Hello, folks, from London UK

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Art hurts. Art urges voyages – and it is easier to stay at home.” ~Gwendolyn Brooks

“Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen.” - Leonardo da Vinci

“Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.” - Robert Frost 

“How do poems grow? They grow out of your life. “– Robert Penn Warren

Hello, Everyone, from London UK,

Reader G H has emailed to ask if the personal pronoun ‘I’ in my poems is yours truly. Well, the answer is both yes and no.  The ‘I’ is multiple voices, including mine.

Over the years, I have met many inspiring people, had inspirational tales related to me by probably as many strangers I’ve met in passing as family and friends.  Much of what I have learned, I try to pass on to readers, hence a multi-vocal ‘I’.I daresay much the same can be said for the authors of all art forms.

Feedback suggests that readers are happy with this, and can see how it fits in with the multidimensional nature of what I am trying to say in many poems.  Hopefully, I succeed more often than I fail; in either case, it often depends as much upon whether or not the reader can relate to a poem at the time as the poet’s ability to draw the reader into a poem and let him or her work through and arrive at their own take on it. Needless to say, how they finally relate to it, if at all, the poet will probably never know…

The natural world  is a constant inspiration to us all, of course, especially to the gardener who has a special relationship with nature I have always admired, even envied. More than one gardener has told me how they so look forward to spring, seeing leaves return to the trees and listening to what they have to say as they rustle in a breeze or survive a storm. Oh, yes, there is a poet in everyone...

Do feel free to email me – rogertab@aol.com - any time. I try to reply or at least acknowledge as many as possible, but only read those with ‘POETRY’ in the subject field. Sometimes, I am feeling unwell  and manage to hit a wrong key, whereupon emails disappear, so apologies to anyone expecting a reply, but has not received one. 

As regular readers well know, years of hormone therapy for my prostate cancer has played merry hell with my thought processes and general memory, so I am not as comfortable with new technology as I once was, not to mention that I can't always see the letters on a my p c keyboard too well these days either. 😉

Can you wonder that I sometimes struggle to keep looking on the bright(er) side of life?😉 Ah, but the struggle always brings its own reward...😁

Take care, folks, keep safe and stay positive,

Many thanks for dropping by and I hope to be back with a new poem soon,

Hugs,

Roger 

“

 

Self-Belief OR Destination, Otherworld

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” -  Mark Twain

“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” - ― Michel de Montaigne

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”- Marilyn Monroe

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” - Shannon L. Alder

“Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” - M. Scott Peck 

“Be faithful to that which exists within yourself.” - Andre Gide

“People may flatter themselves just as much by thinking that their faults are always present to other people's minds, as if they believe that the world is always contemplating their individual charms and virtues.” - Elizabeth Gaskell

Foe a variety of reasons, many of us suffer with low self-esteem, sometimes all our lives. I have to admit to being one of the, although I have made real progress over the years in rising above such feelings. Born and raised during the bigoted 1950’s, I was made to feel an inferior person from the time I realised I am gay, at the age of 14. Regular readers will know that I spent years in a lonely closet, rarely confiding in anyone that I was gay until ‘coming out’ to the world in my late 30’s.

Noe was my lack of self-esteem due solely to a rampant homophobia. I am not a very practical person, but found myself in a Technical High School which specialised in practical subjects like woodwork, metalwork, and technical drawing, at all of which I was next to useless and would make the kind of errors that inevitably caught a teacher’s eye; they would, in turn, bring it to the attention of the whole class. Oh, I would laugh it off, but inwardly feel positively sick.

As regular readers will also know, I had a poo relationship with my father, constantly having a go at me for “having my head in a book’ and making me feel a lesser person for that, especially as compared with my older brother who was practical, sporty and all the things my father expected of a son. Rightly or wrongly, I felt psychologically bullied and hadn’t yet learned to effectively stand up for myself without provoking an almighty row.

We are who we are and should not feel a need to justify how we identify ourselves to anyone. Being made - intentionally or otherwise - to feel less of a person by anyone, especially during our formative years or in the workplace, wherever … it can take years, if ever, to shake off a sense of inferiority.

I feel a greater sense of freedom these days, having learned mu lessons the hard way but cannot help wishing I had especially come across the Elizabeth Gaskell quote (above) during my younger years as a bookworm. 

SELF-BELIEF or DESTINATION, OTHERWORLD

Being told this, told that,
and failing to achieve a good result,
gave mind-body-spirit
a sense of falling apart, being unequal
to perspectives on me
I couldn’t work through or begin to share
however hard I’d try,
until I started listening to that voice within
reminding me I'm my own person

All but persuaded to find
my own way in a world confusing me
every step I’d take,
urging I do this or maybe rather do that
to get anywhere,
be the Someone those expecting far more
of me may rest assured
that, if only I’d listened to all they had to say,
I’d have chosen to go a ‘better’ way 

Time and again I’d feel lost,
unsuited and confused by worldly ways
others fell into with ease,
until I stumbled on home truths no-one
had led me to believe,
till mind-body-spirit made time and space
to replace the 'me'
I'd see through other eyes with my very own,
no less from without as from within

I saw a world judging me neither sinner nor fool,
made my peace with heart-and-soul 

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2023

[Note: This post-poem also appears on my gay-poetry blog today.] RT

Partners for Life

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“The great thing about getting older is that you become much more mellow. Things aren’t as much black and white and you become much more tolerant. You can see the good things much more easily… “  - Maeve Binchy 

“Aging is not uncomplicated. Creativity is an extraordinary help against destructive demons.” - Ingmar Bergman

“We are not victims of aging, sickness and death. These are part of scenery, not the seer, who is immune to any form of change. This seer is the spirit, the expression of eternal being.” - Deepak Chopra

“The ordinary experiences of aging alter and clarify your view of past, present, and future.” - Edith Pearlman

Now, many if not most of us have to cope with various health issues as we grow old(er). Never easy. The trick is not to let it obscure our perspective on the bright(er) side of life, especially as it is reflected in the kinder side of human nature

PARTNERS FOR LIFE

Growing old,
quality of life much the poorer
just for that, barely 
in touch with a mind-body-spirit
often losing its way
among mixed feelings forever open
to misinterpretation,
of positive thoughts persistently overtaken
by naggings of disillusion?

