It is so true what they say about
discovering who your real friends are when the going gets tough. Since I was
diagnosed with prostate cancer in February 2011, several people I thought were
good friends have rarely if at all even been in touch by phone or email. I am
not upset if a little hurt, but mostly a feel a sense of déjà vu, having been
here before. Even so, I am fortunate enough to have friends who are very supportive and more than
compensate for those that choose to look the other way.
Of
course, other people have their own lives to lead, may well have problems of
their own they have no wish to share or are simply too busy to put friends
first. But real friendship deserves
better, surely? Otherwise, it is an illusion. Sadly, too many people see
friendship as a one-way street; they take what they can get from it, and give
precious little if anything back.
True, we
don’t give to receive, but when we put ourselves out for people, show a genuine
interest in their lives and try to give support whenever they ask for it, don’t
we deserve better than a metaphorical slap in the face?
Few of us
set out to deliberately hurt others. It’s just a sad fact of human nature that
some people are so blinkered to any if not all home truths. It can take many years before we call it a
day with he or she who has played a
significant part in our lives only to let us down time and again. It is never
an easy decision, and one many of us are just as likely to retract should he or
she ever need us again.
This poem
is a kenning.
STOIC
SPIRIT, VULNERABLE HEART
I run the
gauntlet
of love,
life, fun and tears,
trying to
make the best
of things
rather than complain
about the
worst years,
struggling
to rise above
the pain
human beings
inflict
upon each other time
and again
I turn to
nature
for
comfort and brief respite
from a
daily torture
humanity
asks me to endure
with all
the dignity
and
stoicism of someone
always
expected to put
other
people’s needs before
their own
I lie
awake at night
wondering
who or what
is wrong
or right
amongst
all that’s been said
and done
in the course
of
whatever merry chase
mischievous
Apollo
and
outcast Cassiopeia care
to lead
us on
I am that
sense of loss and hurt,
trailing
where friendships abort
Copyright
R. N. Taber 2011
Labels: bonding, failings, fair weather friends, foibles, friends, friendships, human, imbalance, life, love, mind-body-spirit, nature, needs, personal space, poetry, reciprocity, relationships, support
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