A Mind of One's Own

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“It is amazing how complete the delusion that beauty is goodness.” – Leo Tolstoy

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”- Steve Jobs

Everyone has doubts and will often seek advice. The best advice my mother ever gave me was “Never forget you are your own person, son. Take a good look at any doubts you may have, come to your own conclusions and go your own way. You may be right, you may be wrong, but you’ll find out sooner or later and it’s never to late to change course.”

I know people who are contemptuous of professional counsellors, invariably commenting to the effect that anyone can give advice. A professional counsellor, though, is trained to assess what’s best for whoever is asking. Too often, we may turn to someone we know well, and that person genuinely has our best interests at heart, but any advice given is as likely as not to be what they would do if they were in our position; only, they are not, are they...?

Despite my mother’s good advice, I have taken bad advice in the past, lived to regret it and, yes, had  to change course... for better or worse, but still here at 76, so must have got something right.  😉

A MIND OF ONE’S OWN

I see who I am
warts ‘n’ all, happy-sad and glad
to be so, no character
in a soap opera on the radio
or TV, nor someone
for whom my family nurse ambitions
for needing me to be seen
doing better than a neighbourhood mate
before it’s too late...

I have needed
mentors, teachers, both in and out
of school, showing me
how it’s done, this growing up to be
my own person,
not some copycat version created
by those closest to me
thinking they know the ‘real’ me they see,
that’s but their fantasy

They mean no harm,
quite the reverse, those who imagine
they can read me
chapter and verse, and thereby hangs,
a tragedy, expectations
of various projections always there
at my shoulder
as I get older, a mind of my own grown wise
to their ways

It’s bad enough being told
this or that job or profession is out
of the question...
because we haven’t the intelligence
or aptitude for...whatever,
few people thinking to reason why
I have dreams I need
to try out for size, and if I can’t fit into them,
my fault, not theirs

Oh, and what of stereotypes
around for centuries, given a new
lease of life
on social media, scaring everyone
should they get ideas
and (heaven forbid) starts scoring points
over subscribers,
pointing fingers as may give a mind-body-spirit
food for thought?

Every society and community
has its own agenda, to be recommended
in all sincerity
by such powers that be as positioned
to impose their authority
and integrity on any ear, trusting
those pricking up won’t dare
question either, no interest in sleights of argument,
only consent...

So, first choice, personal space,
to be or not to be a place we can hide away
or embrace each day
with both hands, our fair share of its ups
and down all but certain,
but certain, too, of doing our best,
in a world of winner, losers
and many a beggar, too, the poorer still for a devil
on the shoulder

For any tears shed, loves lost
and won, even toes trod on (serves them right)
whatever our ethnicity,
creed, sexuality, political persuasion,
just as all opinions matter,
deserve a voice, so, too, do all lives,
many deserving better
than being misled by life forces perceived as allies,
proven enemies

 Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022