Looking back
over some shadowy shoulder
at inspiring dreams
left unfulfilled like litter on the streets
where I have lived,
expecting more of a Here-and-Now
than it was able to give,
left wondering what Time may yet yield me
other than... a lonely eternity?

Alternative voices,
familiar enough to any heart-and-soul
having had to rise above
such negative thoughts as sure to haunt
even a positive thinker
whenever life take a turn for the worse,
(as often as not)
tasking us with the greater art of being human,
in starting over, yes, yet again

Oh, mind-and body!
unable to win through, but for letting in
and partnering a native spirit
defying description, invariably taking its cue
from a natural world
no less under threat than a heart-and-soul
continuing to be inspired,
forever working through stages of regeneration;
come mind-body-spirit, in unison.

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2023

[Note: I have been very unwell, but  working on another post-poem has contributed, in no small measure, to my starting to feel a lot better and more positive about looking on the bright(er) side of life...😉 Oh, and I hope some of you will have enjoyed browsing the post-poems in the blog archives during my absence, and will continue to do so.] RT

 

Hey, it's Snowing!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

"If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?" - Percy Bysshe Shelley

"Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face". - Victor Hugo

"Autumn arrives in early morning, but spring at the close of a winter day." - Elizabeth Bowen 

"Advice is like snow - the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind."- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Now, winter can be a cold, miserable season, especially as we grow old, comfort and joy over festivities relatively short-lived. Yet, the simple sound of children having fun building a snowman can warm the cockles of even the most sceptical heart among us…if we but make time to let it.

As much of the UK experiences its first winter snowfall, even many a disgruntled commuter and shopper is also  discovering that it is better to take snow in their stride and wear an infectious smile than be a miserable so-and-so, adamantly refusing to look on the bright(er) side of life...😉

HEY, IT’S SNOWING…!

Gardens covered in snow
trees all-a-glitter in the morning sun,

Everyone moved by the view
from a cosy indoors
until they need to venture outside
to go to work, school, 
whatever the reason, now having 
to do battle with a freezing winter’s day,
come what may

Motorists menaced by fog
obscuring even the sharpest vision;
icy surfaces demanding
extra care, pedestrians under no less
threat of injury from falls,
especially the old and frail, welcoming
a steadying hand now and then
as sudden, bursts of the white stuff strike 
young and old alike 

A thin spread of ice on ponds,
and lakes inviting, but best avoided
for safety’s sake,
better to build a snowman, sounds
of fun and laughter
warming the cockles of hearts worldwide
seeking respite from the cold,
looking to engage with sunnier memories
to relax, find peace

Inner eye, following footprints in the snow
where spring flowers are preparing to grow

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

Hi, folks, from London UK

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

"Peace cannot be achieved through violence; it can only be attained through understanding". Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It is far better to endure patiently a smart which nobody feels but yourself than to commit a hasty action whose evil consequences will extend to all connected with you.” - ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

“And sure enough, even waiting will end...if you can just wait long enough.” ― William Faulkner

"Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come." - Robert H. Schuller

Hi, folks,

Yet again, I am working on a new poem; the spirit is as willing as ever, but it is a grim looking morning outside and inspiration is not yet quite ready to compensate for it. 😉

A bad night with the prostate cancer hasn't helped; even though it was not diagnosed as aggressive back in 2012, I was not prepared for years of broken sleep. Even so, I continue to feel encouraged and inspired by so many people across the world having to endure far worse circumstances then yours truly, not least the homeless and dying.

Many years ago, at school, I studied Shakespeare's King Lear for A-level GCE Exam; I was only studying two subjects, the other one was French, and I needed to pass both to go to Library Schools - for which I had been conditionally accepted. I failed the French exam, not once, but twice because my oral was not up to scratch. I was devastated and and left school in 1964 with no clear idea of what the future had in store for me. In those days, relatively few people understood homosexuality and were even less tolerant of LGBT+ folks than many still are.

It was King Lear that came to my rescue. Of all the wonderful quotes to be found in Shakespearean texts, perhaps the least likely, but one that has seen me through some tough times all my life, has been from Act 2 where Lear, raging against the cruelties of daughters, Goneril and Regan, cries:

"You heavens, give me that patience, patience, I need...!"

Now, I am a Sagittarian and it would take me another 12 years to get a university degree  and eventually qualify as a graduate chartered librarian, during which time, I needed to draw on far more patience than comes naturally to anyone born under a fire sign...

Generally speaking, attitudes towards LGBT+ folks then left much to be desired and, for a variety of reasons, I stayed in a dark, lonely closet for more years than I care to remember. Slowly but surely, attitudes are changing as more people begin to appreciate that sexual identity is not a matter of choice. 

