Taking the 'y' Out of Gay

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I often receive emails from gay-friendly as well as straight readers who point out that it was my 'choice' to be gay, and as with any choice we make there are invariably  'consequences'.

LGBT folks do not have a choice, except in so far as we either choose to look the world in the eye or remain in the proverbial closet; we are as nature intended, and nature, unlike some human beings, does not discriminate.

The poem below was posted on both blogs in 2014, but I removed it from this one after a nasty, threatening email. I ignore abuse, but threats are another matter entirely, although I have to say that most feedback was very supportive. Three years on, I am repeating it here, not least because a reader has asked me to, but also because latter feedback suggests that my intention to continue posting gay-interest poems on this general blog from time to time, has not only been far more kindly received that  I could have hoped or expected given the response in 2014.(Fingers crossed...)

Incidentally, readers often ask why I write fiction as well as poetry. Well, why not? Regular readers will know that I've suffered regular bouts of depression all my life; writing in any genre is not only an enjoyable pursuit, but also a lifeline by way of creative therapy. Having anyone read what I write is a nice bonus:

http://rogertaberfiction.blogspot.com/

The first novel I serialised on my fiction blog was Dog Roses, a gay-interest story about a young man and his family coming to terms with his being gay; another, Like There’s No Tomorrow is about a woman who returns every year to the hotel in Brighton where her daughter disappeared without trace some 20+ years earlier.

Meanwhile...

Yes, when I was young, I’d frequently ask myself why I was gay… until I realised it did not matter. All that mattered was that I got on with my life and learned to let my sexuality play its part. It’s my life, after all. My lasting regret is that I only came to this conclusion in my 30's following a severe nervous breakdown for which agonising over my sexuality since a teenager must take its fair share of the blame. The penny finally dropped, though, and I saw that my sexuality is no more up for being dictated to than my sense of spirituality although, as regular readers know, I do not subscribe to any religion, preferring to see myself as something of a pantheist. I feel fortunate to have learned in time how to relate to both with a passion I try to convey in many of my poems. In this respect, I owe little or nothing to the so-called 'education for life' I received in the classroom. Sadly, even these days, gay issues are rarely if ever discussed in British schools; indeed, across the world, although here in the UK  new legislation due to come into effect next year will (hopefully) address LGBT issues head-on. in both primary and secondary schools. (Oh, and why not, especially given that children and young people are among the least prejudice people in the world... until or unless persuaded otherwise?

If ever anyone needed support and reassurance regarding their sexuality, it is during our teenage years.

Sexuality is universal. We all have a gene that identifies our sexuality, thereby partly identifying who we are. Nor is sexual identity any less an integral part of the whole person that his or her social, cultural, religious or political identity. It is a mystery to me, therefore, how even the less enlightened among the heterosexual majority really believe there are no young gay boys and girls out there who will develop and grow into their sexuality as responsible adults with no less integrity or capacity for love and compassion than anyone else?

There are homophobes in all echelons of all societies, and of all socio-cultural-religious persuasions; some are out, others prefer to stay in their stuffy closets for fear of being called  'politically incorrect'. I have marginally more respect for the former, although it’s anyone’s guess why these foolish people insist on displaying their ignorance of the human condition for everyone to see. I guess we can but do our best to encourage them to overcome this blindness of the inner eye in respect to LGBT men and women worldwide before more lives and societies are made to suffer for it.

This poem is a villanelle.

TAKING THE ‘Y’ OUT OF GAY

We’d meet after school every day,

go to our secret place

learning to take the ‘y’ out of gay

We took our time, found our way

through love’s maze;

we’d meet after school every day

Two teenagers with plenty to say

about spots on society’s face;

learning to take the ‘y’ out of gay

A brave maturity, come what may

(some say gay is but a phase);

we’d meet after school every day

At each parting, so longing to stay,

but homework setting the pace,

learning to take the ‘y’ out of gay

Years on, we came true to our clay,

where others taking our place;

we’d meet after school every day,

learning to take the ‘y’ out of gay

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

[Note: I am often accused of being 'too personal'; in my poems. Well, I do often write from personal experience, although in my use of the first person singular, I attempt to embrace a third person plural to which anyone is invited to relate if they so choose.]