Friendship, Life Force OR Reciprocity, a Shared (Personal) Space

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Many people seem to take love and friendship - including family relationships - for granted, always expecting the other person to keep in touch. As I grow old, I find I have less patience with this attitude. (I will be 75 this year.) 

I have nothing in common with any surviving members of my family; there is no point in pretending otherwise, and I simply don't go along with the idea that 'family is family', whatever it takes. On the other hand, we actively seek out, select and bond with friends so it can be hurtful when they appear to care less about us than we do about them. (Could we have been reading the wrong signals from the start? Invariably, not...)

I care about my friends and they care about me, but a no significant few always wait for me to phone, email,  or suggest meeting up and/or going somewhere. A friend may be ill, and if there is any reason I cannot visit, I will always try to keep in touch and offer at least moral support if no other. Personal experience has taught me just how much a phone call (especially) or text, email, a card even...just knowing someone is thinking of you and wishing you well can uplift the worst of flagging spirits. Sometimes, though, what two people see as a potential friendship doesn't quite have what it takes, and whether it becomes lopsided (one-sided?) or simply drifts into the mists of time, we have to be philosophical about it.  A meaningful friendship, however, will always last if only because those concerned make time to communicate and iron out any problems or misunderstandings that may well arise along the way. 

Any friendship worth having is always worth trying to save, and if both parties are of the same mind, saved it will invariably be... so long, that is, as someone is prepared to make the first move. Alas, otherwise, all may well go pear-shaped.

Oh, but friends are only human, and we all live busy lives. Even so…a little thought really does go a long way. Could it be that someone is dialling my number right now?  (Oh, what the heck? Reaching for the phone...)

This poem is a kenning.

FRIENDSHIP, LIFE FORCE or RECIPROCITY,  A SHARED (PERSONAL) SPACE

I am the tear that lingers on the eye,

as peers through the mirror of its days,

and cares not for all it sees,

blots out dark clouds and acid rain,

settles joy once again

on a heart gladly given to another

in happier times

freely embracing me for its sharing, 

and (like love) enduring 

I am the tear that lingers on the cheek

having expected to receive dawn’s kisses,

but left smarting instead

from a slap by the cold light of day

in return for deeds played out

with best intentions but resulting

in such livid recriminations

as give rise to altercation that defies

either logic or justification

I am the smile that lingers on the lips

after apologies gladly accepted, if rather

late in the day, but better by far

than stubbornly corroding a mind,

anxious to recover all it has lost

if never appreciated till certain fingers 

reaching for the phone

hesitate to dial my number, and my life

risks going pear-shaped

No less certain than dawn to rise or sunsets dip,

the language of love and friendship

Copyright R. N. Taber 2012, rev. 2020

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears under the title 'No Appetite for Pears' in Tracking the Torchbearer by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2012.]