As I have said on previous posts, one of the greater tragedies of modern life is that many world societies and religions have no understanding of the LGBT+ mindset; in my case, it was this that led to a nervous breakdown in the late 1970'swhich would ,in turn, lead to lead to my coming 'out' and starting the gay poetry blog.

Oh, but I do indeed owe King Lear, more than I could have dreamed or hoped for way back in my schooldays...!  wry bardic grin

So, too ,'new' reader, K W, who dismisses my regular use of quotations prior to the main body of my poetry-posts as "a load of literary b- shit" may understand why we must agree to differ...?

Bye, for now, dear readers, and I hope to be back with another poem very soon.

Hugs,

Roger

[Note: this post also appears on my gay poetry blog today.] RT

A Life in the Day of Mind-body-Spirit

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Make the most of your regrets; Never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it ’til it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

“Age has no reality except in the physical world. The essence of a human being is resistant to the passage of time. Our inner lives are eternal, which is to say that our spirits remain as youthful and vigorous as when we were in full bloom. Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the alpha and omega. An end in itself.” – Gabriel García Márquez  

“Look closely and you will see almost everyone carrying bags of cement on their shoulders. That’s why it takes courage to get out of bed in the morning and climb into the day.” ~ Edward Hirsch

“Happiness quite unshared can scarcely be called happiness; it has no taste.” – Charlotte Bronte

Now, as each day passes, my 77th birthday looming (in December) I am often hard pressed to keep looking on the bright(er) side of life. I so miss being young, fit, able to make plans and feel confident that I will be well enough to not only carry them through, but also enjoy and learn from them. I miss having friends around for cosy chats and a laugh; many have moved away now and mobility problems make travelling difficult.

Ah, corny though it may sound, the human spirit really can keep us young at heart and soul, if only we will let it, Rarely (if ever) easy. We can but try, even if, as life itself invariably proves, it’s a case of ‘win some, lose some…’

A LIFE IN THE DAY OF MIND-BODY-SPIRIT

There are times in any life
when the flesh is weak, but the spirit
remains as strong as ever,
whatever its reasons or seasons,
be it a spring, summer, 
autumn or winter of mind-body-spirit;
it perseveres, encouraged
by a heart-and-soul, wiser beyond its years
to sources of human tears

There are times in any life
when waking after a poor night’s sleep 
leaves the body too weary
to even raise a smile at dawn’s rising
above early mist and cloud,
trying to force its way to half-open eyes 
and ears, through drapes 
at windows obscuring Everyman’s perception
of life, love, regeneration…

Finally, though, mind and body
takes its cue from what lends it sense,
sensibility and stability,
from birth to death, whatever in-between
may lie in wait, ready to pounce
and test us to limits sure to weigh heavy
on any host body, 
all the love attending it beseeching its survival
of Humanity’s heart-and soul

Alas, not every ear that hears
can comply with every caller’s bidding;
no call, though, is ever in vain,
no matter of the human outcome be loss,
and pain, in whatever form;
living, partly living, or stored in Memory’s
vault of eternal springtime,
there remain such ways for all selves to choose,
every which way, then…loose?

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

Needs Must...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“There is something in the human spirit that will survive and prevail, there is a tiny and brilliant light burning in the heart of man that will not go out no matter how dark the world becomes.” - Leo Tolstoy 

“We are all different. There is no such thing as a standard or run-of-the-mill human being, but we share the same human spirit.”- Stephen Hawking 

“All the art of living les in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” - Havelock Ellis 

“In solitude the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself.”- Laurence Sterne

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” - Mark Twain

Now, as I grow old, especially perhaps as I live alone, I find myself taking greater meaning and strength from such common idioms as ‘mind over matter’ - the more so as even everyday tasks become more difficult and take much longer. 

As regular readers know, ten years of hormone therapy for my prostate cancer have really messed with my thought processes and memory generally. Even so, I find that exercising my mind even just by writing this blog and composing poems helps to lick some of those rogue thought processes into better shape in much the same way as physio exercises help the body.

I used to get so angry with myself - and with time itself - for the way I am. However, by the time I have taken a deep breath, begun to appreciate that I am still alive to tell the tale and how there are many people of all ages and walks of life in far worse circumstances than mine, I invariably calm down and give myself a severe telling-off for feeling sorry for myself rather than attempting to rise to whatever challenges present themselves in the Here-and-Now. 

From feeling lost in a wilderness, the decision to not only look for a way out, but finding one is music to deaf ears…

NEEDS MUST...

Within a mind-body-spirit
common to all humanity, a space
that’s ours alone to fill,
no matter how circumstances appear
to conspire against us
motivating our strengths or preying 
on some native weakness, 
known only to the heart-and-soul, urging us
to make wiser, kinder choices

Whenever circumstances 
make such demands of us as choices
are blurred by feelings
nurtured, cherished within inner selves
and painful to ignore
or even betray, then mind-body-spirit
may well fall apart, 
the faithful heart hurled into such confusion,
no real harm meant, much done

Needs must, we but trust
the inner self to know us way beyond
whatever faces society
may well often require us to wear if only
a façade for fear of being
made to feel, left out of things, unable
or afraid to raise a voice
in protest at this or that buzz of conversation
causing us consternation

The inner self knows us better
than we think we have got know ourselves
while journeying 
through the glorious and less glorious
passages of time, a wisdom 
beyond the confines of worldly demands,
licking us into shape,
an experience as defining an affinity with nature
as its past-present-future

As we pass through the seasons
of life, so mind-body-spirit aids and abets
our adapting to the changes
they ask of us, calling on heart-and soul
to call, in turn, on a native
willpower making us capable of far, far more
than we may have imagined, 
till needs must we rise above misgivings and pain;
no small part of being human

Copyright R N Taber 2022

Catcher in the Eye OR The Insider

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” – Confucius

“Beauty awakens the soul to act.” – Dante Alighieri

“Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye.” - William Shakespeare

“Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson  

Now, Reader. L J takes issue with my argument – with which regular readers will be only too familiar - that love comes in all shapes and forms. 

