that many world societies and religions have no understanding of the LGBT+ mindset; in my case, it was this that led to a nervous breakdown in the late 1970'swhich would ,in turn, lead to lead to my coming 'out' and starting the gay poetry blog.

Oh, but I do indeed owe King Lear, more than I could have dreamed or hoped for way back in my schooldays...!  wry bardic grin

So, too ,'new' reader, K W, who dismisses my regular use of quotations prior to the main body of my poetry-posts as "a load of literary b- shit" may understand why we must agree to differ...?

Bye, for now, dear readers, and I hope to be back with another poem very soon.

Hugs,

Roger

[Note: this post also appears on my gay poetry blog today.] RT

A Walk on the Dark Side

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Opinion is the medium between knowledge and ignorance.” - Plato

“Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace.” - Dalai Lama

“Where there is charity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance.” - Francis of Assisi “Prejudice is the child of ignorance.” - William Hazlitt 

“Violence isn't always evil. What's evil is the infatuation with violence.” - Jim Morrison

“My mother said I must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy, that some people, unable to go to school, were more educated and more intelligent than college professors.”- Maya Angelou

Now, few things encourage anger among populations worldwide than instability and where there is instability, there is invariably a rising discontent which, in turn, encourages anger, even violence. The world is anything but stable at the moment, especially with the war in Ukraine resulting in an economic crisis just about everywhere.

Here in the UK, Rishi Sunak has been voted our new prime minister – our third this year! – by Tory MP’s, while other parties and much of the population had been calling for a General Election. While I, personally, think Sunak is a good choice, the fact remains that he does not have a mandate; the political argument put forward by the Conservative Party that it does have mandate, having been voted into power at the last General Election, neither impresses nor convinces most people. After all, the world is a very different place than it was in May, 2019!

We have seen a significant rise of violence on the streets as well as domestic violence since Covid-19 arrived. Given the further threat of a possible flu/ Covid pandemic this winter, as well as a world financial crisis, it is hardly surprising that cases of reported violence appear to be rising. As for unreported cases... who knows?

A WALK ON THE DARK SIDE

I listen, but do not always hear,
look, but do not always see what is there,
only what I expect to find
in the deeper, darker recesses of a mind
fed half-truths and fake news,
manipulated by destructive life forces
supposedly meaning well,
while making use of such stereotypical images
as would rewrite history’s pages

Born innocent, only to be exposed
to a cowardly rhetoric of prejudice and hate
insinuating mind-body-spirit
with misinformation, fake news and such views
as expounded to win over
the less perceptive, least enlightened
among humanity, nurturing
prejudice and violence to home in on a humanity,
with a predilection for profanity 

I turn common sense on its head, sanity
made to give way to such false interpretations
of self-education, perpetuated
by the absence of love, kindness, caring
for one another, all virtue
portrayed as weakness to the vulnerable,
by any who walk on the Dark Side,
waging war with and for every human heart-and-soul,
manipulators and manipulatable

I am Ignorance, listening out for a wiser, kinder voice;
peace or violence, an all but interchangeable choice

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: this post-poem appears on both poetry blogs today, as I feel it is relevant and feedback suggests that many LGBT readers remain cautious of only having access to shared computers.] RT 

Potential for a Love Story OR The Eyes Have It

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Love has no gender - compassion has no religion - character has no race.” - Abhijit Naskar, Either Civilised or Phobic: A Treatise on Homosexuality 

“Love him and let him love you. Do you think anything else under heaven really matters?” – James Baldwin

“Equality means more than passing laws. The struggle is really won in the hearts and minds of the community, where it really counts.” – Barbara Gittings

“Sexuality is one of the ways in which we become enlightened, actually, because it leads to self-knowledge – Alice Walker”

Now, it was a lay preacher who first defined ‘gay’ for me as “A person who not only sees no sin in being physically attracted to their own gender, but dares to justify any such relationship by suggesting it is a mutually consensual experiment in love. Love, of course, plays no part in it. It’s but an excuse for casual sex which, even between opposite genders is only ever at best, a selfish act, at worst, a sin.”

“But what if the couple concerned really do fall in love?” I wanted to know.

“Are you deaf, or something,” he snapped testily, there is no such thing as falling in love with someone of your own sex. Love them, yes, by all means, but platonically, not in a physical sense.” Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do…”

Even at the age of 11, ‘pompous ass’ was the first phrase that sprung to mind as I watched him go.

It was the 1950’s. My mind continued to dwell on that conversation even before I realised I was gay myself. So prevalent and widely accepted was such prejudice towards gay folks in those days, that I felt unable to confide in anyone.

As regular readers will know, it would be another twenty years before I felt strong enough to share my secret with the world, but not before falling in love with a potential partner for life who was killed in a car accident that sent me scurrying back into a lonely closet.

Fewer people these days are intimidated by religious objections to a person’s sexuality and are more inclined to take others as they find them and play any potential friendship by ear.

Now, some readers may well be interested in the revised edition of Odd Men Out by John-Pierre Joyce, Manchester University Press, 2022. It charts the history of gay men in 1950’s and 1960’s Britain, but I suspect gay men everywhere, from all walks of life, will be able to relate to it, not least because homophobia remains rampant across the world, not least due to the narrowmindedness and sheer hypocrisy of various religions.

POTENTIAL FOR A LOVE STORY or THE EYES HAVE IT

As he turned from his window
on the world below,
his gaze rested briefly on me,
and in that moment,
we strangers acknowledged
the prison from which
we so longed to go free to enjoy
such venial pleasures, for better or worse
as would see us embrace

He left the room without a word,
intuitively, I followed;
sooner, rather than later, we knew
we would be acting out
a beautiful dream acknowledged
under cover of silence,
bringing us together to revel
in such carnal delights as we would share,
for laying our souls bare

Better bare than clothed in hypocrisies
constantly insisting
we are committing various sins
of the flesh, sure to see us
in a hell of our own construction 
for denying the edicts
of religions dating back centuries,
ostensibly expressions of love and peace,
except for You-Me-Us

I am that desire-of-the-flesh-become-reality,
transcending a potential love story

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022 

[Note: Several straight friends insisted I publish this post-poem on both poetry blogs today. Who am I to argue...?]

 

Hello again from London UK

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.” – Robert Frost

“Poetry lifts the veil from the hidden beauty of the world, and makes familiar objects be as if they were not familiar.” – Percy Bysshe Shelley

“Yet, it is true, poetry is delicious; the best prose is that which is most full of poetry.” – Virginia Woolf

“A poet can survive everything but a misprint.” Oscar Wilde 😉

Hello again from London UK,

Sorry, no poem today as I am not well at the moment. I have one in mind, though, so hopefully soon…

I always value reader’s comments and criticism; although I block them on the blogs, I can always  emailed at; rogertab@aol.com. I try to reply to all genuine emails, but please put ‘Poetry’ in the subject field or it may well end up in my spam folder.

