Echoes of a Season Past

ROGER TABER - POETRY READING
21 March 2017 – Part 2

From Roger’s friend, Graham

Greetings from autumnal Essex, UK,

I’m sharing the second part of Roger’s poetry reading. Again, I’ve embellished the recording with imagery (including the occasional cheeky pun). I’m grateful to the photographers who’ve shared their work (public domain license) on the Pixabay, Pexels and Unsplash websites. Wikimedia has also proven really helpful.

Here’s the link: https://youtu.be/hs3aTILOdtU. Or find it by searching ‘roger taber poetry’ in YouTube if you prefer.

I was reflecting on my previous comments about performance poetry being more expressive than printed form. How it reveals the intensity, passion and human frailty of the poet. And yet, conversely, a soundtrack could be interpreted as the author’s impressing of a particular perspective on his work. I wonder if poetry, art or music is really more about multiple viewpoints…? And written verse, perhaps, remains more accessible to those differing interpretations. Either way, I still think the recording adds an interesting facet to Roger’s published work.

The selection contains some personal favourites – ‘Suggestions’ and ‘The Poet’s Song’ among them. I read the latter at Roger’s funeral as part of a eulogy. Although it’s not sombre - rather a celebration of the artform. After all, ‘look on the bright side’ was his mantra. Even on his poetic postcards from the abyss.

Inevitably, the project has left me with a sense of retrospection. Roger died back in March last year although, for me at least, his presence lingers. His connection to the world endures somehow in a continuum of past-present-future. Like a pebble cast into water, his life-force resonates through a sea of time…

Memory’s warming embers ever glimmer in the shadow of grief.

Thanks for reading/listening.

G x

 

*  *  *

 

‘I am hopelessly in love with a memory. An echo from another time, another place.’
Michel Foucault

‘No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away.’
Terry Pratchett

‘As long as there are memories, yesterday remains. As long as there is hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as there is friendship, today is beautiful.’
Billy Joel

 

*  *  *

 

ROGER TABER - POETRY READING
Tuesday, 21 March 2017

PART 2

The Master Baiter
W-A-R, Crucible Of Remembrance
Spring Magic
Logging On To Life
Imagination, Painter Of Dreams or Masochist
National Trust Outing
Suggestions
Shades Of Comic Genius
Engaging With Nature or Living With Prostate Cancer
Patchwork
Ode To Apollo or Profile Of A Life-force
Heartbeat or Waking Up To The Power of Positive Thinking
Poems By Passing Clouds
The Poet’s Song
In Good Company

(CC) R. N. Taber 2017

Hi, Everyone, from London UK

Hi, Everyone, from London UK,

Sorry, no poem today as I am trying to load as many of my poems to a memory stick as I can, just in case the blog ever disappears.

In the past, UK poetry publishers have shown no interest in me because I make it clear that any published collection must include a gay section. My self-published collections proved popular, but the last one appeared in 2021' since then, I have been diagnosed with prostate cancer, had a bad fall that has left me with  mobility problems and have been having to cope while living on my own. I cope OK(ish), so no worries, but nothing gets easier as we grow older and I'm in my late 70's now.

As I have said on the blog before, in latter years, writing poetry has been as much by way of creative therapy than for pleasure; it helps me  manage thought processes and memory problems as a direct result of years of hormone therapy for my prostate cancer. So, I feel a need to write what I can, while I can and keep my poems in a safe place in case any publishers eventually show any real interest once I have passed away.

No one has ever appreciated just how much my poetry means to me and, yet again, a BIG thank you to you all, dear readers, for encouraging me by viewing my poems and sending emails from time to time.

Reader H H asks how many views this blog has had in total since I started writing it up about ten years ago. Currently, blogger statistics show 213,149 views; for a poetry blog, this is VERY encouraging, so you can understand why continuing it is so important to an oldie like me, from both a psychological and health point of view. The gay poetry blog statistics show a total of 160, 987 views, again, very encouraging.

Feedback suggests that more LGBT viewers dip into both blogs these days and I like to think it is because they are coming round to the point of view that poetry is for everyone, has something to say to everyone, intent on voicing a perspective on which the reader is invited to consider his or her own take. Whatever, food for thought is important; sadly, the pace of life these days means fewer people can make time enough for even that. 

When I stared blogging, I had been warned that a gay poetry blog would be unlikely to attract many readers and I was unable to find anything similar online, so...G-AY in the Subject Field took to pc screens worldwide. My having been sexually inactive for some years now, it may have  lost its initial momentum, but feedback suggests LGBT readers appreciate the encouragement my poems try to offer. (I spent too many years in a lonely closet to want the same for anyone who is led to believe there is something shameful, even sinful about sexual/ gender identity; neither is a choice, but who we are. 

It is a tragedy of our times that some family members, friends and religious communities continue to be guided by many misleading stereotypes propagated by the less enlightened. 

Nor is the sense of spirituality I have always felt any the less for my being gay. Encouragingly, most young people are more prepared to take others as they find them, without prejudging them for what they may have heard on this or that grapevine. (I suspect political correctness means well, but has proven far less effective than intended;. You cannot effectively legislate for a person's perspectives on life and people; it simply creates closets for any that need to be aired, challenged and modified. 

As for poetry, whether people like a poem or not is less important than they should consider how and why they feel about what it it has to say to the voice in which the poem speaks. (As regular readers well know, I have always championed the right to agree to differ...] RT 😉 

We are barely into 2023, yet violent criminal acts on the streets and behind closed doors are hitting the headlines already .Let us hope that Peace, Love and Understanding will eventually prevail worldwide, the darker side of human nature notwithstanding....!

Oh, and on the subject if headlines, I have been asked what I think of Prince Harry's revelations in his book, Spare. Well, I have no interest in reading it, not least because it is unlikely that other members of the Royal Family will respond and there are always two sides to every story. So, to coin a popular phrase, "No comment." 😉

I am working on a new poem, but slowly as I am not too well and old age is catching up with me. No point in crying over spilt milk, though so, yes, I continue to do my best to keep looking on the bright(er) side of life... even though a fog sometimes.😉

Take care, folks, keep safe and stay positive,

Hopefully, back soon with a new poem,

Hugs,

Roger

Starting Over

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.” – Henry David Thoreau

“The mind is its own place and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.” – John Milton

“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.” - Buddha

Now, overheard in a supermarket on Christmas Eve:

1st Person: “I so love this time of year. It’s so good to unwind, but it’s over too soon, and where are we then? I mean, where’s the excitement, the fun, in a whole new year stretching ahead that’s likely to stress us out all over again?”

2nd Person: “Life is what you make it. For my part, I love the feeling of starting all over again and being given the chance to put a few things right and be happy again. I can’t explain it, but it’s not a bad feeling, quite the opposite…”

I so empathised with that second person. Although I do not subscribe to any of the world religions, I am neither atheist or agnostic. Nature has always filled me with a sense of spirituality I cannot explain, even to myself. Maybe that’s why I write poetry, as an attempt to define the indefinable; not just a feeling, nor a religious faith, but a faith, no less. Whatever, it has seen me through some pretty bad times and some great times too. For better or worse, it has made of my life what, at surface level does not amount to much, but, a n ‘other’ self in me recognizes that it has been an incredible learning curve.