L J suggests that “… true love can only exist between a man and a woman and consummated as such.  Anything else is just passion for its own sake.”  Everyone to their point of view, of course, although, as a gay man, I would dispute the latter. 

Moreover, what is “true” love?   One dictionary definition of 'true' is "In accordance with fact or reality. "Take the love we feel for a pet, a work of art., a favourite place, the platonic love between close friends…are these not a reality for those concerned, an honest, sincere measure of love?  

As for the love expressed and shared between partners of the same sex who choose to spend their lives together, that has to be more than “just passion for its own sake" surely?

Today’s poem, could well be seen as companion to A Walk on the Dark Side that I published on both poetry blogs earlier this week.

CATCHER IN THE EYE or THE INSIDER

Not always in plain sight
for the world to enjoy at will,
but always there
for those to find who care
to nurture relations
with a mind-body-spirit set on
satisfying native desires
by pursuing its finer, ultimate goal,
within heart-and-soul 

I catch the eye that looks
beyond what attracts attention,
taking imagination
on a journey into sensibility,
catching the first light
of dawn where birds in trees
are waking, flexing wings,
preparing to fly clear or cloudy skies,
dry humanity’s tears

I nest in shy glances, take each
day as it comes, vaulting spectacles,
tugging nervously at hair
shining like a splendid dawn
you may well have missed,
preferring to keep your eyes shut 
for trying to hang on to hopes
of engaging with love in such a place
as called You-Me-Us

I am Beauty; in the eye of my perceiver,
a joy forever…

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: this post-poem appears on both poetry blogs today.]

Up Against It

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“The fearful unbelief is unbelief in yourself.” - Thomas Carlyle  

“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.”- James Thurber

“I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship.” - Louisa May Alcott

“We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays.” - Persius

“Fear makes us feel our humanity.” - Benjamin Disraeli

 Now, overheard in a supermarket: 

1st person:” I am so tired of feeling up against it all the time. First, the pandemic. Now, soaring prices and having to worry about putting food on the table, not to mention keeping a roof over our heads with flexible mortgages hitting the damn ceiling…"

2nd person: "You said it! Half the time, I don’t know whether I’m coming or going, any more than our new Prime Minister if you ask me…"

Yours Truly, guilty of earwigging again, yes! But... reassuring to know that other people are feeling much the same as I do… wry bardic grin

Fear of the unknown is hard to contend with at any time, and people are scared. Hospital cases for  Covid-variant  cases are reportedly on the rise again here in the UK and the cost of living crisis is hitting everyone hard, especially low-to-medium earners, among whom those with families to feed and care for are, as always in times of socio-economic crisis, the hardest hit.

As always, there are no easy answers. We can but keep looking on the bright(er) side of life and trust in a return to it sooner rather than later. In the meantime, we have a common responsibility to do our best to rise above the worst - whatever that may be - and carry as many people with us as we can.

As the shoppers went their separate ways, each flung the other a bright smile. However tough the way ahead is looking, best foot forward with a smile to match has to be a good start, yes?

YES. 

I shuffled on, my bad leg as determined to make the best of past-present-future, whatever, as the rest of me…not ready to welcome the Grim Reaper just yet. wry bardic chuckle 

UP AGAINST IT

I may test mind-body-spirit
through its storms,
while continuing to nurture
heart-and-soul,
far more than it seems to either
casual or intimate eye,
even as I am feverishly plotting
against it by way of doing my very best
to deprive my host of rest

I insinuate the weaker aspects
of all humanity, 
until mind-body-spirit feels
comfortable enough
with my presence to take me
almost for granted, all set 
to be led like a lamb to slaughter
yet, without reckoning on the homing call
of its native heart-and-soul

Confidently, I'll feel my way
through such various
calms and rages as mixed feelings
invariably impose,
only to underestimate the skills
of a human spirit
to catch me out, albeit (too) often 
at the last minute, thwarting my endeavours
to leave no survivors…

I am that fear of a darker past-present-future,
for want of care, resilience and nurture

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

You-Me-Us, Reason not the Need

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve.” -Erich Fromm  

"The greatest tragedy of human existence is the illusion of separateness." – Albert Einstein

"As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being." – Carl Jung  

"We must not wish for the disappearance of our troubles but for the grace to transform them." – Simone Weil

Now, as regular readers of either or both poetry blogs will know, I will be 77 years old later this year. As old age continues to takes its toll on various health issues, I often find myself wondering what it has all been for and…why, me?  There are no easy answers, of course. 

The main question has to be, have all the extreme ups and downs been worth it in so far as they have, at least, taught me much and brought be to this Here-and-Now, albeit one with whose pace I am finding it increasingly harder to maintain an appearance of even trying to keep up… wry bardic grin

Well, on reflection, happy memories will always get the better of bad ones; I cannot ‘see’ many of those memories now, but I can still feel them and the joy they generated.

So, yes, on balance, I am glad to be here to tell the tale. Do I deserve to be? Well, let’s face it, I’m biased… wry bardic chuckle. 

