Another Open Letter to Readers

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

A reader kindly asks how I am coping with my prostate cancer during the pandemic, especially as I live alone and have mobility issues as well. Well, not easily, but mind-body-spirit manages to rise above it all... most of the time.

Diagnosed some 10 years ago now, the prostate cancer was not aggressive and I have been treated with hormone therapy (Zoladex) ever since. Yes, having to get up during the night to urinate, often as many as four or five times, doesn't make for a decent night's sleep and I  get very tired some days. But prostate cancer has a mind of its own so I just have to take each day as it comes. 

Safety precautions due to the pandemic means I don't get to see friends, and I miss their support, but knowing they are rooting for me is always good for morale. My best friend is my 'bubble' partner and I see him as much as possible although he has been working from home and doesn't live locally so I miss face-to-face  get-togethers with him too. Hopefully, once he is is working in London again, we can meet up for lunch like we used to.

Readers often ask why I write mind-body-spirit as one word rather than three in my poems. Well, it is because I don't see how you can separate them in so far as they are interdependent. My mother used to say we should never underestimate the power of the human spirit to nurture a positive mindset capable of seeing us through even the worst circumstances. She was so right. I am also reminded of a quote by Helen Keller:

"No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a  a new doorway for the human spirit." 

I see disabled people and others, a LOT worse off than yours truly coping with far more serious medical in addition to other issues, and words fail me; it can only be down to as strong a human spirit as far as I'm concerned. Those of various religious persuasions may well disagree and prefer to credit an ethereal presence within us, but we will simply have to agree to differ. Disabled people and those with learning difficulties are an inspiration to us all, even more so as so many of us are still  having to deal with levels of isolation during the pandemic such as we never imagined.

Yes, it is scary, having to rise above medical and other personal issues  issues , bur what choice to we have?  Fear is perhaps the greatest and most natural threat of all that we needs must overcome threat of all to overcome. What can I say but quote a Frenchman:

1. “He who fears he will suffer, already suffers because he fears.” - Michel De Montaigne.

Yes, I know it is all very well to lean on famous quotes, but their authors knew what they were talking about, just as yours truly endeavours to practise what I try to encourage rather than preach in many of my poems.

Thanks for dropping by, folks, always much appreciated. Oh, and yes, I am working on a new poem that I hope to publish here on the blog by Monday if not earlier. Meanwhile, I hope those of you already exploring the blog archives will find some poems to enjoy.

Take care and keep well,

Back soon,

Roger

Instinct, Minder-Mentor for Communication Skills

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Today’s poem first appeared on the blog in 2015.

For years, various people  - family, friends, teachers, work colleagues – would accuse me of exaggerating my hearing problem and/ or using it as an excuse for not having heard or quite understood what they are saying, the clear implication being that implying it is more likely down to my inability to concentrate or even bother to listen. I stopped trying to explain about perceptive deafness years ago; few people have either the patience or inclination to listen since they are convinced that know me better than I know myself.

The problem with perceptive deafness - for others as well as those like myself - is that our hearing is affected not only by the pitch of someone’s voice, but also by existing acoustics. I have mentioned this before, but a reader seems to have a similar problem; he or she writes: “I can hear some people quite well in a particular room or environment, but elsewhere I can hardly hear them at all. Everyone thinks I am not paying attention, at home as well as at school, but it isn’t that, honestly.” Indeed, it isn’t, and I urge this reader seek to ask their GP to refer them to an audiologist asap.

At school, I would sit at the back of some classrooms so I would be less likely to be asked questions; consequently, of course, I missed even more of the lesson for barely hearing a word. At home, my father, especially, would angrily accuse me of ignoring him time and again for the same reason. It was not much different at work at first … until the problem was finally identified by professionals; at last, I had not only an explanation, but also special hearing aids (imported from Germany) to vastly alleviate the problem.

For years, though, I honestly thought I was mentally impaired.

I have often reflected on how those inner selves that come together to create human identity are a motley crew, invariably, adapting to a variety of circumstances, performing accordingly for a variety of people in a variety of ways, depending on why we have (either consciously or subconsciously) brought them into play in the first place.

Whatever, possibly the most important lesson any of us will learn as we progress through our lives -  whoever and wherever we may be in the world, whatever our ethnicity, religion, gender or  socio-cultural agenda – is getting  to know our various selves, learn to listen and which to trust; collectively, these are often called instincts which I have heard them referred to - not inappropriately in my view - as our ‘Minders’; I get that, I really do, and always have while others may well take some convincing.

For years, I knew something was wrong with me; my instincts told me to seek help, but no one would listen until a particularly nasty case of earache caused me to see a GP who referred me to an audiology consultant; the rest, as they say, is history.

Mind you, I still need to explain my hearing impairment to some people, especially if they are softly spoken or do not speak clearly. Even as a young child, though, I discovered that I catch more of what someone is saying if he or she is facing me; without knowing it, I was lip reading. That was the easy part. Have you noticed how some people will look anywhere but directly at you when they engage you in conversation? In my case, it always has to be my fault if I misunderstand, especially now I am 70+ as they can always blame old age just as, years ago, they would blame a child’s inattentiveness. <>

There is a pub in London called The Masque Haunt. I once overheard a complete stranger comment as he looked up at the name, ‘Now, that’s life. Oh, yes, that’s life …’

This poem is a kenning.

INSTINCT, MINDER-MENTOR FOR COMMUNICATION SKILLS 

I tell people what to do

and where to go, putting them

in their place

where needs must, advise how

not to lower the eye,

but appear relaxed to all intents

and lesser purposes,

direct the semblance of a smile

to complete the illusion

I fulfil the role of showman,

 treading no boards, just dreams

(nor gently either)

inciting the coward to bold acts

likely to pass for bravery

by the less discerning observer,

appropriately applauded

by an audience with its own ideas

of entertainment…

I hunger for a share of glory,

albeit behind scenes played out

to (near) perfection

by conscience and consciousness

at centre-stage

of everyday deceptions produced 

by circumstances

and directed by those old standbys,

diplomacy and discretion

Minder-Mentor of a human condition

some call self-preservation

Copyright R. N. Taber 2015