I guess it’s the same for everyone, although in my case it has taken 77+ years to even begin to understand what has to be, in no small part, the role of personal space in the overall meaning of life. As for hope, optimism, positive thinking - whatever we like to call it – maybe that, in turn is the role of the kind of faith that nature inspires in many of us?

For me, anyway, Spinoza’s sense of God and Nature being much of a one-ness, has seen me has seen me through more ups and downs of life to my late 70’s…and I suspect hasn’t finished with me quite yet. So, a new chapter looming in the shape of a new year, is scary, but curiously exciting one. 

Who knows that lies ahead for any of us? We can but trust that still, small voice that goes by whatever name we choose, whatever our personal space learns to feels OK with…? Having grown in the bigoted 1950’s, is it any wonder that it took me until my 30’s to listen to mine and tell the world I’m gay…?

STARTING OVER

End of another year looming,
a global consciousness continuing to plead 
for peace and goodwill
to take root in the hearts of warmongers
in high places left swivelling
on comfy chairs in plush, warm home zones,
rehearsing a Rhetoric of Peace
along with political ends, in keeping with a faux morality
that haunts a weary humanity

End of another year looming,
a global consciousness continuing to hope
for kinder times ahead
on the backs of the quick and the dead
left grieving losses, asking questions,
looking for answers where angels fear to tread
lest they encounter lost souls 
asking the way to a safe house heard tell of called Heaven,
Peace of Mind, second to none

End of another year looming,
mind-body-spirit busy working out
how best to survive;
in or lose, resolving to understand
just who we are
by the end of it all (one way or another) 
not least for listening, believing
in each other, and lending a helping hand, ear, eye, whatever.;
life force, human endeavour

Heart-and-soul preparing to get the better of our flaws again;
mind-body-spirit of being human

Copyright R. N. Taber. 2022

[Note: This post-poem also appears on my gay poetry blog today.] RT

 

Hello Everyone, from London UK

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Faith is a passionate intuition.” - William Wordsworth  

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.” - Martin Luther King, Jr. 

“Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking.” - Khalil Gibran

“The belief that one's own view of reality is the only reality is the most dangerous of all delusions”. - Paul Watzlawick

Now, it is the day before Christmas wherever the birth of Jesus Christ is celebrated; a time, too, to reflect on just what any religious faith means to us, both personally and universally.

As regular readers will know, I consider myself a pantheist. Pantheists believe that God is nature.

Why do I think this way? I have no idea, except that I could never relate to a personified God, yet whenever I have engaged closely with nature, I have always experienced a sense of spirituality which I had always associated with religion, although religion had never given me access to the same experience; a very intimate experience, I should add.

No one person’s perspective on life, faith, whatever, will ever be quite the same, not least because we are all different.  That is not to say that one or other perspective is right or wrong, simply an integral part of who we are. 

Me, I find various religious dogma too prescriptive and often incompatible with my perspective on life as all-embracing, all-inclusive; no excluding anyone on the basis of gender, sexual identity, walk of life etc. Humanity thrives on our differences, differences we need to accept and respect. Religious leaders profess to agree, yet their dogma argues differently. Accordingly, many of their followers may argue differently too.

As regular readers will also be very aware, I am very much in favour of agreeing to differ in a spirit of peace and love, not the kind of divisiveness that causes, families to estrange, nations to declare war. <<wry bardic grin>>

Sadly, human nature is such that we often find ourselves caught on either side of various divides, that cannot or will not see where each is coming from, cannot or will not bring themselves to communicate and even try to understand and find common ground.

Human nature itself is complex, confusing, invariably expected to explain itself, when our actions cannot always be explained away; feelings are not necessarily the same as motives and do not lend themselves easily to the vocabulary of reason. From early years, we are taught that to understand ourselves and each other we need to be insightful as to what motivates, even justifies certain actions.  Yet, as the quotations above suggest, there are elements within all of us that even we, ourselves, are at pains to explain away.

Anyway, enough of my amateurish attempt to explain my deeper sentiments from which has evolved an all-inclusiveness that I try to inject into many of my poems. How far I succeed or not is up to the reader to decide.😉

It is Christmas Eve and, in the Spirit of Christmas, I want to thank you all for looking in on my blog posts and poems, it means a lot to me.

All that remains, for now, is to wish you all safe, well and hopeful always. Sadly, the ways of the world and human nature are such that this is not always the case. Even so, we can but keep looking on the bright(er) side of life and do our best to spread happiness, comfort and joy along the way; rarely easy, yet we can but try.

Whether we celebrate Christmas or not (I don’t) may the spirit of Christmas - one of hope, peace and kindness - be with us all.

Oh, and yes, I am working on a new poem, so do drop by again soon.

Take care, folks, whoever and wherever you are.

Hugs,

Roger

[Note: This post-poem also appears on my gay poetry blog today.] RT

PS Many thanks to those readers who take the trouble to point out any print or spelling errors in some of my poems; I always take note, re-read the poem as it appears on the screen and make any necessary amendments.

Bells, Messaging the Spirit of Christmas

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Christmas… is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.” - Dale Evans

“If there are occasions when my grape turned into a raisin and my joy bell lost its resonance, please forgive me. Charge it to my head and not to my heart.” - Jesse Jackson

“Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind.” – ‘Kris Kringle’ in the movie, Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.” - ‘Scrooge’ in Stave 4 of  A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

“The temple bell stops but I still hear the sound coming out of the flowers.” - Matsuo Basho

During my first winter term at Junior School, (some 70 years ago…oo-err!) a teacher asked what we most enjoy at Christmas. “Presents, sir!", more than half the class yelled. One boy simply put his hand up. When the teacher indicated for him to speak, he said, “I enjoy it because people are much nicer and kinder.” “A good point,” said the teacher with feeling, “I daresay many people would agree with you about other religious festivals as well…” He then changed the subject, but I wasn’t the only one left reflecting on his words… 😉 

As regular readers know, I became as disillusioned with most religious leaders and world religions as with most  politicians and world politics generally over the years, and now think of myself as a Pantheist. 

Now, having written and enjoyed reading poetry for as long as I can remember, I have tried to write a Poem for Christmas that reflects the common spirit of world religions, an all-embracing inclusiveness often found wanting in the interpretation of various dogma associated with them. And, no, I do not exclude Christianity. 