Oh, and for the reader who emailed to ask if, by You-Me-Us, I mean human relationships, the short answer is ‘yes’, bearing in mind that we can enjoy a lasting relationship with anything and anyone, at any level, if it feels right; an affinity with people, pets, nature, works of art…

YOU-ME-US, REASON NOT THE NEED

We live to love
and find ways to be happy,
but human nature
does not always concur,
mind-body-spirit
not always able to keep pace
with a heart-and-soul
subject and vulnerable to override 
by its darker side 

Ah, bur humankind
also exists to do its very best
to nurture potential
for seeing mind-body-spirit
shine a light through
any darkness, compensate 
for its mistakes
wherever, whenever and however,
(better late than never)

Yet, Time will seek
to always have its wicked way, 
with You-Me-Us,
regardless of circumstances,
answerable only
to itself, leaving humankind
at the whim
of what some would argue as its fate, 
‘late’ always too late

Time, though rarely
reckons with the positive 
nature of humanity,
its inclination to encourage
better, kinder ways
to rise above negative thoughts
inspiring the worst
in us all, leaving us prey to biased hype
and cruel stereotype

Yes, Time’s no match
for either the sheer resilience
of a common humanity
or the power of human memory
to retain, nurture 
and learn from any misfortune,
no matter the burden,
urging heart-and soul to do its very best
to alleviate the worst

To some, the meaning
of life is a blur, any reasoning
unclear as we pursue
such dreams as everyone enjoys
(win some, lose some);
only heart-and-soul has the true 
measure of us, 
whether we find ourselves united or alone
for … being but human

In whatever keeps heart-and-soul together
lies a joy forever

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

Harvest Home

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“Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.” C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed (On the death of his wife, Joy)

“Sometimes, only one person is missing, and the whole world seems depopulated.” - ~ Alphonse de Lamartine, Méditations Poétiques

“She (Dorothea) was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with It as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts.”  George Eliot, Middlemarch

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments but what is woven into the lives of others.” – Thucydides

A neighbour commented: “I never met the Queen, never knew her except as a smiling, graceful figure reaching out to me from the TV. Yet, I feel as if I have lost a dear friend. Silly of me, I know…” 

Not silly at all. I suspect many of us are feeling a similar sense of loss, and as we pause to wonder why, we may well discover some answers to questions we all ask of ourselves.

The legacy of the late Queen Elizabeth II is, indeed, immeasurable in so far as it embraces a truly global consciousness. Mixed feelings, indeed, nor any greater than a sense of losing someone while, at the same time, wanting to celebrate their life.

HARVEST HOME

I am the world that turns
on an axis separate from all others,
yet as much a part
of a common humanity as the air
we breathe in order
to gift me to mind-body-spirit,
for planting and nurturing
what motivates this, my being baring all
to save a heart-and-soul

I can sing and dance, show
myself to the world, by way of urging
we celebrate the gift of life,
whose seed freely given in peace
and love, grown, nurtured,
harvested in such seasons of time
and personal space as begs
we pause to watch, listen, learn, take heart
from a truly indomitable spirit

Where the going is as tough
as it gets, be sure I’ll be there for you,
if not always understood;
feel free to rummage, no damage
done that cannot mend;
though my harvesting yield only pain
and tears of want and fear
,be sure, needs must you explore new worlds
beyond boundaries set by words

I am those feelings by way of which humanity
writes that epic poem we call ‘Eternity’

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

 

Lakeside

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“A lake carries you into recesses of feeling otherwise impenetrable.” – William Wordsworth

“Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake.” – Wallace Stevens

“If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water.” – Loren Eisley

While recovering from a nervous breakdown some 40+ years ago, I returned to my home county, Kent, often referred to as the Garden of England. I returned to a lake that my mother had taken me to visit many years ago; it helped (a lot) to renew a sense of positive perspective in me.

I guess, going back can help us move forwards, although not a good idea to stay too long and get bogged down in wishful thinking...!

LAKESIDE

One day, I went for a walk
in a local park not far from home,
a light breeze in my hair…
paused by a lake to watch fishes
glide by, glanced down
and experienced a stab of surprise,
failing at first to recognize
a face looking back at me as my own
for looking old, tired and worn

I’d always thought of myself
as one among the young at heart;
no traces of that here,
gazing back at me, all but accusingly,
catching me out in denial
of a Here-and-Now closing in on me
that I cared not to acknowledge
for fear of having to yield to and admit
a sense of loneliness and defeat

Mind-body-spirit then chose
to take me along paths old and new,
past sunny milestones
as well as weepy tombstones,
among sounds of laughter and tears
that have had me ride
such winds, earth and seas across
prose and poetry as have also shown me
a happy, sad ’n’ bad humanity

A face in the lake tossed me a wry smile,
made its peace with heart-and-soul

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

 

A Life in the Death of a Leaf

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“Solitude is independence.” – Hermann Hesse

“In solitude, the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself.” – Laurence Sterne

“If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in bad company.” – Jean Paul Sartre

“Solitude is a good place to visit, but a poor place to stay”. - Josh Billings (alias Henry Wheeler Shaw)

“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.” – May Sarton

Now ,even as a child, I enjoyed a close relationship with nature, the more so when on my own and unavailable to intrusive interruptions.  I did not need to be in a wood or by the sea or even outside my own room. Books and their authors were not only my friends, they were my mentors too; it would only take word or a phrase and I would be transported, across time and personal space, where alter ego would feel free to make a case for… whatever.