Reader C. J. has commented with regard to my latest poem that “…if The Lie is meant to be a kenning, it isn’t because a kenning requires nine nines and a couplet and The Lie has only eight lines…” Many thanks for that, C. J. but it is not intended to be a kenning.  I have every respect for ‘form’ but am inclined to ignore it from time to time. 

Rightly or wrongly, I feel that couplets provide the reader (and poet) with a neat ending as well as helping to make clear what the poem is about and what prompted the writing of it in the first place.

On the subject of form, I should perhaps return to a frequent criticism regarding the absence of a period or full stop at the end of each stanza. I simply feel, as I have always felt since enjoying poetry even as a child, that it interrupts the flow of a poem; what is considered ‘grammatically correct’ is not always in a poet’s interest.

Anyone who has read any of my poetry volumes will know that, at the time, I tried using prepositions at the end of lines further flow; this was a misjudgement on my part which I have not repeated on my poetry blogs. 

C. J. also asks “… what prompted you to start up a gay as well as general poetry blog?”

Well, at the time there was not a lot of gay-interest poetry available. I wasn’t sure if there would be much interest out there. I also lacked self-confidence. A boost to my confidence came when I was privileged to participate in sculptor Antony Gormley’s ‘Live art' One and Other project on the 4th plinth in London’s Trafalgar Square in 2009. It was my first public reading of my own poems and I included some gay poems; the audience below seemed to enjoy it and I went on to give other readings, mostly in public libraries around the country and the former location for The Society of Genealogists here in London.

I hope to celebrate my 80th birthday in 2025 by giving a public poetry reading, but having been living with prostate cancer for some years now as well as other health issues that accompany the process of growing old, I am counting no chickens. 

Now, I am hoping to find a publisher for revised editions of my earlier collections. I have had to self-publish in the past because no UK publisher that I approached showed any interest, possibly because I insisted on including gay-interest as well as general poems. However, since the publication of my last collection,  Tracking the Torchbearer in 2012 both general and gay poetry blogs have proven popular with readers; according to Blogger statistics, total views for the former now stands at nearly 210,00 and 160,000+ respectively. So, fingers crossed…

Many thanks as always for dropping by, folks,

Take care, stay safe and keep well,

Back again soon with a new poem,

Hugs,

Roger

 

The Lie OR A Matter of Conscience

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” -  William Shakespeare

If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people. – Virginia Woolf 

“Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others.” Fyodor Dostoevsky

“The worst part about being lied to is knowing you weren’t worth the truth.” Jean-Paul Sartre

Now, I suspect most if not all of us tell lies sometimes, whether to ‘spare’ someone home truths or, more likely, to spare ourselves having to cope with theirs and our own at the same time. Whatever motivates the telling of them can be as deceitful, if not more so, than the lies themselves. 

Living with a lie can be a harsh, lonely environment; such was the closet imposed on me at the ripe old age of 14 years by family, church and a generally homophobic 1950’s before I finally came out as a gay man. There are other closets, of course, and other lies; if the cap fits…?

THE LIE or A MATTER OF CONSCIENCE

Whenever I may try
just to put something right,
you’ll argue with me
one long, dark night till dawn,
and just when I’m sure
I’ve won, a watery sun and birdsong
arrive to prove me wrong

It matters hardly at all
should you colour me white,
for soon forgot,
waiting to catch you out;
if no real harm done,
easy enough to simply shrug me away
if only to nag you another day

It’s who colours me black
or even subtler shades of grey
has the most to fear,
living on the edge of a pit
of snaky half truths
eager to begin, on any slip of the tongue,
a song no swan ever sung

Oh, but I so revel in leading people astray,
anywhere, any time of day... 

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: This post-poem also appears on my gay-interest poetry blog today.] RT

A Word to the Wise

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

"Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.” – Charlotte Bronte

"You don’t stop laughing when you grow old. You grow old when you stop laughing. – George Bernard Shaw

“Age isn’t how you are, but how you feel.” Gabriel Garcia Marquez

“Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.” – Confucius

“In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” – Robert Frost 

Now, I started to say that, on the whole, I am not enjoying old age…until I looked again at that telling phrase ‘on the whole’ and realised that age is but the sum of its parts, just as we are the sum of ours. 

Having always had to take the rough with the smooth, better, surely, to keep the smoother in view and put the rougher behind us…?

Smooth is good and life, at any age, is invariably a mix of good and bad, though not forgetting that old standby, muddled…

I well recall that, as a schoolboy in the 1950's,  I once considered the prospect of 'fate' as something to be scared of until I heard Doris Day singing Que sera, sera (What will be, will be) in such a bright, fun, lively way that it never seemed anywhere near as scary any more, just something to muddle through, for better or worse, as best we can; in the case of the latter, once through, best learned from and  moving on...

So, yes, in the course of writing this preamble, I have reached the conclusion that old age is a bit of a muddle. Since mind-body-spirit has always urged yours truly to muddle through whatever and keep looking on the bright(er) side of life, I guess that’s what I’ll continue to do… 😄

You may well ask what  sexuality has to do with growing up and/ or growing old. What, indeed...?

A  WORD TO THE WISE

Growing old, faster than I would
ever have believed it
of as feisty a mind-body-spirit
as always as a part of me,
tugging gently but firmly at the heart 
strings, reminding me 
I’m gay, and nothing wrong with that;
no matter some folks may call us perverse
it’s good, it’s cool. this you-me-us

Growing old, time passing at a pace,
I’d never have though it,
for making the most of mind-body-spirit
in such ways as obliging
its everyday calling in such life forces
as cheering heart-and-soul on
in what has never been a competition,
just ordinary folks but doing their damnedest
to enjoy the best, endure the worst

Grown old, confirms a birth certificate
that’s but a piece of paper,
not a record of its owner’s path in life,
whether or not ever able
to make any sense of such flaws 
in certain life forces set on 
debasing our humanity for so interpreting
various moral agendas as would have us seen 
an enemy of ‘what-might-have-been’

Where age a measure of potential from the start,
come winners all, the young at heart

 Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: this post-poem also appears on my gay poetry blog today; after all, we all get old, and we’re as old as we feel… like Methuselah some days maybe, but, on the whole…] 😉RT

 

An Empathy with Nature (3)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.” - George Orwell

“If freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.” -George Washington

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.” - Charlotte Brontë  

"The moment you say that any ides is sacred, whether it's a religious belief or secular ideology, the moment you declare a set of ideas to be immune from criticism, satire, derision or contempt, freedom of thought becomes impossible. - Salman Rushdie

“Human nature is not a machine to be built after a model, and set to do exactly he work prescribed for it, but a tree, which requires to grow and develop itself on all sides, according to the tendency of the inward forces that make it a living thing.” John Stuart Mill

Now, the recent attempted murder of Sir Salman Rushdie an active supporter of free speech has shocked the free-thinking world

The Indian-born Briton, whose novel The Satanic Verses led to death threats from Iran in the 1980s, was about to deliver a lecture at the Chautauqua Institution in New York state, when his attacker leapt on stage and stabbed him.