Although I respect anyone’s religious Beliefs, I reserve the right (as regular readers will also know) to agree to differ…

BELLS, MESSAGING THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS

Bells! Ringing out the same message
over centuries of fear
and pain, ringing out yet again
to remind the world
of such love and peace for all souls
striving, even fighting 
for peace of mind, but wishful thinking 
among any made to suffer hate and hypocrisy
poisoning a common humanity

They know, the bells, and feel our pain
as and when we struggle
to rise above it all, find peace and love
within each other,
endeavour to let the world know, for all 
its many differences,
that 'Love rules OK' and will find a way
to make its presence plainly and believably told,
no LGBT folks, left out in the cold

Hear the joyful sound of Christmas bells,
sending a message 
of peace, hope, love and goodwill 
to a common humanity,
men, women and children, no exceptions
for gender, ethnicity 
or sexual identity, celebrating heart-and-soul
of You-Me-Us by drawing on its multiple voices,
addressing the Spirit of Christmas

It's an all-inclusive You-Me-Us, a new generation,
acknowledging the kinder side of being human

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: This post-poem also appears on my gay-interest poetry blog today.] RT

Potential for a Love Story OR The Eyes Have It

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Love has no gender - compassion has no religion - character has no race.” - Abhijit Naskar, Either Civilised or Phobic: A Treatise on Homosexuality 

“Love him and let him love you. Do you think anything else under heaven really matters?” – James Baldwin

“Equality means more than passing laws. The struggle is really won in the hearts and minds of the community, where it really counts.” – Barbara Gittings

“Sexuality is one of the ways in which we become enlightened, actually, because it leads to self-knowledge – Alice Walker”

Now, it was a lay preacher who first defined ‘gay’ for me as “A person who not only sees no sin in being physically attracted to their own gender, but dares to justify any such relationship by suggesting it is a mutually consensual experiment in love. Love, of course, plays no part in it. It’s but an excuse for casual sex which, even between opposite genders is only ever at best, a selfish act, at worst, a sin.”

“But what if the couple concerned really do fall in love?” I wanted to know.

“Are you deaf, or something,” he snapped testily, there is no such thing as falling in love with someone of your own sex. Love them, yes, by all means, but platonically, not in a physical sense.” Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do…”

Even at the age of 11, ‘pompous ass’ was the first phrase that sprung to mind as I watched him go.

It was the 1950’s. My mind continued to dwell on that conversation even before I realised I was gay myself. So prevalent and widely accepted was such prejudice towards gay folks in those days, that I felt unable to confide in anyone.

As regular readers will know, it would be another twenty years before I felt strong enough to share my secret with the world, but not before falling in love with a potential partner for life who was killed in a car accident that sent me scurrying back into a lonely closet.

Fewer people these days are intimidated by religious objections to a person’s sexuality and are more inclined to take others as they find them and play any potential friendship by ear.

Now, some readers may well be interested in the revised edition of Odd Men Out by John-Pierre Joyce, Manchester University Press, 2022. It charts the history of gay men in 1950’s and 1960’s Britain, but I suspect gay men everywhere, from all walks of life, will be able to relate to it, not least because homophobia remains rampant across the world, not least due to the narrowmindedness and sheer hypocrisy of various religions.

POTENTIAL FOR A LOVE STORY or THE EYES HAVE IT

As he turned from his window
on the world below,
his gaze rested briefly on me,
and in that moment,
we strangers acknowledged
the prison from which
we so longed to go free to enjoy
such venial pleasures, for better or worse
as would see us embrace

He left the room without a word,
intuitively, I followed;
sooner, rather than later, we knew
we would be acting out
a beautiful dream acknowledged
under cover of silence,
bringing us together to revel
in such carnal delights as we would share,
for laying our souls bare

Better bare than clothed in hypocrisies
constantly insisting
we are committing various sins
of the flesh, sure to see us
in a hell of our own construction 
for denying the edicts
of religions dating back centuries,
ostensibly expressions of love and peace,
except for You-Me-Us

I am that desire-of-the-flesh-become-reality,
transcending a potential love story

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022 

[Note: Several straight friends insisted I publish this post-poem on both poetry blogs today. Who am I to argue...?]

 

An Empathy with Nature (3)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.” - George Orwell

“If freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.” -George Washington

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.” - Charlotte Brontë  

"The moment you say that any ides is sacred, whether it's a religious belief or secular ideology, the moment you declare a set of ideas to be immune from criticism, satire, derision or contempt, freedom of thought becomes impossible. - Salman Rushdie

“Human nature is not a machine to be built after a model, and set to do exactly he work prescribed for it, but a tree, which requires to grow and develop itself on all sides, according to the tendency of the inward forces that make it a living thing.” John Stuart Mill

Now, the recent attempted murder of Sir Salman Rushdie an active supporter of free speech has shocked the free-thinking world

The Indian-born Briton, whose novel The Satanic Verses led to death threats from Iran in the 1980s, was about to deliver a lecture at the Chautauqua Institution in New York state, when his attacker leapt on stage and stabbed him.

Fortunately, it has been reported that Sir Salman is no longer on a ventilator and is able to speak, although it is possible that he may have sustained potentially life-changing injuries as a result of the attack on Friday.  

Free expression and a personal space which embraces a sense of spirituality, whatever our religious or secular beliefs, deserve to be seen as mutually inclusive. I see it as the bottom line in the argument for agreeing to differ, on which most if not all my poetry posts are based.

AN AFFINITY WITH NATURE (3)

Humanity is all-embracing
where ‘all’ includes you-me-us 
in any language, culture
and creed, a worthy heads-up 
to freedom of expression
and a sense of no holds barred,
in such walks of life
and corners of an ever-sickening world
where denied the last word

Fear of losing kith and kin,
has never been reason enough
to hide behind any lie
or threat even love may feel
called upon to impose, adopting
a false persona,
for an only-human need to be seen
betraying neither native beliefs nor ideals
incumbent on heart-and-souls

Life was a closet -prison,
no escape, till I found someone
to listen to me
(non-judgementally) sensing
my pain and insecurity
as a human being, no awful stereotype
conjured up by society
to conceal its ignorance, put its shame to rout
for failing LGBT+ folks coming out

Call me Redemption, author of my own salvation,
if only for taking the edge off being human...?

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: This post-poem also appears on my gay-interest poetry blog today.] RT

An Empathy with Nature (2)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” – Albert Camus

“Human nature is not a machine to be built after a model, and set to do exactly he work prescribed for it, but a tree, which requires to grow and develop itself on all sides, according to the tendency of the inward forces that make it a living thing.” John Stuart Mill

“The temple bell stops, but I still hear the sound coming out of the flowers.” - Matsuo Basho

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is the temple. The philosophy is kindness.” Dalai Lama

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou

The idea or metaphor of the human body as a temple isn’t exclusive to any religion, can also be found in various religious texts. One example is fasting, practiced in order to grow closer to some divine life force by distancing oneself from worldly dependencies, such as food and other pleasures. 

Sadly, this very distancing can encourage a degree of separatism within various societies / communities worldwide, where the art of agreeing to differ is more likely to light the flames of aggression than any candles of peace among those members who are (understandably if not always appropriately) more concerned with driving home their own point of view than agreeing to differ. 

Our sexuality is an expression of who, not what we are; for sure, it is not an attack on the temple of the human body since we are born this way; it is not a choice. The only choice is whether or not we feel encouraged to express it and look the world in the eye as we do so.

