My World

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

"I am in blood/Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more,/ Returning would be a tedious as go o'er." - thus speaks Macbeth in Shakespeare's play.

"Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for reputations." - Thomas Dewar

Now, an old friend once confided that he wished he had lived his life differently, done certain things differently, made fewer mistakes. He then gave a long sigh and said, "We are who we are, I guess, and who can we blame for that but ourselves? Others play their part, no doubt about that, but at the end of the day..." I have to say I empathised completely.

Much as I deplore Vladimir Putin's intentions against Ukraine, I cannot help but wonder whether or not he, too, empathises with Macbeth?  To some extent or another, I suspect many, if not most, of us can?

As my English teacher pointed out at the time my class was studying the play, we all make many a mistake where even apologising and trying to make amends means precious little, in real terms, to those on the receiving end. 

Whether 'stepped in blood so far...' or no, it's not so much vanity that often prevents us from attempting a retreat, as fear of experiencing physical and/ or emotional consequences not dissimilar to whose we have inflicted.

As my mother would say, nothing ventured, nothing gained...except consequences.

MY WORLD

I had left without going anywhere,
done damage without lifting a finger,
enough to have said things
I could not, would not ever take back
for lack of moral courage
in me, refusing, time and again to confess
that of the you-me-us
to whom I have always aspired, the ‘me’
 is but a fantasy

I was never the person I believed in,
whom others took for someone born to be
a loser in the greater scheme
of humanity, letting them down by putting
a false smile on my face,
for making out all’s well in a world waking
to nightmares. day after day,
small comfort in sweet dreams every night
of getting it right

Too late to go back, set out again,
driven by broader, kinder, fairer objectives
towards those with whom
I cannot agree to differ without losing face,
not an option for the likes
of such as I, raised to believe it’s better to go
on the attack than wait
for the long arm of diplomacy to reach out
too late...

Precious little peace in a world so mindful of me,
my own worst enemy

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022