Fortunately, it has been reported that Sir Salman is no longer on a ventilator and is able to speak, although it is possible that he may have sustained potentially life-changing injuries as a result of the attack on Friday.  

Free expression and a personal space which embraces a sense of spirituality, whatever our religious or secular beliefs, deserve to be seen as mutually inclusive. I see it as the bottom line in the argument for agreeing to differ, on which most if not all my poetry posts are based.

AN AFFINITY WITH NATURE (3)

Humanity is all-embracing
where ‘all’ includes you-me-us 
in any language, culture
and creed, a worthy heads-up 
to freedom of expression
and a sense of no holds barred,
in such walks of life
and corners of an ever-sickening world
where denied the last word

Fear of losing kith and kin,
has never been reason enough
to hide behind any lie
or threat even love may feel
called upon to impose, adopting
a false persona,
for an only-human need to be seen
betraying neither native beliefs nor ideals
incumbent on heart-and-souls

Life was a closet -prison,
no escape, till I found someone
to listen to me
(non-judgementally) sensing
my pain and insecurity
as a human being, no awful stereotype
conjured up by society
to conceal its ignorance, put its shame to rout
for failing LGBT+ folks coming out

Call me Redemption, author of my own salvation,
if only for taking the edge off being human...?

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: This post-poem also appears on my gay-interest poetry blog today.] RT

An Empathy with Nature (2)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” – Albert Camus

“Human nature is not a machine to be built after a model, and set to do exactly he work prescribed for it, but a tree, which requires to grow and develop itself on all sides, according to the tendency of the inward forces that make it a living thing.” John Stuart Mill

“The temple bell stops, but I still hear the sound coming out of the flowers.” - Matsuo Basho

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is the temple. The philosophy is kindness.” Dalai Lama

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou

The idea or metaphor of the human body as a temple isn’t exclusive to any religion, can also be found in various religious texts. One example is fasting, practiced in order to grow closer to some divine life force by distancing oneself from worldly dependencies, such as food and other pleasures. 

Sadly, this very distancing can encourage a degree of separatism within various societies / communities worldwide, where the art of agreeing to differ is more likely to light the flames of aggression than any candles of peace among those members who are (understandably if not always appropriately) more concerned with driving home their own point of view than agreeing to differ. 

Our sexuality is an expression of who, not what we are; for sure, it is not an attack on the temple of the human body since we are born this way; it is not a choice. The only choice is whether or not we feel encouraged to express it and look the world in the eye as we do so.

As regular readers of both my poetry blogs (my fiction blog too) will know, I was in my early 30’s before I finally emerged from the closet that had been my prison since I first realised I was gay at the age of 14 years (during what were overtly homophobic 1950’s here in the UK.).

60+ years on, I’d have hoped for a much kinder world, any perceived ‘differences’ regarding gender, ethnicity, culture or religion seen as making a positive contribution to a common humanity and welcomed as such. It is good to see this happening, especially among young people around the world, many if not most of whom deserve better than the awful prospect of being made to feel rejected - intentionally or not - by kith and kin.

AN EMPATHY WITH NATURE (2)

Some abuse me, say I sin
whose faith would condemn me
to serve a life sentence
for finding my own way, not theirs,
accessing a sense
of spirituality reflecting the real me,
(yes, warts 'n all);
no copycat stereotype, me, for a spirituality
that lets me BE

Consider mind-body-spirit
a temple to life forces, both worldly
and divine? In the latter
we can trust its promises to fulfil,
by way of heart-and-soul in good time;
i any other we can but hope
our judgement not in error, or else
we have but ourselves to blame, no comfort
 in hindsight…

Given life, a learning curve
my kind would do well to climb,
grow wiser to home truths,
give its kinder voices a say for the sake
of a common good,
respect various differences of opinion,
in all corners of society;
no life force has a monopoly on the humanity
that lets us BE 

Call me Sacrilege, in this heaven-and-hell world
where Peace so needs to have the last word…?

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: this post appears on both my gay and general poetry blogs.]

 

An Empathy with Nature (1)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Love has no gender - compassion has no religion - character has no race.” - Abhijit Naskar, [Either Civilized or Phobic: A Treatise on Homosexuality]

“Human nature is not a machine to be built after a model, and set to do exactly he work prescribed for it, but a tree, which requires to grow and develop itself on all sides, according to the tendency of the inward forces that make it a living thing.” John Stuart Mill

“In terms of sex between same-sex partners, the objection that "the parts don't fit" doesn’t make sense on even the most logical level. If the parts didn't work together, frankly, people wouldn't be putting them together.” -  Kathy Baldock [Walking the Bridgeless Canyon: Repairing the Breach Between the Church and the LGBT Community]

“Our common humanity is more important than all the things that divide us.” – Mairead Corrigan

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Now, as regular readers will know, some years ago, I began writing a trilogy, the title of each volume to be Blasphemy, Sacrilege and Redemption; it was never finished. I had been given to understand that an American publisher would publish it, but it transpired that he was only interested in breaking into the UK market. When Blasphemy failed to comply, he lost interest in any companion volumes.

Although I had already written Sacrilege, no UK publishers expressed any interest in a gay-interest trilogy. Moreover, a very rude letter from the American publisher, making fun of my self-publishing logo, “Assembly Books” left me loath to complete the trilogy. He clearly had no sense of irony which, regrettably, I took to heart at the time.

Later, I published Sacrilege along with Blasphemy and my other novels on my fiction blog, but was already having to deal with health issues that, dissuaded me from writing Redemption.

Why Blasphemy-Sacrilege-Redemption? The enduring hope was to get across the idea that any form of prejudice is a blasphemy, just as physically and/ or emotionally abusing LGBT+ folks is a sacrilege and our ability to rise above it and come together in peace and love with the blessing of friends and family (gay or straight, kith and kin alike) is nothing short of a redemption. 

For my own part, those early closet years were a living death, nor ever have I felt so alive as when I felt the full force of mind-body-spirit prompting me to to get real and come out. 

Subscribers to conventional religions may well take offence; none intended, though, as my only intention has ever been to endorse the Human Right to differ. Besides, any religious argument that  God is Love loses credence in the face of any form of prejudice within the framework of a common humanity. Me, I consider myself a Pantheist, a feeling for God as nature rather than its creator, having always felt a closer affinity and sense of spirituality with nature. 

