http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber
A gay-friendly reader writes that "My young brother-in-law is gay, but too ashamed to tell anyone except my wife, his sister. He is 17, a great lad, and we don't know what to do or say. Any ideas?" I can't advise, but hopefully the poems speaks for itself, not least because it is more than a little autobiographical. I have only been openly gay since my late 30's, and am in my 70's now. I grew up at a time when gay relationships were a criminal offence here in the UK, and even after the law was changed in the late 1960's, bigots continued to have a field day for years, many still do. (Yes, even here, in the so-called 'liberal minded' West.)
Confronting home truths is never easy, but it is a crucial first step; self-awareness is not enough. We have to start believing in ourselves or how can we ask anyone else to believe in us? No one chooses to be gay, we are but as nature intended; the chances are we inherit genes related to family members from other generations. Whatever, it is an integral part of a person's identity, nothing to be ashamed of although misleading stereotypes circulating and expanded upon for centuries are as often taken to be true; there is nothing new about fake news. Social media has a lot to answer for too; an open invitation to bigots and bullies especially where sexual identity issues are concerned. As I have asked time and again since I began writing up the blogs ten years ago - what's wrong with agreeing to differ? Various socio-cultural-religious communities don't help with agendas for peace and love which pass for dogma, but are invariably critical of anyone who dares diversify from so-called 'norms'.
In recent years I began to think LGBT communities were winning hearts and minds, and there are more gay-friendly people about than ignorant bigots although, tragically, we gays remain no strangers to hate crime worldwide.
Yes, it can be tough, being gay, but it is a tough world out there and we are (all) up against a human nature as complex as it is fickle.
My suggestion to this young man would be to search the Internet for any LGBT groups that he can easily access, and join one; another is never, but never assume a straight person is the enemy. My gay-friendly reader is by no means alone in taking people as he finds them without judging them, least of all for their sexuality; sexual identity may be an integral part of who we are, but there is far more to all of us than that.
Yes, I know I have said all this before, but as my mother used to say, if something is worth saying, it is always worth repeating.
"HELLO" HERE-AND-NOW
Yesterday,
much
the same, fears,
since
early hours,
dreading
a new dawn
(yet
again)
wishing
the day gone before it puts me
out
for garbage
Yesterday,
all
but wishing myself dead
(but
not quite)
desperate
for reasons
to
carry on,
finding
none to fan even a single flame
of
inspiration
Today
I
can’t make it through;
everything
I
say, everything I do
coming
out wrong
I
just want to run away, hide somewhere;
oh,
But where?
Today
I
feel exposed to passers-by
staring
at me,
even
glaring at me,
as
if suspecting
I
am sick at heart, and all but falling apart
within
and without
Today
a
stranger smiled at me,
said
“Hello”
before
a growing crowd
ate
him up
but
his smile, kept company with me all day,
saved
me from free fall
Tomorrow
I
will look out for any smiles,
ignore
glares,
might
even dare a “Hello”
here
and there,
give
positive feedback the chance it deserves
to
help mend frayed nerves
Tomorrow
I,
too, will test a friendly grin
on
a world
where
hate crime on the rise,
(no
surprises there)
and
seek out others just like me, still growing into
life,
love - and sexuality
Tonight,
I
find myself looking at M-E
on
a rack
not
of my own choosing,
blaming
society,
time
to take responsibility for myself, and get a life,
start
thinking positively
Tonight,
a
Coming of Age for a latecomer
to
self-esteem;
time
to challenge my dreams,
get
real somehow,
hopefully
take a lover (two of a kind) endgame, peace
of
mind
Copyright
R. N. Taber 2020
[Note: This poet/poems also appears on my gay-interest blog today for obvious reasons. Feedback, though, suggests that many closet gay readers - especially those using shared computers - are afraid to access it.]
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