The only drawback was – and, I suspect, always will be – that I learned more about myself than anyone else would ever see; warts ‘n’ all….😉

A LIFE IN THE DEATH OF A LEAF

Alone and feeling lonely,
like the only leaf left on a tree
that’s been battered
by an autumnal wind raging 
at… what, exactly?
Whatever, having me empathise,
with a leaf on a tree
I'd barely noticed before, yet, suddenly, 
we are as one, we three

“It is but the way of things,
murmured the tree “that I lose
my dear companions
through those seasons of my life
that our Earth Mother 
would have  them kept safe
for future generations 
to look to see, hear to listen and pass on,
all the wiser for being reborn.”   

A fine calm and quietude 
came over me, lonely no more,
in a splendid solitude
for witnessing a gust tug the leaf
from its tree, each farewell
a burst of happy-sad 
on this heart-and-soul, grown closer,
in all truthfulness, to the bitter-sweetness
of evergreen life forces…  

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

Hello again, folks, from London UK

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“We must accept finite disappointment, but we mast never lose infinite hope.” – Martin Luther King

“Always remember that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” – A. A. Milne

“If you are pining for youth I think it produces a stereotypical old man because you only live in memory, you live in a place that doesn’t exist. Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.” David Bowie

Hello again, folks, from London UK

No poem today, sorry. I am working hard on the final part of my poetry trilogy, but the heat is getting me down and there is still more of it in my mind than on paper. As regular readers know, years of hormone therapy (only) for my prostate cancer have really messed with my thought processes. Even so, we golden oldie poets are stronger and more determined than we look, so I press on. I am taking a break from Misnomer (3) while we are having to endure a heatwave here in the UK, but hope to finish and post it sometime next week.

The heat makes me feel dead beat. but writing poetry and doing word puzzles help even a gay poet to think straight. 😁  

Reader G J has emailed to complain that “You are very selective with your quotes, always choosing those that support your own views. Besides, some of the people you quote are obscure and unheard of…!” He or she also asks, “Do you realise that you often repeat the same quotes on other posts?” 

Yes, I am selective about the quotes I choose to post, not to support my own views, but (a) to provide the reader with an entry to the poem and (b) to avoid giving the impression that I am simply imposing my own views. As for obscurity, there is an entry for everyone I quote on Wikipedia if anyone cares to look, as I hope they will; yes, the authors may be obscure to some readers, but are well worth looking into, but this is a poetry blog and there simply isn’t room for me to expand.

As for repetition. I learned at an early age that if something is worth saying, it is invariably worth repeating; that’s how memorable quotes become… well, memorable. 😉

I hope some of you will find time to explore the blog archives now and then, although I suspect a heatwave is probably not the best encouragement...

In the course of global warming, I imagine many if not most of us will be having to deal with unseasonal heat and its consequences in the foreseeable future. I can but wish you all to keep well, stay safe and continue (as I do, albeit a struggle sometimes) to nurture a positive thinking mindset, whatever… No, never easy, but there is a lot to be said for the old saying ‘Hope springs eternal’… especially when the going gets tough.

In my experience, too, the spirit of kindness never fails to make itself felt and give hope a timely and very welcome boost

Take care, stay safe and keep well,

Hugs,

Roger

Tide, Turning

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“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all.” – Emily Dickinson 

“Love is a springtime plant that perfumes everything with its hope, even the ruins to which it clings.” – Gustave Flaubert

“Life begins on the other side of despair.” - Jean-Paul Sartre

Now, we never feel so alone as when we despair, for whatever reason. It is an awful feeling, a sense of being adrift and close to drowning in personal space; at least, though, it gives human nature an opportunity to come into its own and set out to prove that mind-body-spirit can do better… if we but give it a fighting chance.

TIDE, TURNING 

All but drowning,
voices asking only that You-Me-Us
re-engage, left struggling 
to keep mind-body-spirit abreast
of vital life forces
separated from a heart-and-soul
gone absent without leave, 
adrift in personal space, seeking a lifeline,
to be restored, forgiven

All but drowning,
half-heartedly attempting to keep pace
with other fishes in a sea
of mixed feelings, pulling me this way
and that, a fickle tide
now consenting to keep me afloat,
now dragging me under,
arms, legs, putting on a show of emulating
the lesser art of living

All but drowning,
vague voices assuming greater clarity,
like a new moon’s rising,
penetrating even the cloudy darkness
of a mind-body-spirit
war-weary of ways of the world,
lost all faith in humanity
nor trusting promises of divine intervention,
yet...stirrings of motivation?

Positive thinking,
tide turning, a sense of its siding with me,
stinging like a sea anemone
but not fatally, as if issuing a challenge
I’d be a fool to ignore,
reminding me there’s no sense in giving in
without at least attempting
a kinder endgame, a chastened heart-and-soul
stepping up, getting real

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

Keyword, Pride

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 “What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it’s curved like a road through mountains.” - Tennessee Williams

“Love demands expression. It will not stay still, stay silent, be good, be modest, be seen and not heard, no. It will break out in tongues of praise, the high note that smashes the glass and spills the liquid.” — Jeanette Winterson

 “Personally, coming out was one of the most important things I’ve ever done, lifting from my shoulders the millstone of lies that I hadn’t even realized I was carrying.” – Sir Ian McKellan

“I’m living by example by continuing on with my career and having a full, rich life, and I am incidentally gay.” - Portia de Rossi

Now, today celebrates fifty years of Pride, LGBT+ folks defying the prejudices of certain world societies and religions to demonstrate a sense of pride and spirituality in being human, nor any less so for their sexuality.