As in all matters across the human landscape, we cannot expect to always accept or even understand some of the choices people make, simply respect them as we respect theirs, not cause dispute and irreparable division, especially in matters of the heart. No one should be made to feel a sinner, whatever their religion, for staying true to their native sexuality; nor, I imagine, would any God of Love judge us so.

Regular readers of any or all of my blogs will know that agreeing to differ, rather than fighting over whatever, it is a matter close to my heart.

So…such is the background to a proposed trilogy of poems,  Am Empathy with Nature (1), (2) and (3) of which the first appears below.

Now, I hope to complete (2) and (3) within a few weeks, but have to confess that health issues are proving a hindrance to just about everything I attempt at the moment, so there may be some delay.

Each poem will also appear on my gay poetry blog. Doubtless, some readers here will complain that my  Gay/ LGBT+- interest poems should be restricted to that blog, but a poem has something to say to everyone, just as prejudice is inclined to raise its ugly head anywhere and everywhere.

 AN EMPATHY WITH NATURE (1)

Some abuse me, say I sin
whose faith would condemn me 
to serve a life sentence,
prisoner of heart-and-soul,
unable to break free,
give the real me an opportunity
to be as faces in the moon
haunt my days, assure me night after night,
that no wrong could feel so right

No conventional religion
would concede me the spirituality
my imagination feeds on,
taking my cue from earth, sea and sky,
all things bright ad beautiful,
creatures great and small, like candles
to love-hope-peace, lessons
for the learning in nature and human nature,
to embrace, pas on, nurture

No true love can be a sin,
regardless of whatever any religion
might have to say,
nor yearning flesh to yearning flesh,
whatever gender, but set on
giving the poetry of mind-body-spirit
a voice; no ego calling,
only a spirituality made fearful of rejection
by strictures on kith and kin

It well may be that home
is where heart-and-soul comes alive,
leaving doubts and fears
for the love of one above all others;
yet, love is ever plural,
has room aplenty for family and friends,
whose love and understanding
may yet be still relied upon as freely given;
such is the art of being human

Call me Blasphemy, in a heaven-and-hell world
where Bigotry so loves to have the last word...?

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

Keyword, Pride

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber  

 “What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it’s curved like a road through mountains.” - Tennessee Williams

“Love demands expression. It will not stay still, stay silent, be good, be modest, be seen and not heard, no. It will break out in tongues of praise, the high note that smashes the glass and spills the liquid.” — Jeanette Winterson

 “Personally, coming out was one of the most important things I’ve ever done, lifting from my shoulders the millstone of lies that I hadn’t even realized I was carrying.” – Sir Ian McKellan

“I’m living by example by continuing on with my career and having a full, rich life, and I am incidentally gay.” - Portia de Rossi

Now, today celebrates fifty years of Pride, LGBT+ folks defying the prejudices of certain world societies and religions to demonstrate a sense of pride and spirituality in being human, nor any less so for their sexuality.

As regular readers know, I am in my mid-seventies and, like many others around the world, having to deal with various health issues as well as those that too often accompany the process of growing old(er).  I cope ok(ish), but suspect that I could not have done so had I not eventually seen my way to turning my back on the multiple, offensive faux stereotypes that attempted to define us when I was growing up in the 1950’s. I regret waiting too long to look the world in the eye as a gay mam, but... better late than never.

Tragically, for various socio-cultural reasons, many LGBT+ folks around the world still feel obliged to endure the appalling loneliness and pain of a closet existence.

Coming out of that closet, made me a better person, but not before it had wrought such psychological damage on me that, even now, continues to inflict such nightmares from time to time as I would not wish on anyone, anywhere.

KEYWORD, PRIDE

Drawn to a bar
neither gay not straight,
all-comers welcome,
a pint of beer calling me
I could not ignore,
a growing need for company
at the heart of me

Soon, engaging
with a stranger, not strangers
for long, but chatting
like old friends, laughing
over trite anecdotes,
welcome respite after a long day,
let slip, I was gay

Misreading his look
of surprise, a sense of déjà vu,
hackles set to rise
but for friendly lips breaking
into a wry, sensual grin,
makings of a non-judgemental
heart-and soul

“How long?” he asked
quietly, but with as casual an air
as if he'd been asking
if I’d had a good day at the office;
I felt my face turning red,
yet urged to answer the truth of it
by mind-body-spirit

“None of my business,"
it was his turn to admit, “but more
than curious if you get
my drift…?  " I merely shrugged,
ventured a shy grin;
we chatted on, twin passions invoking
mutual understanding

Lovers, exploring a braver new world,
keyword, Pride…

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: This poem-post also appears on my G-A-Y poetry blog today] RT

Secrets

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"The deepest hunger in life is a secret that is revealed only when a person is willing to unlock a hidden part of the self." – Deepak Chopra

"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.” – Paul Tournier

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new". – Socrates

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." - Buddha

Few contemporary religions believe that homosexuality has a place in the community.  History, though, has a habit of suggesting otherwise. Ancient carvings worldwide have been recovered to show men and women having homosexual sex. 

Now, the homophobes among us may argue that civilization has progressed since then, but progress is a matter of opinion and, as a gay man and poet, I am inclined, in all conscience, to agree with the Buddha. 

Mind you, for many among us, our thoughts are invariably manipulated, for better or worse, by various faux stereotypes as created - either knowingly or otherwise - by such powers that be that, in turn, feel motivated to manipulate and welcome the thoughts of others into a singular narrow-mindedness that may well last a lifetime, but for...a steadily growing, enlightening relationship with nature?

SECRETS

Even a watery sun on a winter’s day
can lighten a burdened heart
inspiring even complete strangers
to exchange smiles
like secret lovers refusing kith and kin
so much as a look-in,
engaging in the sheer ecstasy 
of being alive, before the world gets to pelt us
with its spurious ideas

Summer, leafy buds of spring open
to such joie de vivre 
as only they know for their engaging
with nature and human nature
acknowledging both the best and worst
in one another, like secrets
shared and hopefully worked through
to such ends as may well cast caution to the wind
in the face of humankind

Love, whether for person, place, pet
or, better still, all three,
homing us in on a spirituality regarded
by some with suspicion
for not obviously engaging with the politics
of religion for having less trust in it
than perceived as necessary 
for any such mind-body-spirit as perceived worthy
of a common humanity

Ah, but there is a spirituality of thought
independent of historical agendas 
drawn up with the best of such intentions, 
aspiring to improve quality 
of human life, bring us peace of mind, 
within sure boundaries expressed
by moving fingers having writ, yet not
moved on as every Here-and-Now asks and expects
of each You-Me-Us

It’s in a proven adaptability to change 
(or not, as the case may well be)
that humanity needs must acknowledge
to rise above its worst fears,
cease to take them out on those who appear
to fall short of such expectations
as moving fingers aspiring to engage us all
with mixed interpretations of nature
and human nature, invoking a common source in both
to… endure

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

[Note: this post-poem also appears on my gay-interest poetry blog today.] RNT

A History

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Many if not most of us have them, moments in time that are surreal, take us out of ourselves and would have us look back at all personal space stripped bare of any well-chosen décor meant to give us a sense of belonging, and we do feel that… for the greater part of us that’s real. 

