Regular
readers will know that I have suffered bouts of depression since early
childhood.
As the first
poem is not as positive a take on depression as that to which I usually aspire,
I am also posting a second poem which I try
to say out loud (usually several times) whenever I feel unable to cope with whatever
it may be life has chosen to throw at me, invariably when I am particularly vulnerable. Agenda
for a Crisis may not be a great poem, but it has helped on more than one
occasion to prevent me panicking and (in no time) spiraling downwards into an
abyss; no easy task, but we have to try if only because trying is halfway to getting there and winning the battle against depression.
One of
the worst aspects of depression is the feeling of isolation; that no one really
cares or understands. Friends and loved ones do care, of course even if some have no idea how to help; those understand that we need someone to talk to and listen will provide a support network, but only if we let them. It is probably
true that most people cannot can even begin to understand depression unless they have
suffered it themselves or been close to a depressed person; it is no one’s
fault, neither theirs nor ours, but it isn’t easy to see that, and only too easy to play the blame game.
Most if
not all of us have known times when everything around and within us seems to be
falling apart. We can but try so hard to focus on the tiniest flicker of light at the
end of whatever long, dark tunnel we find ourselves in, pressing on towards it until it
is revealed as sun by day or moon by night and we start to feel like we're back
in the real world again, Earth Mother there to welcome, watch over and reassure us we are still the same person, possibly even a better one, but certainly
no worse for having been 'away' for a while.
Both poems
are villanelles.
STOP THE WORLD, I WANT TO GET (BACK) ON
World of
meaning falling apart;
time, a
lonely vacuum;
mind out
of step with the heart
Voices,
calling to make a start,
but no
faith in them;
world of
meaning falling apart
Faces, a
collage of satirical art
challenging
daily continuum;
mind out
of step with the heart
Hands,
signing to horse and cart
that
can’t find its rhythm;
world of
meaning falling apart
Each pitying
look, a poison dart
contaminating
the system;
mind out
of step with the heart
Life, a
line on a statistics chart;
offers of
help a distant hum;
world of
meaning falling apart,
mind out
of step with the heart
Copyright
R. N. Taber 2009
AGENDA FOR A CRISIS
For every hurt, a soothing balm
though time have its way;
think calm, be calm, stay calm.
Keep the mind safe from harm
where fear holds sway;
for every hurt, a soothing balm
Cue for panic, raised the alarm?
Though pain will have its say.
think calm, be calm, stay calm.
Never fall for self-pity’s charm
or keep those who care at bay;
for every hurt, a soothing balm
Take the hand on a friend's arm,
(peace of mind on its way)
think calm, be calm, stay calm
Bury regret, its remains embalm,
look to kinder ends, not away;
for every hurt, a soothing balm;
think calm. be calm, stay calm
Copyright R. N. Taber 2011