Sometimes...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

 “And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.” – G. K. Chesterton 

“…Remember you are half water. If you cannot go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.”- Margaret Atwood

"Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse the earth, the air and you.”- Langston Hughes

The unseasonable heat, having got me down, I went for a walk in a welcome downpour yesterday. Not enough rain to ease the drought situation here in London, but enough to make me feel alive again, and up for whatever...especially after a friend caught up with me who was feeling much the same; we could not put the world to eights, but we managed a pretty good job on each other... 😁

SOMETIMES…

Sometimes, I lose myself
in dim passages, open spaces,
even on familiar trails,
a sense of loneliness for nowhere
to turn, no one to ask
whom I can trust not to mock me,
but understand why
I feel as I do, no Happy Wanderer, me,
but sad, anxious and lonely…

Sometimes, I need to walk
in the rain, let it soak me through
till even self-pity wearies
of getting nowhere fast. when a gap
in the clouds, lets the sun
sneak back in, grinning down at me.
not unsympathetically,
but as if anxious to remind the likes of me
there’s no salvation in self-pity

Rain teeming, sky seeming
to mock me for being, not a realist,
but a defeatist in the face
of such adversity that’s demanding
more of me than is fair,
given less of me to blame for seeking
inspiration from raindrops
as if they were ideas, but badgering my skin 
to let heart-and-soul back in 

Rain, easing, but teasingly,
as if calling on all mind-body-spirit 
to wake up and get real
with life as it is, not always as we dream 
nor we, ourselves only
to blame for it’s not working out for us
we can hide our tears
in the rain for just so long, before loved ones 
embark on wrong conclusions

Rain, giving way to Apollo,
long enough for sunshine and smiles
to light up a world
that can’t see its way to helping us out
unless we start confiding,
instead of hiding away in personal spaces,
making out we’re coping,
just pretending to get by, a fear of losing face
awarded faux pride of place

Out of nowhere, a friend suggests we find shelter;
soon confiding, laughing, feeling better...

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

 

A Mind of One's Own

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“It is amazing how complete the delusion that beauty is goodness.” – Leo Tolstoy

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”- Steve Jobs

Everyone has doubts and will often seek advice. The best advice my mother ever gave me was “Never forget you are your own person, son. Take a good look at any doubts you may have, come to your own conclusions and go your own way. You may be right, you may be wrong, but you’ll find out sooner or later and it’s never to late to change course.”

I know people who are contemptuous of professional counsellors, invariably commenting to the effect that anyone can give advice. A professional counsellor, though, is trained to assess what’s best for whoever is asking. Too often, we may turn to someone we know well, and that person genuinely has our best interests at heart, but any advice given is as likely as not to be what they would do if they were in our position; only, they are not, are they...?

Despite my mother’s good advice, I have taken bad advice in the past, lived to regret it and, yes, had  to change course... for better or worse, but still here at 76, so must have got something right.  😉

A MIND OF ONE’S OWN

I see who I am
warts ‘n’ all, happy-sad and glad
to be so, no character
in a soap opera on the radio
or TV, nor someone
for whom my family nurse ambitions
for needing me to be seen
doing better than a neighbourhood mate
before it’s too late...

I have needed
mentors, teachers, both in and out
of school, showing me
how it’s done, this growing up to be
my own person,
not some copycat version created
by those closest to me
thinking they know the ‘real’ me they see,
that’s but their fantasy

They mean no harm,
quite the reverse, those who imagine
they can read me
chapter and verse, and thereby hangs,
a tragedy, expectations
of various projections always there
at my shoulder
as I get older, a mind of my own grown wise
to their ways

It’s bad enough being told
this or that job or profession is out
of the question...
because we haven’t the intelligence
or aptitude for...whatever,
few people thinking to reason why
I have dreams I need
to try out for size, and if I can’t fit into them,
my fault, not theirs

Oh, and what of stereotypes
around for centuries, given a new
lease of life
on social media, scaring everyone
should they get ideas
and (heaven forbid) starts scoring points
over subscribers,
pointing fingers as may give a mind-body-spirit
food for thought?

Every society and community
has its own agenda, to be recommended
in all sincerity
by such powers that be as positioned
to impose their authority
and integrity on any ear, trusting
those pricking up won’t dare
question either, no interest in sleights of argument,
only consent...

So, first choice, personal space,
to be or not to be a place we can hide away
or embrace each day
with both hands, our fair share of its ups
and down all but certain,
but certain, too, of doing our best,
in a world of winner, losers
and many a beggar, too, the poorer still for a devil
on the shoulder

For any tears shed, loves lost
and won, even toes trod on (serves them right)
whatever our ethnicity,
creed, sexuality, political persuasion,
just as all opinions matter,
deserve a voice, so, too, do all lives,
many deserving better
than being misled by life forces perceived as allies,
proven enemies

 Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

 

 

 

Another Open Letter to Readers

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Hi Everyone, from here in London UK,

Sorry, no poem today, but am working on one...