Only, now and then we treat ourselves to acting out some wannabe persona, lending it a reality, letting it in while, at the same time, acknowledging the need to return it where it (no ‘we’) could well have belonged, but for having to… get real?

A HISTORY

A small child,
playing in the street
outside the house
where I was born, not a care
of the world’s making,
but for its nagging mind-body-spirit
that on my own head be it

Teenage years,
home truths doing battle
with fake news,
faux stereotypes ganging up
on me, redefining
my identity, pressuring that part of me
engaging with my sexuality

A young adult
confused, all but lost
in mixed feelings,
seeking a place to belong.
left dangling 
by a favourite pop song over my head, 
bent on raising the half-dead

Older, wising up
to the ways of a world
that would have us
hang and let hang, devil take
the hindmost,
stiff upper lip, ready cue for surviving;
living and partly living

You-Me-Us, 
body of such thought
across eternity,
as left hanging by art forms
on the inner eye,
looking to make any sense or none at all
of its heart-and-soul

A small child,
playing in the street
outside the house
where he/ she was born, no cares
of the world’s making,
but for ghosts nagging a mind-body-spirit
that on its own head be it

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

Notes on Real Time

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, threatens the future and makes the present inaccessible. – Maya Angelou

“For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”- Nelson Mandela

“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” – Edith Wharton

Now, it is great news that professional footballer, Jake Daniels, who plays for Blackpool has told the world he is gay, and at the age of 17 years. 

Wow! He makes cowards of those like me. As regular readers will know, I had realised I am gay by the time I was 14, but was not openly so until my 30’s. My family had their suspicions, of course, but I got the impression they preferred as quiet a life as possible and I wasn't about to open up without some encouragement. Oh, I had my reasons (don’t we all?) but there is no reasoning with our fears; until we at least try to get the better of them, I guess we might as well be living in caves.

Sexuality is not a lifestyle choice but a vital part of who we are, straight, gay, whomsoever; just as others must choose to love or malign us, so, too, must we, ourselves. 

NOTES ON REAL TIME

I hid in a cave, scared
to come out for fear of hunters
enjoying such sport
with the likes of me as would serve
their boasts, see us
roasted on a spit, no reasoning a need
to dance away their years
with adept footwork, admired by one and all,
least access to heart-and-soul

Once, almost caught,
concrete jungle sounding its pursuit
of me with gleeful horn
and harrowing peals of expectation,
like church bells
at a wedding, feeding on as well as into
mixed feelings, under a cover
of joie-de-vivre, no one likely to spoil the fun,
be thought a killjoy by anyone

Finally, grown weary
of dark caves with only untried fears
for poor company,
I gave mind-body-spirit full access
to heart-and-soul,
listened intently to an intense exchange
of rights and wrongs, likely gains
and losses, the former winning (eventually)
for reasoning a need to be free

Who dares braves the worst in dream after dream,
has yet to discover the best of real time

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

Note: Needless to say, today's post-poem also appears on my other poetry blog.]

 

A Small World

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“Equality means more than passing laws. The struggle is really won in the hearts and minds of the community, where it really counts.” – Barbara Gittings

“Love him and let him love you. Do you think anything else under heaven really matters?” – James Baldwin

“Openness may not completely disarm prejudice, but it’s a good place to start.” – Jason Collins

Hi folks, although feedback suggests that some readers feel a gay-interest poem has no place on this blog, I cannot, in all conscience, go along with that point of view, although, yes, I do understand it. Even so, we are who we are and being gay has always been a part of who I am, at heart, as reflected in many of my poems.

My prostate cancer leaves me with little energy some days, so much so that I am unable even to look on the bright(er) side of life, impossible were I to start to feel guilty about my sexuality; as far as my poetry is concerned, it is all but irrelevant anyway. 

While I always rally the more positive life forces to my rescue in time, how long it takes them to arrive depends on how soon various other health issues settle down.😉

The poem is based on a fairly recent conversation with a complete stranger with whom I got chatting on a bus while stuck in a traffic jam. It struck a chord with me since, as I have mentioned before on the blog, I once had a schoolboy crush on a prefect at the same school, but was too scared in those days to emerge from my life-sucking closet. It would be half a century later that he’d get in touch after reading this blog and reveal that, even at the time, he, too, was gay. 

Sadly, that was way back in the (very) homophobic 1950’s and he never ventured from the closet they shoved him into, slamming the door after him with the kind of contempt that ignorance continues to breed even in what we would expect to be a more enlightened 21st century.

A SMALL WORLD

It was broad daylight, a watery sun
shedding auras on a local park,
as if determined to resist dark clouds
closing in even as I walked,
eyes wide open, as mind-body-spirit
fought its daily battle,
albeit seemingly poorly armed,
struggling to fend off darker clouds of its own
than in any heaven

I spotted a neighbour I knew, but not well,
reading a book on a nearby seat,
paused, just to say hello, to be greeted
with a smile inviting me
to linger, if only to pass the time of day,
so I did, compelled
by an increasingly darkening mood
to lighten up, conversation invariably a good start
for any human heart

We made small talk, both of us struggling
for something to say besides
wishing potential storm clouds away, sky
taking sides with a sun,
trying to make life a sight better 
for everyone, open invitation
to look on the brighter side of life,
make it more than worth the living, no matter what,
go with mind-body-spirit

Without thinking, I said, “I’m gay, you know."
“No, I didn’t." he said absently,
without turning a hair, surprise registering
in face and voice, that’s all,
no indication his heart-and soul (or mine)
thought any worse of me for it,
but leading him to gently ask questions,
less curious than  interested, no hint of any prejudice
likely to come between us 

Even so, I waited, curious to see just how long
it would take for a storm to break,
relieved to relate how I’d been afraid to say
the words, I’d just dared say,
scarcely believing it hadn’t been as hard
as nightmares had foretold,
my mood shifting for the better, clouds too,
clearing to give the sun a kinder view of the world below,
such as lets its flowers grow