As regular readers know, I am in my mid-seventies and, like many others around the world, having to deal with various health issues as well as those that too often accompany the process of growing old(er).  I cope ok(ish), but suspect that I could not have done so had I not eventually seen my way to turning my back on the multiple, offensive faux stereotypes that attempted to define us when I was growing up in the 1950’s. I regret waiting too long to look the world in the eye as a gay mam, but... better late than never.

Tragically, for various socio-cultural reasons, many LGBT+ folks around the world still feel obliged to endure the appalling loneliness and pain of a closet existence.

Coming out of that closet, made me a better person, but not before it had wrought such psychological damage on me that, even now, continues to inflict such nightmares from time to time as I would not wish on anyone, anywhere.

KEYWORD, PRIDE

Drawn to a bar
neither gay not straight,
all-comers welcome,
a pint of beer calling me
I could not ignore,
a growing need for company
at the heart of me

Soon, engaging
with a stranger, not strangers
for long, but chatting
like old friends, laughing
over trite anecdotes,
welcome respite after a long day,
let slip, I was gay

Misreading his look
of surprise, a sense of déjà vu,
hackles set to rise
but for friendly lips breaking
into a wry, sensual grin,
makings of a non-judgemental
heart-and soul

“How long?” he asked
quietly, but with as casual an air
as if he'd been asking
if I’d had a good day at the office;
I felt my face turning red,
yet urged to answer the truth of it
by mind-body-spirit

“None of my business,"
it was his turn to admit, “but more
than curious if you get
my drift…?  " I merely shrugged,
ventured a shy grin;
we chatted on, twin passions invoking
mutual understanding

Lovers, exploring a braver new world,
keyword, Pride…

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: This poem-post also appears on my G-A-Y poetry blog today] RT

"This 'n' That": Pillow Talk

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"A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow." - Charlotte Brontë

"We are such stuff/ as dreams are made on; / and our little life/ is rounded so with sleep." - William Shakespeare (The Tempest)

"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty." - Mahatma Gandhi

Some readers may be interested in the history of today’s poem in so far as it bares little resemblance to my first effort, apart from its main theme/s, which I lost when my pc crashed just as I was in the process of slightly revising it! 

Now...a reader has emailed to say that, like me, he is in his late 70’s, has prostate cancer, taking stock of his life and wondering “…just what the hell it has all been for.” 

Well, only he can answer that one, but I cannot believe it of anyone that they haven’t had good times as well as bad, heavenly moments as well as hellish ones. Me, I try to focus on certain heavenly moments whenever I find myself ‘taking stock’... and trust they may define me more credibly than the latter.

Meanwhile Russia continues its war on Ukraine, despite huge losses among the ranks of both aggressor and defender, while the West does its best to appear supportive of the latter by supplying arms as well as rhetoric without  provoking  Vladimir Putin and his supporters into a potentially WW111 situation.

As the old truism goes, hope springs eternal… wry bardic grin7

"THIS 'N'THAT": PILLOW TALK

“Why, this, that, who and - whatever?
Such are questions we may well often ask
of mind-body-spirit, time and again,
so anxious for answers, feeling let down
for getting none, merely alternatives
to sift through and see if we can discover
some, at least, for comfort’s sake
if not as great a peace of mind as we’d hoped,
enough, though, to quieten our pillows

In the springtime of our years, innocence
shielding us from such the ways of the world
as likely to confuse, even abuse us
as we pass through its seasons, now enjoying
feelings of all but touching the sky
on a playground swing, now free to laugh
at the ups and downs of a see-saw,
only vaguely relating such delight to any doubts
imposed by nature and human nature

Ours seasons pass, various thrills and spills
of maturity likely making indelible impressions
on the very character of any heart-and-soul,
still asking much the same questions
of a mind-body-spirit, left feeling no less let down
for such answers as our personal space alone
needs must sift through a history of mixed feelings,
home in on joys of love and peace
reconciling with, atoning for, even forgiving

No abstract notion of ‘fate’ defines humanity
more than a capacity for divining such home truths
as will (invariably) direct or misdirect us
through its maze, sins and blessings according
to this or that agenda as drawn up
by society or community, politics or religion
for all we are, a veritable hotchpotch
of passions, arguing needs to keep up appearances,
rushing to judgements, making war, not peace

No equality of either circumstances or genes,
finds mind-body-spirit in the driving seat,
hopefully making sure we take more right turns
than wrong, winding up in as good a place
as any, if not quite where we might have wished
to be, but nowhere and no one can be right
all the time, yet less of a crisis for any of us 
able to keep looking on the bright(er) side of life,
easier-said-than-done notwithstanding

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

 

A Life in the Day of a Tree

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“Human nature is not a machine to be built after a model, and set to do exactly he work prescribed for it, but a tree, which requires to grow and develop itself on all sides, according to the tendency of the inward forces that make it a living thing.” John Stuart Mill

 “The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness.” - John Muir

“It takes time for an acorn to turn into an oak, but he oak is already implied in the acorn.”- Alan Watts

“Storms make the oak grow deeper roots.” - George Herbert

“The axe always forgets. The tree remembers.” - Paulo Coelho

Predictably, I've had a few emails complaining, about a couple of recent poems. Reader, A G asks, “Who wants to read gay stuff on a general poetry blog?” Well, any lover of poetry will know that a poem has many layers, just like people. Does A G really believe that only LGBT folks are driven to live compartmental lives, to which not even kith and kin have access to all...?