As regular readers of both my poetry blogs (my fiction blog too) will know, I was in my early 30’s before I finally emerged from the closet that had been my prison since I first realised I was gay at the age of 14 years (during what were overtly homophobic 1950’s here in the UK.).

60+ years on, I’d have hoped for a much kinder world, any perceived ‘differences’ regarding gender, ethnicity, culture or religion seen as making a positive contribution to a common humanity and welcomed as such. It is good to see this happening, especially among young people around the world, many if not most of whom deserve better than the awful prospect of being made to feel rejected - intentionally or not - by kith and kin.

AN EMPATHY WITH NATURE (2)

Some abuse me, say I sin
whose faith would condemn me
to serve a life sentence
for finding my own way, not theirs,
accessing a sense
of spirituality reflecting the real me,
(yes, warts 'n all);
no copycat stereotype, me, for a spirituality
that lets me BE

Consider mind-body-spirit
a temple to life forces, both worldly
and divine? In the latter
we can trust its promises to fulfil,
by way of heart-and-soul in good time;
i any other we can but hope
our judgement not in error, or else
we have but ourselves to blame, no comfort
 in hindsight…

Given life, a learning curve
my kind would do well to climb,
grow wiser to home truths,
give its kinder voices a say for the sake
of a common good,
respect various differences of opinion,
in all corners of society;
no life force has a monopoly on the humanity
that lets us BE 

Call me Sacrilege, in this heaven-and-hell world
where Peace so needs to have the last word…?

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: this post appears on both my gay and general poetry blogs.]

 

An Empathy with Nature (1)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Love has no gender - compassion has no religion - character has no race.” - Abhijit Naskar, [Either Civilized or Phobic: A Treatise on Homosexuality]

“Human nature is not a machine to be built after a model, and set to do exactly he work prescribed for it, but a tree, which requires to grow and develop itself on all sides, according to the tendency of the inward forces that make it a living thing.” John Stuart Mill

“In terms of sex between same-sex partners, the objection that "the parts don't fit" doesn’t make sense on even the most logical level. If the parts didn't work together, frankly, people wouldn't be putting them together.” -  Kathy Baldock [Walking the Bridgeless Canyon: Repairing the Breach Between the Church and the LGBT Community]

“Our common humanity is more important than all the things that divide us.” – Mairead Corrigan

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Now, as regular readers will know, some years ago, I began writing a trilogy, the title of each volume to be Blasphemy, Sacrilege and Redemption; it was never finished. I had been given to understand that an American publisher would publish it, but it transpired that he was only interested in breaking into the UK market. When Blasphemy failed to comply, he lost interest in any companion volumes.

Although I had already written Sacrilege, no UK publishers expressed any interest in a gay-interest trilogy. Moreover, a very rude letter from the American publisher, making fun of my self-publishing logo, “Assembly Books” left me loath to complete the trilogy. He clearly had no sense of irony which, regrettably, I took to heart at the time.

Later, I published Sacrilege along with Blasphemy and my other novels on my fiction blog, but was already having to deal with health issues that, dissuaded me from writing Redemption.

Why Blasphemy-Sacrilege-Redemption? The enduring hope was to get across the idea that any form of prejudice is a blasphemy, just as physically and/ or emotionally abusing LGBT+ folks is a sacrilege and our ability to rise above it and come together in peace and love with the blessing of friends and family (gay or straight, kith and kin alike) is nothing short of a redemption. 

For my own part, those early closet years were a living death, nor ever have I felt so alive as when I felt the full force of mind-body-spirit prompting me to to get real and come out. 

Subscribers to conventional religions may well take offence; none intended, though, as my only intention has ever been to endorse the Human Right to differ. Besides, any religious argument that  God is Love loses credence in the face of any form of prejudice within the framework of a common humanity. Me, I consider myself a Pantheist, a feeling for God as nature rather than its creator, having always felt a closer affinity and sense of spirituality with nature. 

As in all matters across the human landscape, we cannot expect to always accept or even understand some of the choices people make, simply respect them as we respect theirs, not cause dispute and irreparable division, especially in matters of the heart. No one should be made to feel a sinner, whatever their religion, for staying true to their native sexuality; nor, I imagine, would any God of Love judge us so.

Regular readers of any or all of my blogs will know that agreeing to differ, rather than fighting over whatever, it is a matter close to my heart.

So…such is the background to a proposed trilogy of poems,  Am Empathy with Nature (1), (2) and (3) of which the first appears below.

Now, I hope to complete (2) and (3) within a few weeks, but have to confess that health issues are proving a hindrance to just about everything I attempt at the moment, so there may be some delay.

Each poem will also appear on my gay poetry blog. Doubtless, some readers here will complain that my  Gay/ LGBT+- interest poems should be restricted to that blog, but a poem has something to say to everyone, just as prejudice is inclined to raise its ugly head anywhere and everywhere.

 AN EMPATHY WITH NATURE (1)

Some abuse me, say I sin
whose faith would condemn me 
to serve a life sentence,
prisoner of heart-and-soul,
unable to break free,
give the real me an opportunity
to be as faces in the moon
haunt my days, assure me night after night,
that no wrong could feel so right

No conventional religion
would concede me the spirituality
my imagination feeds on,
taking my cue from earth, sea and sky,
all things bright ad beautiful,
creatures great and small, like candles
to love-hope-peace, lessons
for the learning in nature and human nature,
to embrace, pas on, nurture

No true love can be a sin,
regardless of whatever any religion
might have to say,
nor yearning flesh to yearning flesh,
whatever gender, but set on
giving the poetry of mind-body-spirit
a voice; no ego calling,
only a spirituality made fearful of rejection
by strictures on kith and kin

It well may be that home
is where heart-and-soul comes alive,
leaving doubts and fears
for the love of one above all others;
yet, love is ever plural,
has room aplenty for family and friends,
whose love and understanding
may yet be still relied upon as freely given;
such is the art of being human

Call me Blasphemy, in a heaven-and-hell world
where Bigotry so loves to have the last word...?

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

Bits and Pieces

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” -  Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.” – James Thurber

“Bitterness is kike cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns all clean.” Maya Angelou

“Where once estrangement has arisen between those who truly love each other, everything seems to widen the breach.” – Mary Elizabeth Braddon

“Nothing is as good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” – William Shakespeare

Now. kith and kin fall out all the time, often the closer for falling back in again. But something and someone has to give, at least try to put bits and pieces back where they belong. Easy enough, when everyone shares the same insight, but insight can become worn, even flawed if left in bits and pieces for too long. 

The old saying goes that ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ – but like many old sayings, is little more than wishful thinking, depending on why the absences, whose hearts and just how much it matters to all concerned in terms of peace of mind.  Sometimes we don’t try hard enough to secure the latter, or our efforts are discouraged and/or misinterpreted. 

I guess, there’s more wisdom in old sayings than aspires to meet the eye or move the tongue, such as:  ‘There’s no point in crying over spilt milk,’ – but that, too, depends on where spilt, how much, and are we prepared to wipe it up ourselves of leave it to whom we assume responsible?

