Time Out

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Today’s poem last appeared on the blogs in 2009 and I am repeating it today especially for a ‘L. P.’ who has been in touch to ask how best to tell family and friends he is gay. Another young man once asked when I thought might be a good time to tell his parents he had no intention of marrying the young woman his family have chosen for him. I also told them both that, it is their decision and theirs alone, but the longer they wait, the harder it will be. Nor should we blame ourselves for any hurt caused by standing out ground when we feel the need. We are not answerable for the shortcomings and/or short sightedness of others.

Is there ever a right time to tell someone something with which they may feel uncomfortable? Home truths, for example, never go down well at first if at all.

Ah, but we should not underestimate the power of common sense, and even less so the heart’s capacity to argue with questionable reason...and win.

Just as most LGBT people need to make time to tell family and friends about their sexuality, so those among the heterosexual majority who decide to go against parental well-meaning for their well-being and choose another path also need to choose their moment with care. Yes, with care, for diplomacy can only ever help win over the opposition.

In some instances, of course, there will rarely if ever be a ‘right’ time to raise this matter or that. Yet, the more serious the matter and the more intensely it concerns us, the more important it is that we make time to let the people who matter to us know that it’s the way in life we propose to follow, and are confident it is right for us.
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Whether any attempts at diplomacy succeed or not, only time will tell ... and time demands both parties fully respect if not fully understand each other's point of view. Everyone needs to take time out in their lives to reconsider taking sides against others simply because they are 'different'; in other words, they do not conform to our own conventions/expectations. I suspect it is up to younger generations, from all walks of life, to lead the way in proving that our differences do not make us different, only human.

Did I say it was easy?

TIME OUT

Doors half opening, half closing;
windows flung wide, slammed shut;
roads stretching, bending;
children born and growing so fast;
parents coming, going,
working, and trying their hardest
to make out they won’t
even mind dying, but only so long
as the timing’s - what, right?

Earth flung, heaped, piling up;
nature’s buds opening, now closing;
dirt tracks stretching, bending;
world's birds singing while nesting;
parents coming, going,
and working at trying their hardest
to make out they won’t
even mind chicks flying off so long
as the timing’s - what, right?

More flinging, slamming about;
hungry mouths opening, now closing;
bony legs stretching, bending;
a capacity for love born, growing fast;
doubts coming, going,
working at trying their hardest
to fool us they not only
have our very best interests at heart,
but their timing’s - what, right?

Seasons of animal, vegetable, mineral,
leaving no time to make sense of it all

Copyright R. N. Taber 2005; 2011

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears under the title 'A Question of Timing' in A Feeling for the Quickness of Time by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2005.]