Bits and Pieces

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” -  Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.” – James Thurber

“Bitterness is kike cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns all clean.” Maya Angelou

“Where once estrangement has arisen between those who truly love each other, everything seems to widen the breach.” – Mary Elizabeth Braddon

“Nothing is as good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” – William Shakespeare

Now. kith and kin fall out all the time, often the closer for falling back in again. But something and someone has to give, at least try to put bits and pieces back where they belong. Easy enough, when everyone shares the same insight, but insight can become worn, even flawed if left in bits and pieces for too long. 

The old saying goes that ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ – but like many old sayings, is little more than wishful thinking, depending on why the absences, whose hearts and just how much it matters to all concerned in terms of peace of mind.  Sometimes we don’t try hard enough to secure the latter, or our efforts are discouraged and/or misinterpreted. 

I guess, there’s more wisdom in old sayings than aspires to meet the eye or move the tongue, such as:  ‘There’s no point in crying over spilt milk,’ – but that, too, depends on where spilt, how much, and are we prepared to wipe it up ourselves of leave it to whom we assume responsible?

No easy answers, but if it’s a question we are asking of ourselves, the chances are we need to put our personal space to rights, one way or another, the sooner the better.

BITS AND PIECES

We parted long ago,
haven’t crossed paths for years,
you, assuming why
I fell so short of expectations,
making assumptions, always safer
than asking questions

Ask not, fear not
any answers that might close in
on certain home truths,
best avoided in case tempted
to look to closely at a you-me-us
left in bits and pieces

Blame me as much 
as you will, but it requires two
to dance a tango,
watching others wondering 
why we don't care to take the floor,
nothing there anymore?

Nothing comes of nothing, nor could,
but for asking why we never did

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

War and Peace

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

"Forgive and forget, but never forget to forgive. You may find a happier heart is the key to a happier life." – Mahatma Gandhi

"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." – Buddha

"Borrowed time and borrowed world and borrowed eyes to sorrow it." – Cormac McCarthy

Many if not most of us fall out with friends and family from time to time, even lose patience with the powers that be for the way they have a major say in how our country is run; hence, people protesting in Russia at the moment over its aggression against Ukraine, even though they know they face a long prison sentence.

Given time, fallen bridges may yet be rebuilt, but needs must we remember that time can never be relied upon to so oblige us.

WAR AND PEACE

I am part of a healing process
to an open wound that seem to take
ages to close if, indeed
it ever will for festering at every move
I make towards understanding
how come it still hurts me so, even though
its damage done long since,
yet mind-body-spirit unable to go free, subdue
if not kill the rage in me

How to forgive anyone unable
to comprehend such damage done as
forgiveness seeks
reparation, if only they accept their share
of blame, where blame
on both sides invariably lies, needs
talking through, less concerned
with seeing home truths score hits than learning
the lessons they teach

At home, abroad, war or peace,
though agreeing to differ at the end of talks,
only fools resist
giving peace a chance to fly its colours,
high, and proudly so
for all to see, endorsing what may well
be perceived as compromise,
but one such as heart-and-soul would lend us time
to make us whole again

Country-family-friends, engaging in war or peace,
such is human variant of Choice

 Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

 

Sleeping Dogs

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

We don’t always appreciate the effect our words and/or actions might have on others, even loved ones. It is so easy to be well-meaning yet misunderstood. Yet, if a relationship is worth saving it is worth fighting for, and all parties should make time to talk things through…

I have been let down badly by friends and family in the past (haven’t we all?). Sometimes we have talked things through and grown closer. However, there have been times when much, as I would have liked to talk things through, some people only have ears for what they want to hear; any 'closeness'  was but a mirage. I dare say they feel the same about me. For all my faults, though, I am always ready to talk things through…with people prepared to consider points of view other than their own. It is rarely a question of who is right or wrong, but simply bearing in mind that, just as we may easily hurt ourselves so, too, it is easy to unintentionally inflict hurt.