No easy answers, but if it’s a question we are asking of ourselves, the chances are we need to put our personal space to rights, one way or another, the sooner the better.

BITS AND PIECES

We parted long ago,
haven’t crossed paths for years,
you, assuming why
I fell so short of expectations,
making assumptions, always safer
than asking questions

Ask not, fear not
any answers that might close in
on certain home truths,
best avoided in case tempted
to look to closely at a you-me-us
left in bits and pieces

Blame me as much 
as you will, but it requires two
to dance a tango,
watching others wondering 
why we don't care to take the floor,
nothing there anymore?

Nothing comes of nothing, nor could,
but for asking why we never did

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

Keyword, Pride

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber  

 “What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it’s curved like a road through mountains.” - Tennessee Williams

“Love demands expression. It will not stay still, stay silent, be good, be modest, be seen and not heard, no. It will break out in tongues of praise, the high note that smashes the glass and spills the liquid.” — Jeanette Winterson

 “Personally, coming out was one of the most important things I’ve ever done, lifting from my shoulders the millstone of lies that I hadn’t even realized I was carrying.” – Sir Ian McKellan

“I’m living by example by continuing on with my career and having a full, rich life, and I am incidentally gay.” - Portia de Rossi

Now, today celebrates fifty years of Pride, LGBT+ folks defying the prejudices of certain world societies and religions to demonstrate a sense of pride and spirituality in being human, nor any less so for their sexuality.

As regular readers know, I am in my mid-seventies and, like many others around the world, having to deal with various health issues as well as those that too often accompany the process of growing old(er).  I cope ok(ish), but suspect that I could not have done so had I not eventually seen my way to turning my back on the multiple, offensive faux stereotypes that attempted to define us when I was growing up in the 1950’s. I regret waiting too long to look the world in the eye as a gay mam, but... better late than never.

Tragically, for various socio-cultural reasons, many LGBT+ folks around the world still feel obliged to endure the appalling loneliness and pain of a closet existence.

Coming out of that closet, made me a better person, but not before it had wrought such psychological damage on me that, even now, continues to inflict such nightmares from time to time as I would not wish on anyone, anywhere.

KEYWORD, PRIDE

Drawn to a bar
neither gay not straight,
all-comers welcome,
a pint of beer calling me
I could not ignore,
a growing need for company
at the heart of me

Soon, engaging
with a stranger, not strangers
for long, but chatting
like old friends, laughing
over trite anecdotes,
welcome respite after a long day,
let slip, I was gay

Misreading his look
of surprise, a sense of déjà vu,
hackles set to rise
but for friendly lips breaking
into a wry, sensual grin,
makings of a non-judgemental
heart-and soul

“How long?” he asked
quietly, but with as casual an air
as if he'd been asking
if I’d had a good day at the office;
I felt my face turning red,
yet urged to answer the truth of it
by mind-body-spirit

“None of my business,"
it was his turn to admit, “but more
than curious if you get
my drift…?  " I merely shrugged,
ventured a shy grin;
we chatted on, twin passions invoking
mutual understanding

Lovers, exploring a braver new world,
keyword, Pride…

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: This poem-post also appears on my G-A-Y poetry blog today] RT

"This 'n' That": Pillow Talk

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"A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow." - Charlotte Brontë

"We are such stuff/ as dreams are made on; / and our little life/ is rounded so with sleep." - William Shakespeare (The Tempest)

"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty." - Mahatma Gandhi

Some readers may be interested in the history of today’s poem in so far as it bares little resemblance to my first effort, apart from its main theme/s, which I lost when my pc crashed just as I was in the process of slightly revising it! 

Now...a reader has emailed to say that, like me, he is in his late 70’s, has prostate cancer, taking stock of his life and wondering “…just what the hell it has all been for.” 

Well, only he can answer that one, but I cannot believe it of anyone that they haven’t had good times as well as bad, heavenly moments as well as hellish ones. Me, I try to focus on certain heavenly moments whenever I find myself ‘taking stock’... and trust they may define me more credibly than the latter.

Meanwhile Russia continues its war on Ukraine, despite huge losses among the ranks of both aggressor and defender, while the West does its best to appear supportive of the latter by supplying arms as well as rhetoric without  provoking  Vladimir Putin and his supporters into a potentially WW111 situation.

As the old truism goes, hope springs eternal… wry bardic grin7

"THIS 'N'THAT": PILLOW TALK

“Why, this, that, who and - whatever?
Such are questions we may well often ask
of mind-body-spirit, time and again,
so anxious for answers, feeling let down
for getting none, merely alternatives
to sift through and see if we can discover
some, at least, for comfort’s sake
if not as great a peace of mind as we’d hoped,
enough, though, to quieten our pillows

In the springtime of our years, innocence
shielding us from such the ways of the world
as likely to confuse, even abuse us
as we pass through its seasons, now enjoying
feelings of all but touching the sky
on a playground swing, now free to laugh
at the ups and downs of a see-saw,
only vaguely relating such delight to any doubts
imposed by nature and human nature

Ours seasons pass, various thrills and spills
of maturity likely making indelible impressions
on the very character of any heart-and-soul,
still asking much the same questions
of a mind-body-spirit, left feeling no less let down
for such answers as our personal space alone
needs must sift through a history of mixed feelings,
home in on joys of love and peace
reconciling with, atoning for, even forgiving

No abstract notion of ‘fate’ defines humanity
more than a capacity for divining such home truths
as will (invariably) direct or misdirect us
through its maze, sins and blessings according
to this or that agenda as drawn up
by society or community, politics or religion
for all we are, a veritable hotchpotch
of passions, arguing needs to keep up appearances,
rushing to judgements, making war, not peace

No equality of either circumstances or genes,
finds mind-body-spirit in the driving seat,
hopefully making sure we take more right turns
than wrong, winding up in as good a place
as any, if not quite where we might have wished
to be, but nowhere and no one can be right
all the time, yet less of a crisis for any of us 
able to keep looking on the bright(er) side of life,
easier-said-than-done notwithstanding

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

 

A Nature Lover's Dream

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they’re still beautiful.” - Alice Walker

“Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.” - Khalil Gibran

“Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.”- Henry David Thoreau

As a child, I had to attend Sunday School at the local Baptist Church. I once asked the pastor why trees had to die in winter. “It’s a time’s eye view of life…” he replied and went on to explain; I would have been about ten and the phrase has stayed with for the best part of sixty60+ years although I have never heard it again. Mind you, as regular readers know, I have had significant hearing problems all my life, so… wry bardic grin

I already had a problem with conventional religion even then and suspect it was during that very conversation that I began my journey into Pantheism, although it would be many years before I even came across the word... 

