While only some of my poems are semi-autobiographical, all are personal to some degree or another while I try to
leave space enough for the reader to move about within them.
Today’s poem is a particularly personal
poem, given my non-aggressive (so far) prostate cancer, it is also an
explanation (of sorts) to those well-meaning, religious minded people who have
expressed genuine disbelief ,if not horror, that it hasn’t compelled me to seek
out the God of Holy Books.
For a
start, I have every confidence in the hospital team responsible for my (hormone
therapy) treatment. Moreover, only as a very
young child did I ever enter into any conception of a personified God. My mother
did, and I believed her until I was old enough to make up my own mind, convinced
at an early age that we make our own Heaven or Hell here on Earth.
As
regular readers know, I turned to nature for spiritual reassurance many years ago.
Nor do I honestly think it had anything to do with feelings of alienation as I
proceeded to confront my sexuality. Possibly, what some call 'God' is nature although I dare say they
would argue that He (or She?) created nature for human beings to
enjoy. (Yes, enjoy, not attack and destroy.)
Who
knows? Each to his or her own, I say. Oh, and isn’t it high time we all started respecting each other’s beliefs, life choices, natural instincts
(like sexuality) and stopped fighting amongst ourselves over who may be right and who may be wrong? Too many people so love to take the moral high ground, they lose sight of morality
in the process. It has to be one of life’s greater ironies that sickness and
disease provide a common humanity with the one common denominator likely to
bring all sides together…if only until it has run its course.
My mother used to tell me that whenever the going gets rough, the only way to think is positive. It was GOOD advice, especially for a young gay lad growing up in a predominantly gay-unfriendly society. (I never make an issue of being gay, but neither do I see any reason to hide the fact, hence a gay-interest as well as general poetry blog because a poem is a poem is a poem just as a person is a person is a person ... regardless.)
RIPOSTE TO THE DARKER SIDE OF NATURE
Gripped by fear,
I could but direct it elsewhere,
yet it keeps returning,
this awful cancer stalking me
like a predator
Away, dark fear,
and let me get on with my life.
Go, feed elsewhere.
I’m only human, but no easy
prey for a predator
Seized by doubt,
I can but trust positive thinking
will yet prevent
this awful cancer turning me
inside out
Away, negativity,
always the first to undermine me
wherever I lend an ear
to voices arguing the wisdom
of my choices
Let me not resist a need
for comfort food and fiercer hugs
than ever before
to restore poor self-confidence,
give love its head
Come, Earth Mother,
and never let go of my free hand
as with the other I’ll sign
to mind-body-spirit and the world
we’re not done
Yes, I will survive
whatever this cancer throws at me,
instincts insisting I embrace
all a feisty spirituality has to give
in its place
Let nature have its way;
together, we will no more concede
any disease its V-Day
than see human beings put down
just for being gay
Copyright R. N. Taber 2011
Labels: cancer, death, fear, human nature, human spirit, inspiration, life forces, love, nature, optimism, pain, personal space, poetry, positive thinking, prostate cancer, relationships, sexuality, support networks
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