A Poet's Blog: Roger N.Taber shares his thoughts & poems...

Thoughts and observations by English poet Roger N. Taber, a retired librarian and poet-novelist.- "Ethnicity, Religion, Gender, Sexuality ... these are but parts of a whole. It is the whole that counts." RNT [NB While I have no wish to create a social network, I will always reply to critical emails about my poetry. Contact: rogertab@aol.com].

Name:
Location: London, United Kingdom

Sadly, a bad fall in 2012 has left me with a mobility problem, and being diagnosed with prostate cancer the same year hasn't helped, but I get out and about with my trusty walking stick as much as I can, take each day as it comes and try to keep looking on the bright(er) side of life. Many of my poems reflect the need to nurture a positive-thinking mindset whatever life throws at us.

Tuesday, 24 November 2020

Getting the Better of Demons

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

A Reader asks if I still submit poems to poetry journals. Occasionally, I do, but mostly I publish to the blog. Most editors stipulate that a poem should not have been published elsewhere which can tie up a piece for months while a decision is being made. In the past, I some 600 poems of mine have appeared in various poetry sources, excluding my own collections. I am greatly indebted to those editors for giving me the confidence to believe in myself as a poet.

One of my poems - Skeleton in the Cupboard - was recently published by the Society of Genealogists’ magazine (Vol. 33, No 8, Dec. 2020) here in the UK at the editor's request; it is distributed to members worldwide, so hopefully some readers will enjoy it. Blog readers will find it in the archives (right hand side of any blog page) for February 2018. 

Meanwhile ...

Some 60+ years ago, I used to have nightmares most nights and would sometimes fall asleep in class.  A teacher tackled me about it after school one day, and I told him about the nightmares. He did not ask what they were about, only warned me not to let them get the better of me. 

“Do they scare you, these nightmares?” he asked. I nodded.  

“Do you want to spend the rest of your life being scared? I shook my head. “Then chase them away. Open your mind to people, places, and things that mean the most to you, trust your more positive feelings, and let them convince you you’re bigger and better than any stupid nightmare just for having them. Start believing that, and no nightmare can survive. They are our demons. They love to sound out the worst in us, negative feelings we may not even be consciously aware of. Think positive, Taber, and they’ll run a mile. Try it, and see, yes?” 

“Yes, sir, I nodded, thinking what a load of rubbish, and anxious to be on my way home. 

Even aged 15, though, the sceptic in me could never resist a challenge. I gave his advice a whirl, and rarely have nightmares troubled me since. Moreover, I was a psychological mess for years, and positive thinking has worked wonders for my mental well-being. 

Mind you, getting the better of nightmares is one thing, getting the better of human nature, that's something else.

GETTING THE BETTER OF DEMONS 

I help recapture the best
of all yesterdays, and if darker times
should attempt
to muscle in and get the better of us,
I will summon the power
of love from its very first heartbeat
to drive any demons away
daring to believe they can pick a fight with us
and prove anything but losers 

I help plant and nurture
the finer seeds of all such tomorrows
as try to persuade
the world to turn as nature would have it,
pitted though it be
against the worst of humanity’s flaws
and baser desires
giving it (and us) just cause for a determination
to devise and effect reparation 

I have nursed broken hearts
and minds to a greater sense of wellness
than the very society
that would do them harm in the first place,
not least for its failing
to mark how its population nurtures
a split personality,
its diversity of socio-cultural-religious ideals
erecting fences, building walls
 

Call me, Pillow, where hope and love share dreams
of saving worlds last seen fraying at the seams

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2020

















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Monday, 21 September 2020

M-E, Margins for Error OR In Denial

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber 

Today’s poem first appeared in the blog in 2013. 