A NATURE LOVER'S DREAM

There is a mountain,
I would have climbed if I could,
if only to stand
on its splendid snow-capped peak
be lord of all I survey;
spirit willing, but flesh weakened 
by fear and self-doubt,
even as it embraced mind-body-spirit
day and night, year in, year out

I’d visit the mountain,
gaze in awe at its magnificence,
envy climbers
with the courage and determination
to achieve their goal,
only ever vaguely aware of the earth
beneath my feet,
a breeze in my hair, birdsong everywhere,
asking only that I but look-see-hear

To reach the mountain,
I had first to negotiate woodlands,
the snowy peak,
my guide. my passion a life force in me,
reasoning not the need,
fuelling imagination with a desperation
vying for my every heartbeat
where I chanced to fall on a carpet of grass
in a cathedral of leaves

Once, I lay there awhile,
listening to a choir of wildlife sounds 
washing over me
like a light, sweet-smelling seasonal rain
watched butterflies,
heard crickets chirping, sat up to glimpse
a fallow deer peering at me
through a veil of leaves, a curious empathy
bonding us all too briefly

Slowly I found my feet again,
loath to leave so beautiful and natural
a creation, a heaven
of sensibility on earth, hand in glove 
with Earth Mother;
above, below, within, heart-and-soul 
delivering an epiphany,
conveying the presence of a live' spirituality
quantifying all humanity

Less fearful now of Time’s eye, even death,
for being promised to the earth

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

 

Secrets

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

"The deepest hunger in life is a secret that is revealed only when a person is willing to unlock a hidden part of the self." – Deepak Chopra

"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.” – Paul Tournier

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new". – Socrates

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." - Buddha

Few contemporary religions believe that homosexuality has a place in the community.  History, though, has a habit of suggesting otherwise. Ancient carvings worldwide have been recovered to show men and women having homosexual sex. 

Now, the homophobes among us may argue that civilization has progressed since then, but progress is a matter of opinion and, as a gay man and poet, I am inclined, in all conscience, to agree with the Buddha. 

Mind you, for many among us, our thoughts are invariably manipulated, for better or worse, by various faux stereotypes as created - either knowingly or otherwise - by such powers that be that, in turn, feel motivated to manipulate and welcome the thoughts of others into a singular narrow-mindedness that may well last a lifetime, but for...a steadily growing, enlightening relationship with nature?

SECRETS

Even a watery sun on a winter’s day
can lighten a burdened heart
inspiring even complete strangers
to exchange smiles
like secret lovers refusing kith and kin
so much as a look-in,
engaging in the sheer ecstasy 
of being alive, before the world gets to pelt us
with its spurious ideas

Summer, leafy buds of spring open
to such joie de vivre 
as only they know for their engaging
with nature and human nature
acknowledging both the best and worst
in one another, like secrets
shared and hopefully worked through
to such ends as may well cast caution to the wind
in the face of humankind

Love, whether for person, place, pet
or, better still, all three,
homing us in on a spirituality regarded
by some with suspicion
for not obviously engaging with the politics
of religion for having less trust in it
than perceived as necessary 
for any such mind-body-spirit as perceived worthy
of a common humanity

Ah, but there is a spirituality of thought
independent of historical agendas 
drawn up with the best of such intentions, 
aspiring to improve quality 
of human life, bring us peace of mind, 
within sure boundaries expressed
by moving fingers having writ, yet not
moved on as every Here-and-Now asks and expects
of each You-Me-Us

It’s in a proven adaptability to change 
(or not, as the case may well be)
that humanity needs must acknowledge
to rise above its worst fears,
cease to take them out on those who appear
to fall short of such expectations
as moving fingers aspiring to engage us all
with mixed interpretations of nature
and human nature, invoking a common source in both
to… endure

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

[Note: this post-poem also appears on my gay-interest poetry blog today.] RNT

Lines on Nature

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“We say
This changes and that changes. Thus the constant
Violets, doves, girls, bees and hyacinths
Are inconstant objects of inconstant cause in a universe of inconstancy.” - Wallace Stevens

“Birds do not sing in caves, nor do doves cherish their innocence in dovecot.” - Henry David Thoreau

“Don't kill doves in the garden. You kill one and the others won't come.” - Malala Yousafzai

Now, I am often criticised for being critical of some world religions, especially those whose agendas are opposed to and even encourage certain prejudices LGBT+ folks and anyone else who cannot go along with its narrowminded perspectives on life. 

However, each to their own, and I can respect anyone for that; if they can equate the sense of spirituality their religion offers them with that same narrowmindedness, more’s the pity, but … so be it. There is, after all, much comfort to be had in the constancy of any religion, albeit dependant on our (constant) perception of it.

Now, many hearts around the world will be with the families of at least 19 children and 2 teachers massacred by a teenage gunman at an elementary school in Uvalde Texas just a few days ago. President Biden is not the first US president to demand a change in the country’s gun laws, but the gun lobby there is so strong that I suspect, yet again, little if anything will change. Meanwhile, yet another town is left dealing with unimaginable grief.

In times of overwhelming emotion, especially grief, many people turn to their religion for comfort. I get that, I really do, but have only ever found comfort in nature. 

Earth Mother has no hidden agenda, but is there for us all, from all walks of life, regardless of ethnicity, sexuality and whatever creed they may choose to follow. 

Me, I will stick with nature and continue to think of myself as a pantheist.

LINES ON NATURE

Happiness, among birds, trees
and creatures left to wander freely
such water, earth and seas
as would have them stay free to live
and die, but for certain forces in humanity
indifferent to cruelty

Spirituality, in the natural world
lending peace to any who seek it,
needing respite from ways
of humankind, inclined, to see itself
free to undermine nature’s every fine creation
for its duration

Beginnings, endings, grand finales,
facts or fictions, firing the imagination,
world religions and expectations
the world over, gut feelings made to run
for cover, confused, fearful - and where better 
than to nature…

Nature, its only agenda such peace
and quiet come to lend the human spirit
such perceptions as elude us
in the general rush of everyday forces
will challenge, divide us, tug us this way or that
and all for.…what?

Listen out, too, for a mourning dove,
sending a message from its leafy world,
giving thanks to Earth Mother
for sharing, serving its every heartbeat well.
not only in sunshine and misty rain, but passed on
to every human 

Happiness, among birds, trees
and creatures left to wander freely
such water, earth and seas
as urge that we, too, endeavour to stay true
to whatever past-present-future would hold us all,
heart-and-soul

As nature may give, take, yet restore as and when,
so shall mind-body-spirit come into its own…

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

 

A Little Life Music

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Music gives a soul to he universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything.” - Plato

Music acts like a magic key. To which the most tightly closed hearts open.” – Maria von Trapp

“The only thing better than singing is more singing.” – Ella Fitzgerald

Now, why you may well ask, am I writing up a poem-post about the joy of music when I can’t play an instrument, sing a note and have lived with a significant degree of deafness all my life? 

Good question, that. The short answer is that am always listening to favourite music and songs playing in my head; especially when I am feeling sad, lonely or scared enough for self-pity to take me to the very edge of The Abyss. Music reminds me why I shouldn’t jump. Oh, I’ve been pushed many a time, and fallen. But, who hasn’t, by giant shadows that mean us ill?  