Later, as we parted after agreeing to meet again,
I found the words to thank him
For not minding I’m gay in a world where one
Meets prejudice as often as not,
Mind-body-spirit wary of putting heart-and-soul
In any potential danger,
World politics and religions sowing seeds
of doubt in a vulnerable human nature at every opportunity
to address a ‘common humanity’

“Sorry!”, he laughed, “but I honestly thought you knew,
my brother went to school with you, and he’s gay too…”

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

[Note: This poem has already appeared on my gay-interest blog. I hesitated to post it here, but feel encouraged by email feedback from. 'Anon' to do so... Stay safe, folks, and keep well.] RT

 

Conversations OR Q & A

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Apologies to new reader, Y F, - who tells me he is bisexual - for not adding gay-specific poem-posts to my gay poetry blog as often as I add general-interest pieces to this one. (Similarly, there is both  general (fantasy) and gay fiction on my fiction blog.) As I have said here before, though, I find it hard to write any poems these days, given a continuing battle against various health issues, including the kind of mental stress that years of hormone therapy for my prostate cancer has imposed in recent years; as if having to contend with the ever-present threat of Covid-19 and variants hasn’t imposed stress enough on all of us… 

Writing as well as reading poetry is not only great creative therapy, it is a welcome distraction from our own trials and tribulations as well as those dominating various world landscapes...! The same can be said for any form of creative therapy, of course , whether it be arts forms, dressmaking, gardening... whatever... and can achieve a far greater sense of well-being than any medicines.

Now, email feedback suggests, Y F, that many LGBT readers now dip into both poetry blogs, so if you have an interest in poetry for its own sake, you might want to do the same as well as browsing the archives of either or both blogs? 

On the principle that a poem is a poem is a poem - regardless of content - this post-poem will appear on both poetry blogs today. Now and then, the occasional reader will complain when I do this, but it can do no harm, surely, to remind some heterosexually biased readers that a person is a person is a person too…? It is a sad indictment on the 21st century that anyone should need reminding, and good to see many straight young people, from all walks of life, opening their hearts and minds to the LGBT ethos.

Hopefully, among future generations, far fewer gay men and women, boys and girls,  - regardless of race or religion - will need to live a lie in order to sustain all-important family ties; the family ethos, too, should be about love and trust, should it not? Or how else can we, as civilised human beings, hope to learn from and respect one another…?

CONVERSATIONS or Q & A

People ask me if I am happy
to be gay, wouldn’t I rather be ‘normal’,
less of a curiosity…?
I ask them, “I am as I am, it’s me,
so why expect mind-body-spirit to reason
any differently…?”

People ask me why I choose
to be gay, wouldn’t I much rather win over
society than lose?
I tell them, “This or that society
has ever harboured bigots, their prejudices
pass over me…
Sexuality is no lifestyle choice,
but a way of giving such life forces as inspire
heart and soul - a voice…”

People ask me if I am happy
with a voice as likely as not to be sneered
at by so many…?
I ask them, “Is it any fault of mine
if they are ignorant of ways of personal space
other than their own…?
Why should anyone’s sexuality
matter to others, all of us sons and daughters,
a common humanity…?”

People ask me how I can justify
crossing lines set in stone by world religions,
yet dare invoke spirituality?
I tell them, “God is Love., you see,
and no love was ever set in stone, would side
with any bigotry…
Love and let love, each to our own,
and may we forgive who would judge us harshly
lash out at us or disown…”

People ask me if I am happy
to be gay, wouldn’t I rather be ‘normal’,
less of a curiosity…?
I ask them, “I am as I am, it’s me,
so why expect mind-body-spirit to reason
any differently…?”

Copyright R N Taber, 2022

No Bedtime Story

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“If I could have done it myself, I would have already done it: pried open my ribs and etched the Word onto my heart’s beating chambers. But it seemed my ex-gay counsellors were the only ones with enough skill and experience to wield the scalpel.” – Garrard Conley (Boy Erased.)

"Terror doesn't change people from gay to straight. It just hurts innocent people." - DaShanne Stokes

“Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary.” - Khalil Gibran

Now, like most LGBT folks here in the UK and around the world, I am appalled that the British Government has done a U-turn with regards to the banning of conversion therapy, except for transgender people; the implication is that it is more natural to deal with gender identity problems since they are a mistake that deserves to be rectified, whereas being lesbian, gay or bisexual is a matter of lifestyle choice... which, of course, it isn't.

It is incredible that such naivety and subsequent abuse of Human Rights in any so-called 'civilised' society should persist even into the 21st century, although as a measure of political expediency it should come as no surprise. God forbid, certain powers that be among the electorate, especially those whose religious agendas see the LGBT ethos as an enemy life force, should be so offended as to put their voting rights on permanent hold...

This post-poem also appears on my gay poetry blog today; although feedback suggests that although more LGBT readers browse both blogs now, a significant number don’t, especially those who use a shared computer and feel obliged to remain ‘closet’ for whatever reason.

To those (relatively few) readers who have emailed me in the past to complain about gay-interest poems appearing here as well as my gay-interest poetry blog, I can only repeat what I’ve said so many times before, that a poem is a poem is a poem just as a person is a person is a person, regardless of how critics may choose to chew over any bare bones.

NO BEDTIME STORY

I lost out on many pleasures of youth,
mind-body-spirit afraid in those dark days
to raise its head above a thick fog
of such misinformation and homophobia
as likely to appeal to those bigots
around the world to whom prejudice comes
as naturally as breathing, sad souls
whose personal space so damaged by the cut
and thrust of life, they must lash out

Better late than never, I saw the light,
emerged from my lonely closet into a new day,
thinking I needs must tell the bigots
that I’m gay, or else how to even attempt
any getting them to see the awful hurt
they inflict on the likes of me, no less a person
in my own right or in any godly sight
for being honest with myself, family and friends,
no matter how strange my story sounds...?

Though I regret the coward in me that hid
myself away from the dazzling light of home truth
during those early years of self-discovery,
revealing, ticking off a checklist of scary things
I had neither confidence nor vocabulary
then to express, unable to confide in anyone,
fearing verbal or physical abuse or, worse,
conversion therapy’s crude attempts to reshape me
in an image tailored to its host ‘society’

By the time I felt able to tell the world I’m gay,
I was less afraid to look it n the eye, could argue
the case for mind-body-spirit, heart-and soul,
confident enough to resist being thrust into freefall
yet again, closet days scratched into my brain,
a hurt I’d vowed nothing and no one would make me
endure again, nor any need, since now all-human,
for all its flaws, none of which include such desires
as lighting love-and-freedom’s home fires

Surely, a twenty-first century deserves far better
than shades of a bigotry hell bent on undermining
the more positive-thinking mind-body-spirit
aspiring to a global consensus on peace and love,
no matter its bias in politics and religions, 
arguing against a personal space always seeking
a kinder place, one less inclined to dismiss
its take on life as but a measure of such behaviour
as well-deserving contempt and censure..?

