Mind-Body-Spirit, Work in Progress OR Where the (Missing) Keyword is Support

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

A reader asks if the novels on my 'Fiction in the Subject Field' blog are gay-interest fiction. Most are, and there are only a few anyway, but Mamelon, for example is a fantasy novel:

https://rogertaberfiction.blogspot.com/2016/05/news-updates-fiction.html

Meanwhile...

One of my childhood friends had always wanted to become  an engineer.  Both her parents, though, and older brothers were teachers and it was assumed she would follow the family tradition and any idea of a female engineer was a considered passing fancy, an absurd one at that.

The family moved away and years later we met by chance, and she related over several pints of Guinness how she had been persuaded to enter the teaching profession, after finally giving way to 'emotional blackmail' on the part of her family. After a few years of teaching, she realised "...it just wasn't me. I neither enjoyed nor hated it, and I think I was fairly good, but I knew I would be a far better engineer." So she gave up teaching for engineering, always more than capable of turning any sexism on its head. She and her scientist husband, had three lovely children, and the rest is history...  We lost touch, but I would get news of her from time to time. Apparently, the parents never quite forgave her for breaking with family tradition, but came to terms with it in time; such is the power of love over most of its nemeses.

We all need family and friends to give us the time and space to be ourselves, free of any pressure, however well-meaning, to follow whatever path in life they may well believe is right for us (or for them?) but the chances are self-awareness tells a different story.

Being true to ourselves, and giving self-awareness credit where credit is due, may not always be easy, but necessary if we seek peace of mind. Not all 'devil's are malicious, although it has to be said that most if not all can be very persuasive. I was very close to my mother and loved her dearly, but she did her best to dissuade me from going to university as a mature student (I was 25) because I had not done well at school and she thought I was overreaching myself. Even so, I went ahead and managed a BA Hons, class 2/1 in English & American Literature at the University of Kent in Canterbury which consequently enabled me to do a postgraduate course in librarianship and be the librarian I'd always wanted to be; it also gave me the confidence to come out to the world as a gay man, but that's another story altogether...

MIND-BODY-SPIRIT, WORK IN PROGRESS or WHERE THE (MISSING) KEYWOD IS SUPPORT

Falling part at the seams,
trying to put myself back together
but only pipe dreams
to work with, though not the best
of working materials,
especially when the only tools
to hand are high hopes, vulnerable
at the best of times

Getting nowhere fast, need
to look at alternatives to a chorus
of "I'm doing fine, thanks,"
to anyone who cares enough to ask;
surely, we owe it to ourselves
and each other to get real, allow
give selfie genes a fighting chance
to fulfil their potential

If the devil takes the hindmost,
don't let that devil be me, in growing
more bitter every day,
blaming the world's falling apart
on its creating a blueprint
for an humanity unfit for purpose,
shaped by fake news, devils in details
and social media trolls

Let common sense, get the better
of faux stereotypes, common principles
and voices for Human Rights
truly make themselves felt, endorsing
a diverse human nature,
while shaming any native prejudice
rushing to judgement for the culprit it is
without fear or favour?

It was never in the lap of any gods
that humankind has proven itself better
by far than its worst,
for it's in human nature to resist
the push and shove
of its devils by standing up for itself
and all it believes in, not least a freedom
of choice to be or not to be

Last heard of picking up the pieces
of you-me-us found on any urban street
or country lane, cast aside
for fear of causing offence, upsetting
nearest and dearest,
needing to be put together,
prevent our humanity going into free fall,
and taking Earth Mother with us

Copyright R. N. Taber 2019

Closet Fear

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Yet again, I have been asked to publish a gay-interest post/poem on this blog; it has been on my gay-interest blog for several years. A reader writes, "I have a pc at home, but dare not risk reading your gay blog, and have to go to my local public library for that. I know that some members of my family read your general blog so please post more gay poems there so they might yet come to understand that being gay is neither crime nor sin."  Whether the writer is male of female, I have no idea, but I hope the poem helps, at least in part, to bring any family members to a greater understanding of the human heart as a free country and any God as a God of Love, regardless of any contradictory dogma by this or that religion. 