Yet, even while falling, I’d hear sounds of music in my head returning me to terra-firma, if only to start living, learning and listening all over again…

A LITTLE LIFE MUSIC

My cap hides less hair than it did,
as well as mixed feelings, running riot
from time to time
when not invoking a passion for any music,
poetry or rhyme sure to give
savage breast and unquiet mind a welcome rest
from trying to reason after-shocks
of pleasure-pain imposed by its own and the world’s
least concealed flaws

Music, may well be the food of love,
left to play on even in the face of rejection,
human nature least inclined
to see a willow for its branches, falling
like tears for times hearts
all but broken by attributing such meaning
to feelings within as first
lit its fires, fanned its flames, only to have it all but die
without understanding why 

Mind-body-spirit thrives to the sound
of music, no matter how its life forces presented,
by humankind or Earth Mother,
amateur or professional, a confessional
of sorts where heart-and soul
may well fear to go, dreading what it may uncover
in such recesses as it may yet nurture,
while struggling to keep all but hidden even from itself;
mixed feelings on a lonely shelf

Yet, even the saddest heart-and-soul can
learn to sing again, to a little life music composed
in kinder times by friendly ghosts,
now lending it huff and puff enough to revive
half-forgotten dreams,
leading us, in turn, to doors closed to us far too long,
pleading we fling them open, let music
back in, in time to see the willow weep such tears of light,
as no darkness can ever snuff out

Though insight deflected by brilliant sunshine or heavy rain,
trust a little life music to see its way clear again…

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

Conversations OR Q & A

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Apologies to new reader, Y F, - who tells me he is bisexual - for not adding gay-specific poem-posts to my gay poetry blog as often as I add general-interest pieces to this one. (Similarly, there is both  general (fantasy) and gay fiction on my fiction blog.) As I have said here before, though, I find it hard to write any poems these days, given a continuing battle against various health issues, including the kind of mental stress that years of hormone therapy for my prostate cancer has imposed in recent years; as if having to contend with the ever-present threat of Covid-19 and variants hasn’t imposed stress enough on all of us… 

Writing as well as reading poetry is not only great creative therapy, it is a welcome distraction from our own trials and tribulations as well as those dominating various world landscapes...! The same can be said for any form of creative therapy, of course , whether it be arts forms, dressmaking, gardening... whatever... and can achieve a far greater sense of well-being than any medicines.

Now, email feedback suggests, Y F, that many LGBT readers now dip into both poetry blogs, so if you have an interest in poetry for its own sake, you might want to do the same as well as browsing the archives of either or both blogs? 

On the principle that a poem is a poem is a poem - regardless of content - this post-poem will appear on both poetry blogs today. Now and then, the occasional reader will complain when I do this, but it can do no harm, surely, to remind some heterosexually biased readers that a person is a person is a person too…? It is a sad indictment on the 21st century that anyone should need reminding, and good to see many straight young people, from all walks of life, opening their hearts and minds to the LGBT ethos.

Hopefully, among future generations, far fewer gay men and women, boys and girls,  - regardless of race or religion - will need to live a lie in order to sustain all-important family ties; the family ethos, too, should be about love and trust, should it not? Or how else can we, as civilised human beings, hope to learn from and respect one another…?

CONVERSATIONS or Q & A

People ask me if I am happy
to be gay, wouldn’t I rather be ‘normal’,
less of a curiosity…?
I ask them, “I am as I am, it’s me,
so why expect mind-body-spirit to reason
any differently…?”

People ask me why I choose
to be gay, wouldn’t I much rather win over
society than lose?
I tell them, “This or that society
has ever harboured bigots, their prejudices
pass over me…
Sexuality is no lifestyle choice,
but a way of giving such life forces as inspire
heart and soul - a voice…”

People ask me if I am happy
with a voice as likely as not to be sneered
at by so many…?
I ask them, “Is it any fault of mine
if they are ignorant of ways of personal space
other than their own…?
Why should anyone’s sexuality
matter to others, all of us sons and daughters,
a common humanity…?”

People ask me how I can justify
crossing lines set in stone by world religions,
yet dare invoke spirituality?
I tell them, “God is Love., you see,
and no love was ever set in stone, would side
with any bigotry…
Love and let love, each to our own,
and may we forgive who would judge us harshly
lash out at us or disown…”

People ask me if I am happy
to be gay, wouldn’t I rather be ‘normal’,
less of a curiosity…?
I ask them, “I am as I am, it’s me,
so why expect mind-body-spirit to reason
any differently…?”

Copyright R N Taber, 2022

No Bedtime Story

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“If I could have done it myself, I would have already done it: pried open my ribs and etched the Word onto my heart’s beating chambers. But it seemed my ex-gay counsellors were the only ones with enough skill and experience to wield the scalpel.” – Garrard Conley (Boy Erased.)

"Terror doesn't change people from gay to straight. It just hurts innocent people." - DaShanne Stokes

“Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary.” - Khalil Gibran

Now, like most LGBT folks here in the UK and around the world, I am appalled that the British Government has done a U-turn with regards to the banning of conversion therapy, except for transgender people; the implication is that it is more natural to deal with gender identity problems since they are a mistake that deserves to be rectified, whereas being lesbian, gay or bisexual is a matter of lifestyle choice... which, of course, it isn't.

It is incredible that such naivety and subsequent abuse of Human Rights in any so-called 'civilised' society should persist even into the 21st century, although as a measure of political expediency it should come as no surprise. God forbid, certain powers that be among the electorate, especially those whose religious agendas see the LGBT ethos as an enemy life force, should be so offended as to put their voting rights on permanent hold...

This post-poem also appears on my gay poetry blog today; although feedback suggests that although more LGBT readers browse both blogs now, a significant number don’t, especially those who use a shared computer and feel obliged to remain ‘closet’ for whatever reason.

To those (relatively few) readers who have emailed me in the past to complain about gay-interest poems appearing here as well as my gay-interest poetry blog, I can only repeat what I’ve said so many times before, that a poem is a poem is a poem just as a person is a person is a person, regardless of how critics may choose to chew over any bare bones.

NO BEDTIME STORY

I lost out on many pleasures of youth,
mind-body-spirit afraid in those dark days
to raise its head above a thick fog
of such misinformation and homophobia
as likely to appeal to those bigots
around the world to whom prejudice comes
as naturally as breathing, sad souls
whose personal space so damaged by the cut
and thrust of life, they must lash out

Better late than never, I saw the light,
emerged from my lonely closet into a new day,
thinking I needs must tell the bigots
that I’m gay, or else how to even attempt
any getting them to see the awful hurt
they inflict on the likes of me, no less a person
in my own right or in any godly sight
for being honest with myself, family and friends,
no matter how strange my story sounds...?