Humanity is no favourite novel, but comprising
real people battling real odds, for better or worse...
and well-deserving due respect for our efforts
no matter who we are, whatever sexual orientation
best defines us as we grow into our lives,
learning as much about our true selves and each other
as the world we share, one deserving no less care
than flowers sown in field or garden by human hands
or blown there by some heavenly wind...

Let others in the world make of us what they will,
but never forget we are a common humanity,
like it or not, and should it nurse any such reservation
as it needs must pass on for any good reason
other than society’s general well-being and salvation,
then let it keep its big mouth well and truly shut,
further research its grievances before endorsing wrongs
that have made outsiders of selective insiders for centuries
for no other reason than because, because...

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

 

Perspectives

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Hello, everyone, from London UK

“The more important thing is not the object of love, but the emotion itself”. – Gore Vidal

“There will always be enemies. Time to stop being your own.” – Larry Kramer

“Love takes off the masks we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” – James Baldwin

“I’d rather burn in hell than worship an anti-gay God.” – Desmond Tutu

Now, although some readers have objected to any gay-interest poems that I post here now and then as well as on my other poetry blog, I could not refuse a reader who simply signs his email as ‘a caring dad’. He says he has good reason to suspect that one of his sons may be gay, and doesn’t want him to live ‘in some lonely closet’. Having read a selection of poems on my gay blog, he asks that I post another here as the son in question is a regular visitor, since which he “...has come close to acknowledging his sexuality to himself and everyone else...”  

Well, good luck, dad, and if, indeed, your son is gay, I wish you both a far closer relationship that I was ever able to share with my own father.

As I keep telling readers who chance upon my gay blog (more often than not by accident than design) most of my gay-specific poems are in the blog archives, so do, take a look sometime. I will be 77 years old this year and, not unsurprisingly, no longer sexually active, especially after living with prostate cancer for a good ten years now; hence, a failing inspiration with regard to poetry that embraces LGBT matters.😉

Having said that, though, my main interest in writing any poem is that poetry like any art form, excludes no one. Besides, I may be growing old, but I still have the mind-body-spirit of a gay man; nor does being of any LGBT persuasion, exclude us from such universal thought processes and opinions as reflected in this and that ethos throughout history.

Now, as I have said on previous posts, over the years, I 've met a significant number of people - from all walks of life and religion - who have been made to feel they must choose between communing with a native sense of spirituality and engaging with desires of the flesh. To anyone from any community, this would have taken them into a state of crisis during the 1950’s when I was growing up; a post-war society that saw same sex relationships as a crime against God and nature. Prejudice against LGBT folks in those days was so intense that we lived in fear of being 'outed' and subsequently getting beaten up or worse...

As any regular reader of either or both of my poetry blogs will know, it was not until my early 30’s that I finally saw my way clear to face the world as a gay man. I have openly supported LGBT rights ever since; hopefully, the ranks of heterosexual men and women who feel able to do likewise  will continue to grow... 

God, I had been told, time and again, is a God of Love. Love, of course, comes in many shapes and forms and I came to believe that love between two people of the same sex would not - contrary to the religious dogma in which I had been all but brainwashed for years - be considered a blasphemy likely to send me to Hell.  By then, too, I had discovered for myself how we can so easily be misled into creating our own Heaven and Hell here on Earth, in such ways as are anything but metaphorical...!

Prejudice of any description, towards anyone, is as much of an affront to human dignity as it has always been. Now, though, relatively slowly but surely, common sense, fairness and an equality deserving of a common humanity are filtering through to the more enlightened societies and communities worldwide; that many, if not most of these are among the more secularly inclined, does not and should not be seen as attitudes toward a native spirituality being in the decline.   

No religion has a monopoly on a person’s sense of spirituality nor the right to dictate this or that theological agenda, whatever certain Holy Books have to say on the matter.

As I have said many times on the blogs, I have every respect for anyone’s sincerely held religious faith just as I would ask them to respect my right to find my own way in life, love, and spiritual well-being.

PERSPECTIVES

As age takes its toll of me,
I look back in anger
at schooldays long, long ago,
when I’d dread anyone
should know my secret shame,
as nurtured by societies,
within such as I, a taboo as few
(then) dared call by name, fearing abuse,
left with but Hobson’s choice

Secrets, though will fester,
drive mind-body-spirit
all but mad for suppressing
such love as flowered
within such as I, to which denial
from heart and soul
but falls on deaf ears, until a time
natural instinct insists it no longer ignore
a roar, growing ever louder

The first time I ventured
into the landscape
some religions would condemn
as a unpardonable,
I was trembling for the sheer dread
my God would strike me
dead where I stood,
waiting on a stranger to come, set me free,
if only temporarily, to be ME

We exchanged few words,
that stranger and I,
as we shared a mind-body-spirit
risen to the occasion,
on wings that would be clipped
by certain powers that be
who fear, above all, an individuality
asserting itself, no whim, but once and for all
over the human heart and soul

Time passed, as time will do,
ageing mind-body-spirit
grown weary of showing masks
to a world feeding
on stereotypes, passing off its vanity
as concerns for a humanity
driven by such sure historical agendas
as would see it sign up
to God-fearing behaviour, dogma and faiths
outlawing same sex relationships

Mind-body-spirit, though, asks
more of any society
or religion, increasingly less content
to go free but now and then,
seeking out such resources of its own
as would have it go
mask-free into the world, show its face,
defy any powers that be
hell bent on taking all prejudice and hypocrisy
into yet another deaf-blind century

As generations come and go,
so, too, young people
with minds of their own, less inclined
to be browbeaten,
even during their formative years,
by agenda and/or dogma
as would capture a free mind-body-spirit
with such ideas as may suppress a natural empathy
with a sense of common humanity...

Each to their own sense of right
and wrong, no matter
from where, how or even whom it comes,
entitled not to budge,
but not so as to judge others by standards
adapted to suit themselves,
however well-intentioned they may be
to save humanity from such plots by persons unknown
as likely as not to deny it salvation

To each, though, our own perspective on personal space,
defining its You-Me-Us, by God’s grace

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

 

Hello again from London UK

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Hello again  from London UK

I hope you are all keeping safe and well. I am coping ok, but have to confess I am concerned about the Ukranian refugee crisis as a result of Russia's invasion of their country. It is great news that Europe is opening its arms to welcome them, but politicians  are saying  little or nothing about the numbers of Covid-19 cases in Ukraine being high as recently as late February 2022.