Here in the West, it has been my experience that many gay people take freedom of sexual identity for granted.  True, there is no denying that homophobia is still alive and kicking. Yet, I have listened over the years to chilling tales of how it is to be gay in countries where same sex relationships remain a criminal offence (Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia and various African countries among many) punishable by a public whipping, prison or worse. I have learned to count my blessings…even during those low points in my life when they may otherwise have seemed too thin on the ground for much comfort.

Yes, the heart is a free country, not a prison; wherever its every beat expresses fear of exposure under pain of punishment, even death, that's more than an abuse of Human Rights, but makes any of any religious dogma advocating it the greater abuse or sin against humanity by far. Religion is meant to be an expression of love; no God of Love would condone hate crime in any shape or form. I left my local Church Sunday School for this very reason at the age of ten years, four years before I realised and acknowledged (to myself at least) that I am gay. 

It is a tragedy for the West that many if not most immigrant families bring their religious dogma with them, forcing their gay young people into the kind of closet that public opinion forced me into years ago; one which resulted in a mental breakdown in my early 30's and a suicide attempt. Even now, I bitterly regret not coming out to family, friends and work colleagues, whatever their take on homosexuality, until my early 40's. Regular readers will know that I do not subscribe to any religion. At the same time, nor do I consider religion to have a monopoly on a sense of spirituality; the latter and homosexuality (or gender identity) are not incompatible. As I have said so many times on both blogs, our differences do not make us different, only human.

CLOSET FEAR

No one can know we’re lovers,

everyone sees us as good friends

or lany peace of mind for love stands

no chance

No one can know we share a bed

whenever I stay over at your place,

taking each day as it comes, for good

or ill

No one can know we’re gay men

playing hide-and-seek with shadows,

one mind-body-spirit no less deserving

of nurture

No one must guess our secret,

war weary of judgmental stereotypes

dragging us down even as we recharge

its batteries

No one must catch a single look

between us that even hints at a story

that dare not be told though reworked

for centuries

No one must guess we’re lovers

who would cheer us publicly stoned

to death to satisfy an inhumanity baying

for blood

Yet, we will lie, bodies entwined,

away from prying eyes and loose talk,

make love among far kinder hypotheses,

dream on…

Copyright R. N. Taber 2015

  

Mind-Body-Spirit, Humanity's Flexible Friend

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Someone recently commented to me that, “I have no problem with gay people as such. But, like all those who choose to flout convention, they are attention seekers and would probably change their tune quick enough if they didn’t get any.”

I couldn’t believe my ears, especially as it was clear the guy was sincere. I put to him that sexuality is in the genes and has nothing to do with deliberately choosing to flout convention or be a focus of attention.

He would have none of it. “Where would society be without its conventions,” he demanded. “Without golden rules to live by, you’d have anarchy.”

Funny, I had never thought of myself as an anarchist…until now! Yes, of course we need golden rules to live by. At the same time, thank goodness for some golden exceptions, among which sexuality is but one ...

'Conventional people are roused to fury by departures from convention, largely because they regard such departures as a criticism of themselves.' – Bertrand Russell 

“Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are incapable of forming such opinions." – Albert Einstein (Essay to Leo Baeck, 1953)

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one   that is most adaptable to change." - Charles Darwin

MIND-BODY-SPIRIT, HUMANITY'S FLEXIBLE FRIEND

I know my place, would teach

others, though some refuse to learn,

take me for an enemy, refuse

to see I have their well-being at heart,

would prefer not to toss them

like flotsam and jetsam on such waves

as mother-god Society enjoys

making for those who dare question

if its integrity fit for purpose

I know my place, would teach

others to know theirs, better by far

to tread in footprints already

leading the way across snow and ice

than take another, untested path,

making out it will lead somewhere

when there’s no real guarantee

it will lead anywhere at all, followers

as like as not heading for a fall

I know my place, would plead

with others to know theirs, trusting

to be led by my moral compass

into the quiet waters of expediency,

leaving politics and religions

free to hoist colours flapping madly

in a breeze, rightly keen to please,

condemning certain rites of sexuality

likely to put humanity on the spot

My place, rejecting any re-invention

of society's old stand-by, convention

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2010; 2016