Though I regret the coward in me that hid
myself away from the dazzling light of home truth
during those early years of self-discovery,
revealing, ticking off a checklist of scary things
I had neither confidence nor vocabulary
then to express, unable to confide in anyone,
fearing verbal or physical abuse or, worse,
conversion therapy’s crude attempts to reshape me
in an image tailored to its host ‘society’

By the time I felt able to tell the world I’m gay,
I was less afraid to look it n the eye, could argue
the case for mind-body-spirit, heart-and soul,
confident enough to resist being thrust into freefall
yet again, closet days scratched into my brain,
a hurt I’d vowed nothing and no one would make me
endure again, nor any need, since now all-human,
for all its flaws, none of which include such desires
as lighting love-and-freedom’s home fires

Surely, a twenty-first century deserves far better
than shades of a bigotry hell bent on undermining
the more positive-thinking mind-body-spirit
aspiring to a global consensus on peace and love,
no matter its bias in politics and religions, 
arguing against a personal space always seeking
a kinder place, one less inclined to dismiss
its take on life as but a measure of such behaviour
as well-deserving contempt and censure..?

Humanity is no favourite novel, but comprising
real people battling real odds, for better or worse...
and well-deserving due respect for our efforts
no matter who we are, whatever sexual orientation
best defines us as we grow into our lives,
learning as much about our true selves and each other
as the world we share, one deserving no less care
than flowers sown in field or garden by human hands
or blown there by some heavenly wind...

Let others in the world make of us what they will,
but never forget we are a common humanity,
like it or not, and should it nurse any such reservation
as it needs must pass on for any good reason
other than society’s general well-being and salvation,
then let it keep its big mouth well and truly shut,
further research its grievances before endorsing wrongs
that have made outsiders of selective insiders for centuries
for no other reason than because, because...

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

 

Perspectives

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Hello, everyone, from London UK

“The more important thing is not the object of love, but the emotion itself”. – Gore Vidal

“There will always be enemies. Time to stop being your own.” – Larry Kramer

“Love takes off the masks we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” – James Baldwin

“I’d rather burn in hell than worship an anti-gay God.” – Desmond Tutu

Now, although some readers have objected to any gay-interest poems that I post here now and then as well as on my other poetry blog, I could not refuse a reader who simply signs his email as ‘a caring dad’. He says he has good reason to suspect that one of his sons may be gay, and doesn’t want him to live ‘in some lonely closet’. Having read a selection of poems on my gay blog, he asks that I post another here as the son in question is a regular visitor, since which he “...has come close to acknowledging his sexuality to himself and everyone else...”  

Well, good luck, dad, and if, indeed, your son is gay, I wish you both a far closer relationship that I was ever able to share with my own father.

As I keep telling readers who chance upon my gay blog (more often than not by accident than design) most of my gay-specific poems are in the blog archives, so do, take a look sometime. I will be 77 years old this year and, not unsurprisingly, no longer sexually active, especially after living with prostate cancer for a good ten years now; hence, a failing inspiration with regard to poetry that embraces LGBT matters.😉

Having said that, though, my main interest in writing any poem is that poetry like any art form, excludes no one. Besides, I may be growing old, but I still have the mind-body-spirit of a gay man; nor does being of any LGBT persuasion, exclude us from such universal thought processes and opinions as reflected in this and that ethos throughout history.

Now, as I have said on previous posts, over the years, I 've met a significant number of people - from all walks of life and religion - who have been made to feel they must choose between communing with a native sense of spirituality and engaging with desires of the flesh. To anyone from any community, this would have taken them into a state of crisis during the 1950’s when I was growing up; a post-war society that saw same sex relationships as a crime against God and nature. Prejudice against LGBT folks in those days was so intense that we lived in fear of being 'outed' and subsequently getting beaten up or worse...

As any regular reader of either or both of my poetry blogs will know, it was not until my early 30’s that I finally saw my way clear to face the world as a gay man. I have openly supported LGBT rights ever since; hopefully, the ranks of heterosexual men and women who feel able to do likewise  will continue to grow... 

God, I had been told, time and again, is a God of Love. Love, of course, comes in many shapes and forms and I came to believe that love between two people of the same sex would not - contrary to the religious dogma in which I had been all but brainwashed for years - be considered a blasphemy likely to send me to Hell.  By then, too, I had discovered for myself how we can so easily be misled into creating our own Heaven and Hell here on Earth, in such ways as are anything but metaphorical...!

Prejudice of any description, towards anyone, is as much of an affront to human dignity as it has always been. Now, though, relatively slowly but surely, common sense, fairness and an equality deserving of a common humanity are filtering through to the more enlightened societies and communities worldwide; that many, if not most of these are among the more secularly inclined, does not and should not be seen as attitudes toward a native spirituality being in the decline.   

No religion has a monopoly on a person’s sense of spirituality nor the right to dictate this or that theological agenda, whatever certain Holy Books have to say on the matter.

As I have said many times on the blogs, I have every respect for anyone’s sincerely held religious faith just as I would ask them to respect my right to find my own way in life, love, and spiritual well-being.

PERSPECTIVES

As age takes its toll of me,
I look back in anger
at schooldays long, long ago,
when I’d dread anyone
should know my secret shame,
as nurtured by societies,
within such as I, a taboo as few
(then) dared call by name, fearing abuse,
left with but Hobson’s choice

Secrets, though will fester,
drive mind-body-spirit
all but mad for suppressing
such love as flowered
within such as I, to which denial
from heart and soul
but falls on deaf ears, until a time
natural instinct insists it no longer ignore
a roar, growing ever louder

The first time I ventured
into the landscape
some religions would condemn
as a unpardonable,
I was trembling for the sheer dread
my God would strike me
dead where I stood,
waiting on a stranger to come, set me free,
if only temporarily, to be ME

We exchanged few words,
that stranger and I,
as we shared a mind-body-spirit
risen to the occasion,
on wings that would be clipped
by certain powers that be
who fear, above all, an individuality
asserting itself, no whim, but once and for all
over the human heart and soul

Time passed, as time will do,
ageing mind-body-spirit
grown weary of showing masks
to a world feeding
on stereotypes, passing off its vanity
as concerns for a humanity
driven by such sure historical agendas
as would see it sign up
to God-fearing behaviour, dogma and faiths
outlawing same sex relationships

Mind-body-spirit, though, asks
more of any society
or religion, increasingly less content
to go free but now and then,
seeking out such resources of its own
as would have it go
mask-free into the world, show its face,
defy any powers that be
hell bent on taking all prejudice and hypocrisy
into yet another deaf-blind century

As generations come and go,
so, too, young people
with minds of their own, less inclined
to be browbeaten,
even during their formative years,
by agenda and/or dogma
as would capture a free mind-body-spirit
with such ideas as may suppress a natural empathy
with a sense of common humanity...

Each to their own sense of right
and wrong, no matter
from where, how or even whom it comes,
entitled not to budge,
but not so as to judge others by standards
adapted to suit themselves,
however well-intentioned they may be
to save humanity from such plots by persons unknown
as likely as not to deny it salvation

To each, though, our own perspective on personal space,
defining its You-Me-Us, by God’s grace

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022