Welcome and help the refugees, of course, but at a time when Covid precautions are being relaxed in parts of Europe, especially in the UK, it is my view that basic precautions against the coronavirus need to be maintained - e.g. wearing face masks in shops, crowded areas and on public transport.

It would place awful stress on everyone if there were to be a resurgence of the pandemic across Europe, but a tragic irony, especially, for any refugees who had survived the horrors of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, only to be struck down with the coronavirus just when they thought they had found a safe haven.

Hopefully, our politicians have allowed for a potential rise in Covid-19 cases even as some leaders- especially president Macron of France, have been openly critical of the UK Government for not doing enough help and house the refugees.  I suspect , though, this has more to do with the UK voting to leave the EU than concern for the refugees themselves. 

The EU continues to nurse the vision of a United States of Europe, which is precisely why many of us in the UK - including yours truly - have no regrets about voting for Brexit. Democracy involves a fair degree of responsible autonomy and  the latter was being slowly but surely coerced by the powers that be who govern the EU. This is, of course, only my personal point of view, but I also have friends in EU countries who share it; they, like myself, were all in favour of the EEC (European Economic Community); it made economic sense. However, it proceeded to expand into the EU with ordinary folks having neither vote nor say in the matter.

Divisions and rivalries between EU leaders are, of course, the least of the world's concerns as Russian forces close in on the Ukraine capital, Kyiv. At the same time, an attack on an artillery base close to its border with Poland, brings the war worryingly close to NATO's doorstep, a matter of deep concern for  many Poles.

As a gay man, I have to say that any LGBT folks among the refugees who have not been made as welcome under Zelenskyy's presidency - as some of his more supportive earlier comments had led them to hope for and expect - will not have an easier time in Poland; although support for LGBT rights continues to grow there, so, too does local opposition.  Poland, of course, has been a member of the European Union  since 2004; attitudes towards LGBG across the European Union , as a whole, remain widely diverse. 

As for those readers who email me from time to time to ask why a gay poet is writing up "not only a straight but secular blog...", I can but put it to them that no one's 'alternative' sexuality means they are any less of  a person in their own right, as free to express opinions on all matters, as anyone else. As regular readers well know, I have no problem with anyone disagreeing with me, respecting as I do., that basic human right of agreeing to differ.

Time to close now and get ready to meet up with my best friend for lunch. Many thanks for joining me, dear readers, and I'll be back with a poem later this week.

Take care, stay safe and keep well,

Hugs

Roger

[Note: If you email me (rogertab@aol.com) please be sure to put 'Poetry' in the subject field or it will not be read. Similarly, any 'spam' will be ignored. I read all emails and try to reply asap, but please remember I am in my late 70's and  having to contend with serious health issues, so there may well be long delays.] RT

L-G-B-T, Life Forces

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

"Openness may not completely disarm prejudice, but it's a good place to start." Jason Collins

On my general poetry blog, I have been posting poems related to the current Russian invasion of Ukraine.  New reader, J.H. has emailed me, to express disappointment in my not publishing a new poem here during LGBT History month. He also reports that LGBT friends living in Ukraine have good reason, perhaps more then most, to dread what will happen to them should their country come under Russian control.

Apologies, on both points. On the first, my only excuse is being in my late 70's now and left all but impotent by years of hormone therapy for my prostate cancer. My imagination was more fertile during the years I was sexually active and I'm glad you enjoyed many of the poems you have accessed in the blog's archives.

Regarding gay friends in Ukraine, we can but hope a Ukraine under Russian control will not reflect what would appear to be a majority view in Russia against same sex relationships.  I am told it isn’t easy to be gay in Ukraine, but LGBT folks are mostly left in peace and free to demonstrate for Equal Rights.

Now, I am posting a poem here today whose themes will be familiar, but I hope will resonate with any readers anywhere who feel - for whatever reason - unable to come out to family and friends. Been there, done that, and am still haunted by the experience some 60+ years on.

I think it was in 1914 when Jason Collins made sporting history by being the first professional athlete to declare publicly that he was gay; stigma all but removed, others followed his lead.

I well recall how I had just left school when I discovered Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin on my local library shelves; it was first novel I read that reassured me that being gay is no sin, but as natural as breathing. 

I'd known I was gay since I was 14 years old, but to my shame, it would be another twenty years before I began to look the world in the eye as a gay man. I would not wish a closet existence such as I endured during those in-between years on my worst enemy.

Thankfully, many people, especially young people, are more inclined to take a person’s sexuality in their stride these days, being more interested in the person than his or her private life.

Sadly, some people, including followers of certain religions, remain as judgemental as ever of we LGBT folks and are essentially homophobic. Their powers that be will deny it, of course, but I have met many a good person whose religion has made them feel they must not only choose between Faith and Family, but between their sexuality and the sense of spirituality with which their religion has inspired them.

As I have said many times on my poetry blogs, and in my poems, no religion has a monopoly on spirituality nor the right to dictate how mind-body-spirit should feel.

While I mean no disrespect to any religion, having met some wonderful people from all walks of life, during my 70+ years, I can but ask as I have asked repeatedly on both poetry blogs - whatever happened to agreeing to differ?

L-G-B-T: LIFE FORCES

I once ran for cover
into a dark lonely closet for fear
of faux stereotypes
always camped outside my door
awaiting an opportunity
to gobble me up, if only if only
to spew me out again
into a mucky trough of public opinion
as it was way back then

Years passed. I emerged
from what I’d taken to be safety,
but proven wrong
by an active mind-body-spirit’s
ever challenging me
to be my own man, face prejudice
and bigotry head-on,
remind the world that gay’s not a word
but a living, feeling person

Now, I grow old, the world
a kinder place for the most part,
yet faux stereotypes
continue to thrive, would have me
put down for the ‘sin’
of being my own person, embracing
a sense of spirituality
and close kinship with nature and humanity
some would yet deny me

Come a time, I must look
death in the face, I shall find peace
of a kind, still denied
such as I in communities worldwide
betraying a life force
without equal, giving truth a bad name,
insisting we hang our heads
in shame for freeing mind-body-spirit of fetters
imposed by our ‘betters’

So, to whom the wiser soul
among those who strive to negotiate
life’s open mazes,
he or she who would follow natural instinct
for all they may be outlawed
or worse, accused of sacrilege, blasphemy.
for but staying true
to mind-body-spirit by choosing to ignore those
promoting faux news

Spirituality is no competition,
as certain religions would have us see it,
any reward in Heaven
due only to those who consent to subscribing
to such ways of Believing
as set in stone, yet no God of Love
nor Earth Mother
would, surely, reject or condemn any LGBT person
for coming into their own

Our differences don’t make us different, only human
in the all-seeing eye of self-perception

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: For obvious reasons, this post-poem also appears on my gay-interest poetry blog today.] RT