Several readers have kindly emailed to ask how I am, as I am getting on a bit now and having to deal with various health problems, although not Covid-19, so I count my blessings.

My inner self is fine most of the time, I am happy to say; the pandemic leaves me very dispirited from time to time, especially when my bad leg &/or prostate cancer are playing up at the same time. By way of creative therapy, writing up the blog and making contact with readers around the world is not only a welcome distraction from my own problems, but hugely comforting too. So, many thanks to you all again, just for being there and taking the trouble read my poems.

Some days, of course, are worse than others, but I decided a long time ago that I would take each day as it comes and try to keep looking on the bright(er)side of life. Years go, I did not expect to be having to deal with growing old on my own. As it turned out, I live alone, but have some good friends who keep me on my toes; hopefully, the feeling is reciprocal.

None of us can tell the future, though (probably just as well) so we have little or no choice but to deal with the ups and downs of life as they (invariably) happen or let them toss us into a quagmire of self-pity and despair.

Oh, yes, I  am familiar with that quagmire, been stuck in it many times over the years, but not for a long time, so... fingers crossed. I get fed-up, of course, don't we all? After a nervous breakdown some 40+ years ago, though, I have done my best to give it a wide berth.  Never easy, but well worth the struggle, as anyone who has ever been there will tell you. None of us should ever hesitate to ask for help, either; help is on hand in family friends, professional counsellors... all can help, but none are mind readers and I suspect there will always be times in life when we need to swallow any misplaced pride and learn how to get a life again...

For many people, everyday life becomes harder to contend with once retired, especially if - for whatever reason - they are unable to enjoy retirement as they had hoped and planned. An elderly friend - long since passed away - once warned me about retirement. "When you retire, be sure to replace your job, especially if it is one that has given you much pleasure and satisfaction, with something that gives you much the same level of pleasure and satisfaction," adding wryly, "We all need a purpose in life. When you retire, it's a case of sink or swim." Having been retired for nearly 15 years now, I am often reminded of those words, hearing his voice speak them in my head whenever I feel myself in danger of sinking into the quagmire...

Easier said than done, of course, but what isn't in the struggle to make the best of circumstances we would have preferred to avoid...?

Oh, and my late friend also told me to be sure and practice what I preach, so I do my best. 😉

Take good care of yourselves, dear readers, play safe, keep well as we can but try to nurture a positive thinking mindset, whatever life throws at us,

Lotta digital hugs, many thanks for dropping by and join me again anytime,

Roger

The Story of a Life

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Although I am 75 years-old, I remain at heart much the same person I was as a child. Hopefully, I have learned enough from various life-experiences not to dwell on the many mistakes I have made, but take sufficient strength from all they have taught me to keep looking on the bright(er) side of being human. 

The pandemic has given us all much food for thought, not least for a growing sense of isolation. 

Relatively few people have such confidence in themselves that they rarely need to share their thoughts and ideas, especially with those friends and/ or family members whose opinions matter most to us, if only because we can be sure they will be frank rather than just kind. 

The need for social distancing has been kind to no one, often leaving only the inner self to fall back on, not the most objective confidante to share our concerns. Even so, the self is all of who and what we are, and we need to trust it to give mind-body-spirit all the encouragement it may need. 

As a child, I would take my cue from the spirit of Happy-Ever-After tales, however questionably they might have ended. As an adult, I guess I still do. For better or for worse, it has seen me through good times and bad, and I can but hope it will continue to do so…

THE STORY OF A LIFE 

Listen, I am near,
poised to bid a heartfelt farewell
to winter’s darker ways,
mind-body-spirit eager to re-engage
with joie de vivre,
for growing younger, its sunlit days,
a timely reminder,
though whether humanity any the wiser
remains a brain-teaser 

Listen, I am here,
seek me out and you may well hear
whatever the head
seeks to know, while loath or unable
to break down
a heart’s closed door lest it reveal
it was but a dream,
the love for whom you dared hope to be
another’s one-and-only 

Listen, and be sure
to hear of what songbirds are singing,
that joie de vivre
we would all engage in for homing in on
people and places
we can always rely on to fill the heart
with happy thoughts,
inspiring all mind-body-spirit to go for gold
put aside growing old 

I am much the same favourite bedtime story
that’s the stuff of all live-and-let live history

 Copyright R. N. Taber, 2021