The better you know someone, the least likely you are to want to hurt them, and vice versa. The closer you are, though, the easier it becomes to do just that. All relationships need to be worked at; some people are simply not prepared to put in the effort, or cannot see how or why they should, so never really get to know anyone that well. Sadly some people are so self-centred and/ or dogmatic in their approach to others, they find it hard if not impossible to relate to feelings and points of view they don't, won't or can't share.

In my experience, it is possible to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship (of whatever nature) once, even twice, but rare, indeed, is he or she who can find it within themselves to make the effort a third time; better then, perhaps, to let sleeping dogs lie than enter the fray yet again ...

Most friends and family members fall out from time to time, although if a relationship is worth having, it has to be worth saving; as always, it takes two to tango. In my experience, it is possible to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship (of whatever nature) once, even twice, but rare, indeed, is he or she who can find it within themselves to make the effort a third time; better then, perhaps, to let sleeping dogs lie than enter the fray yet again and put our own sense of  well-being, not to mention physical and/ or mental health, on the line.

SLEEPING DOGS

Love may well never die

nor friendship, but sometimes

both may well lie sleeping

within a heart grown, oh, so weary

behind eyes brought

to weeping for all those things

not as we would have them;

accepted, understood, forgiven even,

and never quite forgot,

but left asleep in the arms

of every dreamer

that ever loved or had a friend

where love and friendship

not returned in kind, or even in part

if we include untold damage

to the heart, ignorance of some crisis

of all-inclusive mind-body-spirit

Ah, but neither love nor friendship
can fire those open only to self-interest
with the inspiration required
to subdue the flames of desperation
just long enough to enable
a reaching-out beyond abstract expectation
all but set in stone
that every opportunity needs must wear
appropriate regalia, leaving us free

to spot 'spectators' (by any other name)
intent on having sport with us;

in time, may we come to appreciate

what (and who?) we're up against,

we family, friends and would-be lovers

left waiting at a gate we know
(only too well) may never reopen for us

unless by whim of a kinder fate

Awake, sleeping friendships and loves

stirring in quiet hearts every now and then,
chance overcoming
feelings of rejection by those
who should have known so much better
than to doubt us, recalling
wistful might-have-beens left to fade
into some once-upon-a- time
for mind-body-spirit to turn now and then
like the pages of a fairy story
by Hans Christian Andersen, relating
brave new worlds for children
to carry into adulthood and spread the news
how love will endure and hate expire
if we let it, albeit any tale takes one to tell.
another to share, and that same pair (at least)
to leave lie but sleeping in the heart

Copyright R. N. Taber 2005; 2013

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears in A Feeling for the Quickness of Time by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books 2005.]

The Gatekeeper's Song

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

While we are all sitting on fences, tearing them down or maybe even trying to mend some, I wonder what The Gatekeeper thinks about it all...?

THE GATEKEEPER’S SONG

They turned their backs on me

or was it I who ran away…?

Memory, it so likes to play tricks

on us, rather than let us see

what really takes place in corners

of the heart we rarely seek out,

for fearing what we may find

in holiday snapshots and behind

words in letters read in anger,

birthday cards left unsent, never

recognising the danger of years

passing so quickly till we’ve only

such poor excuses and regret

as conscience cares to permit shine

in darkest corners of the mind

where, yes, we’d so return a while,

have love take us that last mile

where stubborn feet still refuse to go

though heart and soul never left,

and would set us free, let us see all

the heart deserves to know

No, not free from nature's finer ties

(never that) but, rather, set out

in tablets of stone, supposedly less

likely to break than any we shape

in a clay that may please human eyes

for moment in time, but hardens

(not as we imagined) to a perspective

on dark corners where sometimes

pain seeks solace, yet finding none

in unused icons of human hearts

left but to gather dust like old photos

Better, surely, to air home truths

(even after years of running away)

if only to deny the world its pleasure

in exposing us along tired lines

of letting live but to die another day,

no matter where any blame let lie

nor we (or they) be straight or gay?

Time to open the gate before it’s too late

to live to love another day…

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010, 2019

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears in On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010; slightly but significantly revised, 2019.]