Many thanks to those of you who have been in touch to encourage me in compiling a new collection; the first draft id ready for proofing.I have made one last attempt to interest a mainstream publisher and will know if they are interested within the next six weeks or so; in the past as you know, I have met with a wall of resistance to publishing a collection that includes gay-interest as well as general poems. Time, though, surely, to wake up to the fact that there is more to any of us than our sexuality … or maybe they just don’t like how I write?

Whatever, I will self-publish again if necessary.

Meanwhile … 

Why is it that even in these hard times of coronavirus around the world, there is always a selfish minority refuse to play their part in helping to safeguard the majority. I di not drive so rely on public transport; time and again I see people pulling their masks down over their nose, sometimes mouth as well, to engage with either their mobile phone or laptop. Everyone knows that that Covid-19 id spread by droplets from the nose and mouth, especially in an confined environment … so, whu? 

I look around and sometimes wonder...if we can’t keep faith with each other, what hope for our keeping faith with ourselves? Whatever, it is down to us, no one else. 

We may blame fate, our therapist, even God...but when push comes to shove there is no lasting escape from our having to take responsibility for our own choices. Nor are we entirely to blame for making wrong choices. No one (thank goodness) is perfect. Even so, it can't help to get to know ourselves as we are rather than we (or others) might have us be...?

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”
― 
William Shakespeare

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”
― 
Ralph Waldo Emerson 

This poem is a kenning 

M-E, MARGINS FOR ERROR or IN DENIAL

Come, child
where I lead, don't be afraid;
listen to the murmurings
of your heart, exercise the finer
learnings of your mind;
start to care, understand why
I, too, am always here
for you, trying to be fair,
even kind

See, child
where I walk and let's talk
you and I, exchange 
home truths before they fester
and die in the bowels
of a soul bent on proving
its very existence
by resisting temporal
magnificence

Hear, child,
any wise words of your own;
feel free to ignore mine
if you suspect they threaten
your ivory tower
of pretension, no protection
against a world its own
worst enemy for a divided
humanity

Hear me, mind-body-spirit, in pain
for a heart in denial yet again...
 

 Copyright R. N. Taber 2004; 2020

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears under the title 'Know the Voice, Can't Place the Face' in A Feeling for the Quickness of Time by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2005; revised ed. in e-format in preparation.]

 

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Monday, 1 September 2014

Ego in Denial


A loud, talkative if successful businessman attached himself to me during an overnight stay at a hotel years ago, and offered me this advice over countless pints of lager: ‘In business, you have to aim high, be a real go-getter, stay focused on what you want and go for it, no matter what…or who. And shall I tell you what’s so great about life at the top, young man? It’s that you don’t need anyone, but everyone needs you, depends on you, for whatever reason. There's no feeling like it because you don't need anyone, you're top dog.'

Regarding the latter point, I could see he had all but convinced himself it was true. Even so, methinks he did protest just that little too much, and needless to say I was no more impressed with him or his 'advice' than than I would be now, some 30+ years on.

As for sexuality, it has been my experience that gay-friendly straight men are 100% confident in their own sexuality so have no problem with anyone else's while the average homophobe nowhere near shares that same self-confidence, resorting to discriminatory bluster to cover their own backs, so to speak....

Thank goodness for alter ego forever nudging us towards home truths, ego would prefer to ignore.

This poem is a villanelle.

EGO IN DENIAL

Don’t need anyone telling me
the best way to get by.
(Loneliness feeding on me.)

Voices cruelly, mockingly,
demanding, why…?
Don’t need anyone telling me

Choices, always goading me
to expose a white lie.
(Loneliness feeding on me.)


Who's to stop me running free,
though a sandman try?


Don’t need anyone telling me

Scathing home truths would see
I get real, brave up, deny
loneliness feeding on me…

Love, it’s a life-and-death poetry
milking rhyme and reason dry;
(Don’t need anyone telling me;
loneliness, feeding on me...)

Copyright R. N. Taber 2005; 2014

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears under the title 'The Hungry Heart' in A Feeling for the Quickness of Time by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2005.]







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