http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber
Every
large town and city has its share of bed-sits or single person apartments comprising little more than a room with basic amenities. If you’re lucky, it’s
en suite and you don’t have to share a bathroom / toilet.
I
recently got chatting to a guy in a bar whose house had been repossessed
because he could no longer afford the mortgage repayments. As it happens, he’s
gay but he could have been anyone of any persuasion, man or woman. He lives in
one room without a view and has to share a bathroom. “One you turn sixty,” he
told me, “people stop caring, especially if you’re gay and you’ve lost your
looks.”
He is a
lonely, unhappy man, convinced his age and sexuality means he can’t get a life,
and his living conditions don’t help.
Yes,
well, gay men and women don’t have a monopoly on loneliness, that’s for sure,
and there are many people in this world who don’t even have a roof over their
heads.
It’s sad
and, yes, the 21st century should be ashamed of itself for the degree of
poverty in the world. But there is more to poverty than lack of money and
resources. There is a poverty of the heart and spirit that gives up on life too
soon.
We all
want different things from life and few of us come even close to what we would
like. But we can still enjoy life and make the best instead of the worst of
things. It’s never easy, that’s for sure. But it’s true what they say…where
there’s a will, there’s a way. I have met some of the poorest people who can
honestly claim to be happy in their own way. They may not have much, materially
speaking, but they love life and care about people and just being around them
makes you glad to be alive.
I’m not
poor but I definitely ain’t rich either. I would have liked my own house
overlooking the sea. Instead, I rent a studio flat in London UK. Sure, I have
regrets (who doesn’t?) but life is what we make it and we are what we let life
make of us. Yes, I get lonely sometimes. Yes, I am unhappy sometimes. Who
isn’t? Ah, but I don’t intend to become like the guy in that bar…and yes, I’m (well)
past sixty too.
You have
to be a friend to have friends and
you have to think positive to be happy. It’s not always easy and can be hard
work…but it’s always worth making the effort. Getting a life doesn’t just
happen…we have to make it happen.
BED-SIT
LIFER
Dawn’s
dust has scarcely
settled
at the chin;
an
eccentric clashing
of
streets below
reminds
that it’s time
to go at
it
World’s dirt has scarcely
greased the hair;
a hyper-rhythmic rush
of
leather gear
pants me
here and there
at bald
faces
An April
dusk has scarcely
brushed a teary eye,
birds singing in whispers
like
mourners
gathered at a gravestone
now trickle away
Only answerphone messages,
cat's in
a funny mood,
more repeats on the telly,
forgot a take-away,
the pirate
tape won’t play,
nothing else to say
Hear a knocking at the door,
(not expecting anyone)
maybe a neighbour wanting
to borrow something;
could it be we'd introduce
ourselves at long last?
Licking lips nervously, rising
with anticipation.
heart skips a beat like a lifer's
on visiting days, pausing
at the door, gripping handle,
afraid of...what, me?
What impression will I make
on this stranger
who may well have had a day
like mine, be seeking
some company too, no harm
in trying to make a friend?
Too late. Footsteps, going away;
oh, well, maybe another day ...
Copyright R. N. Taber, 2000, 2018
[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears in Love and Human Remains by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2000.]
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