Now, regular readers will know how I love trees…

A LIFE IN THE DAY OF A TREE

Once, we children would play 
in an old oak tree, stifling laughter
at the antics of passers-by…
now lovers, now friends, now strangers,
couples, singles, all sorts
from all walks of life taking the air,
unaware of our observing
every mind-body-spirit’s words and silences
likely to sharpen and shape us 

Oak leaves, anxiously whispering 
such facts and fictions as generations 
would make sport with us,
call it history, encourage scholars
to argue over, the rest of us
meant to take sides without losing tempers,
while simmering with rage
at page after page of political persuasiveness
further sharpening and shaping us 

Birds hover, only to fly away, fearful
of our presence, unaware we mean them
no harm, but, on the contrary
welcoming their cheeriness and beauty
into our consciousness
as trees worldwide have done, passing on
dreams of love and peace,
invoking the natural world since its first run-ins
with the cutting edges of humans

All grown old now, us kids, oak tree
older still, continuing to lend peeping eyes
and tongues mixed feelings,
yet to find a true voice or path to follow,
once starting to make sense
of such thoughts as cares ti share with us
before the world gets to impose
its own, providing powers that be time and space
to home in, sharpen and shape us

Yet, like a tree, the mind-body-spirit grows as it will,
no axe a match for heart-and soul

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

 

The Witch's Hat

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“To me, a witch is a woman that is capable of letting her intuition take hold of her actions, that communes with her environment, that isn't afraid of facing challenges.” - Paulo Coelho

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” – W. B. Yeats

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” - Marcus Aurelius

Now, as a child in the 1950’s one of the places I loved to visit, along with other kids on the street in Gillingham, Kent where we lived, was a park playground that had a Witch’s Hat roundabout, so-called for its conical shape;  it was banned in the 1980’’s on Health & Safety grounds. I

A favourite ride for children across the UK, a new ‘safer’ version of The Witch’s Hat can now be found at Wicksteed Park in Kettering.                                                   

                                                      Photo (c1950's) taken from the Internet

THE WITCH’S HAT

Singing on a witch’s hat,
eagerly scratching our initials,
to show we were here,
winging clouds and sailing seas, 
hoots of laughter driving
all four winds, magic of childhood
in the blood

Other roundabouts to try,
at world fairs no less likely to work 
their magic, but leaving us
feeling foolish, even taking fright 
at (eventually) sussing out  
its secrets, fuelling mind-body-spirit
with self-doubt

Round and round, again, 
only vaguely aware of killing time
in the wake of successes,
failures, safe houses letting us down,
disillusionment set to move in
till kinder life forces inspired to revisit
the witch’s hat

Midnight, owls in full flight
sounding out various human senses
even as they sleep,
winging happy memories, breathing
new life into mind-body-spirit,
an inspired motivation all but restored
in the blood

High noon, heart-and soul
a new dynamic, working its magic 
on us, having us engage
with hoots of owls as coos of doves
for clues to making the best
of past-present-futures as last seen sat 
on a witch’s hat

R. N. Taber, 2022

Lines on Nature

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“We say
This changes and that changes. Thus the constant
Violets, doves, girls, bees and hyacinths
Are inconstant objects of inconstant cause in a universe of inconstancy.” - Wallace Stevens

“Birds do not sing in caves, nor do doves cherish their innocence in dovecot.” - Henry David Thoreau

“Don't kill doves in the garden. You kill one and the others won't come.” - Malala Yousafzai

Now, I am often criticised for being critical of some world religions, especially those whose agendas are opposed to and even encourage certain prejudices LGBT+ folks and anyone else who cannot go along with its narrowminded perspectives on life. 

However, each to their own, and I can respect anyone for that; if they can equate the sense of spirituality their religion offers them with that same narrowmindedness, more’s the pity, but … so be it. There is, after all, much comfort to be had in the constancy of any religion, albeit dependant on our (constant) perception of it.

Now, many hearts around the world will be with the families of at least 19 children and 2 teachers massacred by a teenage gunman at an elementary school in Uvalde Texas just a few days ago. President Biden is not the first US president to demand a change in the country’s gun laws, but the gun lobby there is so strong that I suspect, yet again, little if anything will change. Meanwhile, yet another town is left dealing with unimaginable grief.

In times of overwhelming emotion, especially grief, many people turn to their religion for comfort. I get that, I really do, but have only ever found comfort in nature. 

Earth Mother has no hidden agenda, but is there for us all, from all walks of life, regardless of ethnicity, sexuality and whatever creed they may choose to follow. 

Me, I will stick with nature and continue to think of myself as a pantheist.

LINES ON NATURE

Happiness, among birds, trees
and creatures left to wander freely
such water, earth and seas
as would have them stay free to live
and die, but for certain forces in humanity
indifferent to cruelty

Spirituality, in the natural world
lending peace to any who seek it,
needing respite from ways
of humankind, inclined, to see itself
free to undermine nature’s every fine creation
for its duration

Beginnings, endings, grand finales,
facts or fictions, firing the imagination,
world religions and expectations
the world over, gut feelings made to run
for cover, confused, fearful - and where better 
than to nature…

Nature, its only agenda such peace
and quiet come to lend the human spirit
such perceptions as elude us
in the general rush of everyday forces
will challenge, divide us, tug us this way or that
and all for.…what?

Listen out, too, for a mourning dove,
sending a message from its leafy world,
giving thanks to Earth Mother
for sharing, serving its every heartbeat well.
not only in sunshine and misty rain, but passed on
to every human 

Happiness, among birds, trees
and creatures left to wander freely
such water, earth and seas
as urge that we, too, endeavour to stay true
to whatever past-present-future would hold us all,
heart-and-soul

As nature may give, take, yet restore as and when,
so shall mind-body-spirit come into its own…

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022