Prisoner of (Another) War OR No one Knows but Me

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

This poem appears in my gay-interest blog archives for Seotember 2013.

I have met several members of the armed forces who are gay, but even though it is legal now in some countries, (including the UK and US) would not dream of revealing the fact to their comrades-in-arms. As one guy told me, ‘I’m a damn good soldier, but if anyone knew I was gay it would count for f**k all. I might as well shoot myself.’ He was killed in action about a year later. Everyone spoke very highly of him and rightly so. I could not help wondering what his bereaved, closet boyfriend (another soldier) made of it all. I wrote the poem for both of them.

One day, hopefully, human beings will stop waging war on themselves; in more ways than one.

This poem is for 'Mick' whose partner was killed on active service. Mick says, 'I so regret we were out to no one, but we had no choice. No one should have to grieve alone.'

Grief is a lonely business for anyone, but I dare say we all know what he meant.

PRISONER OF (ANOTHER) WAR or NO ONE KNOWS BUT ME

You had told no one you are gay

by the time you went to war,

leaving me alone to try and pray

Whether at work, rest or play,

I’d love and miss you more;

you had told no one you are gay

You said we’d come true one day

when you’re ready, not before,

leaving me alone to try and pray

There is so much I longed to say,

our secret, a weeping sore;

you had told no one you are gay

My worst fears came true one day,

and at my whole being tore,

leaving me alone to try and pray

It still hurts when I hear people say

we were good friends (no more);

you had told no one you are gay,

leaving me alone to try and pray

[From: On  the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010.]