http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber
Today’s
post-poem first appeared on the blog in 2013.
Seven years
on, we are, all of us, having to cope with a nasty pandemic so are we all
rooting for and looking out for each other, neighbours as well as friends and
family, at the very least keeping in touch? Hopefully, we do what we can; what may not seem much to the casual observer may well mean more than words can say to someone in need.
Gay or
straight, human nature is much the same worldwide. I dare say a good many of
you can count at least one or two fair-weather friends of your own. Maybe they
might even recognise themselves in what I have to say on the subject, although
I doubt it.
Now, my mother
rarely had a bad word to say about anyone and would put herself out for just
about everyone. But I recall how she once referred to one of her closest
friends as a vampire. I was curious. She told me that some people are only
after what they can get out of a friendship; once they have taken their fill
they will waste no time looking elsewhere. So why bother with them, I wanted to
know? My mother shrugged. ‘When people need you, what choice do you have but to
be there for them?’
True enough,
when we moved and it meant making an effort to stay in touch, the friend soon
dumped my mother for someone who was more convenient, and we never saw her
again. I was angry on my mother’s behalf, but she took it in her stride. ‘Yes,
some people can be very hurtful,’ she explained to boy Roger, but they can’t
help it. For them, it comes with being human just as some of us were born to be
hurt.’ She said this without a trace of bitterness although she was clearly
upset.
I, too, have
suffered my share of vampires. Not anymore. There comes a time when you have to
escape their clutches or go on letting them hurt you. They are not horrible
people, just thoughtless and self-centred. Neither are uncommon traits, but
only human albeit aspects of human nature we much prefer to gloss over.
Fortunately,
though, I have also inherited my mother's spirit of endurance, especially while
I have to deal with side effects of treatment for my prostate cancer. For now,
at least, yours truly is putting himself first. Even so, if a good friend has a
problem, its mine too, and I will help as and when I can, not least because
another trait from which I try to take a leaf from my mother's book embraces
yet another of her frequently repeated sayings; we reap what we sow in this
world.
In recent
years, I have experienced various health problems, not easy to deal with when
you live on your own. Fortunately, too, though, I have some good friends who
have rallied round and given much-needed support. The old saying is so true in
so far as we never know who our true friends are until we really need them.
I am reminded
of a much-quoted wry comment by the poet, Robert Frost: "A bank is a place
where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it
begins to rain." Much the same can be said for some 'friends' too
This poem is a
kenning.
PROFILING A
FAIR-WEATHER FRIEND
I pose as an
ally,
yet in time
you will realise
I feed on
the milk of
human kindness
and will drain
it dry
any chance I
get, though it
leave a
trail
of hurt and
pain I’ll never
turn to see
I speak as an
ally,
yet in time
you will realise
all I say
turns on all I
am, and you
count for little
alongside my
needy ego;
even though
I mean no
harm, I will
wear you down
I know all the
excuses
that spring to
mind whenever
challenged to
give
thought where
thought is due,
but I have
little for you,
for where
would that leave me
but
unhappiness,
one straw less
to help
keep me afloat
A fair-weather
friend, indeed, am I;
look for me
not under a stormy sky
Copyright R
N. Taber 2012; 2020
[Note: This
poem has been slightly but significantly revised since first published under
the title 'Being Human' in Tracking the Torchbearer by R. N.
Taber, Assembly Books, 2012.]
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