A Poet's Blog: Roger N.Taber shares his thoughts & poems...

Thoughts and observations by English poet Roger N. Taber, a retired librarian and poet-novelist.- "Ethnicity, Religion, Gender, Sexuality ... these are but parts of a whole. It is the whole that counts." RNT [NB While I have no wish to create a social network, I will always reply to critical emails about my poetry. Contact: rogertab@aol.com].

Name:
Location: London, United Kingdom

Sadly, a bad fall in 2012 has left me with a mobility problem, and being diagnosed with prostate cancer the same year hasn't helped, but I get out and about with my trusty walking stick as much as I can, take each day as it comes and try to keep looking on the bright(er) side of life. Many of my poems reflect the need to nurture a positive-thinking mindset whatever life throws at us.

Tuesday 6 December 2011

An Elementary Take On Expressionism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Whenever I skip a day or two of writing up the blog, readers send emails telling me they miss me. Well, many thanks for that, and okay, you win. I’ll do my best, but cannot promise a post every day. I will continue to post new poems as and when I can.

Relatively few readers dip into both general and gay-interest blogs, but no surprises there since there is still a social divide in many parts of the world, even in the West, between heterosexual and gay people. By including both general and gay-interest poems in my collections, those readers who feel obliged to be discreet, for whatever reason, are free to be seen reading them without anyone knowing whether it is for the general or gay material or both.

Now, I appreciate that many of you do not have the time to browse the blog archives for poems, especially those of you who are unable to access a computer at home. I am delighted with and very grateful for your continuing encouragement and support. I can but hope some of this might express itself in book sales, especially regarding my new collection - Tracking The Torchbearer - in the spring. In the past, I have always sold enough copies to cover printing costs and contribute to new print runs/publications. However, I have grave doubts about even recovering costs for Torchbearer given the tough financial climate in which we are living.

A poetry publisher once implied they might be interested if I left out my gay-interest poems. Oh, but no way! [There is a literary if not moral principle involved here.] Readers will always be able to access the blogs, of course, although a good few get in touch to tell me how they enjoy accessing the various sections of my poetry collections on the bus or train, while grabbing a few minutes of peace and quiet in a favourite arm chair or even in bed.

We shall see what we shall see. I will be letting everyone know when I can start taking orders for signed copies nearer the publication of Tracking The Torchbearer.

Meanwhile...

Now, some gay friends don’t like the world ‘homosexual’ whereas I have no problem with it. Others are at perfectly ease with ’Queer’ whereas I never will be comfortable with it due to its association, for me personally, with verbal and physical abuse towards gay people years ago.

Straight friends have been known to suggest I am over-sensitive regarding various terms for gay men and women, but I guess it depends on the way in which they are expressed; even 'Queer' is acceptable to me if said with a cheeky grin and a wink. Humour may well touch a nerve, but if we can't laugh at ourselves, we might as well be dead. Even so, what a friend can usually get away with is often inappropriate coming from someone else.

It is all very well for people to say we must move with the times, and I am all for it, but some emotional and psychological as well as physical scars from times past are slow to fade; some never do. We all have an internal reality which can sometimes be as intensely painful  as it can be intensely beautiful; a dual intensity often found in human relationships and reflected in the arts.

Arguably, the ‘legitimacy’ of a word, phrase or sentence depends on the spirit in which it is delivered, not its place in some reputable dictionary and subsequent ‘definition’.

AN ELEMENTARY TAKE ON EXPRESSIONISM

Gay, homosexual, queer;
these are words we are likely
to hear anywhere
because that’s where you’ll find us
(anywhere)
though I (personally) have to say
I prefer to have it said
of me I’m ‘gay’ because it’s how
I see my sexual identity

‘Homosexual’ makes me feel
like a test tube specimen on some
research laboratory table
exploration into an explanation
for cause, even cure
where genetics (and nature)
are only too happy
to explain away the vocabulary
of sexual identity

‘Queer’ conjures bleak memories;
dark closet days and society’s misuse
of the word,
a closed-minded world of abuse
towards those of us
seeking (and finding) love
among our own sex
where small minds unfit for purpose
anxious to vilify us

Times change, its words passing
from meaning to meaning like bees
to flowers, children
to adulthood, attitudes maturing
(I’d like to say)
a peace and love enduring,
abuses of language
(people too) discovering the poetry
of sexual identity

Let the poetry natural to all of us
have its way, no matter what its critics
may have to say
about our use of rhyme, none at all
or socio-cultural expectancy...
Each poem and person to their time
and a spirit of creativity
that is no more a ‘sin’ or ‘crime’
than sexual identity

Copyright R. N. Taber 2011

[Note: This poem appears in Tracking the Torchbearer, by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2012.]

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Sunday 4 December 2011

Footprints In The Snow

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

‘Karin and Tomas’ have asked me to repeat 'my video links'. They do not say which one/s so here is the link to my You Tube channel and the link to my (very informal) poetry reading on the 4th plinth in Trafalgar Square as my contribution to Antony Gormley's One and Other 'live sculpture' project  in 2009. [The You Tube clips are only a few minutes, but the One and Other video lasts an hour.] I hope you will enjoy them, and will be able to watch in an Internet cafe since you appear not to have a home computer

http://www.youtube.com/rogerNtaber

http://www.webarchive.org.uk/wayback/archive/20100223121732/oneandother.co.uk/participants/Roger_T 
[NB: Sept 19, 2019 - The British Library confirmed today that he video is no longer available as it was incompatible with a new IT system, However, it still exists and BL hope to reinstate it and make it available to the public again at some future date.] RNT

Meanwhile...

Many gay-friendly heterosexuals I know seem to think I am exaggerating when I tell them that gay men and women worldwide still feel threatened; even here in the West. Perhaps they should take more of an interest in their fellow human beings. Mind you, that isn’t easy when the media all but ignore gay issues except when occasions like World AIDS Day demand they pay some token attention.

I recently received an email from the U.S. based All Out organisation regarding recent anti-gay activities in Russia and Nigeria, but there will be gay people from all countries and of all religious persuasions that will have little to celebrate this Christmas or during any of the world’s religious festivals.

Last week, pressure on the Russian government prevented a vote on its anti-gay bill from taking place. All Out members around the world amplified the voice of Russian activists, forcing world leaders to speak out against this law that justifies hate and discrimination. Russia’s gay men and women remain hopeful, but the fight is far from over; the bill may still come back.

Unfortunately there's no time to celebrate. The Nigerian Senate has just followed Russia's bad example, passing a bill this week which would make it illegal to publicly support LGBT rights. Simply showing up to a gay bar could land you in jail for 14 years, regardless of your sexuality.

www.allout.org/nigeria

Nigeria is already an incredibly dangerous place for LGBT people, and this latest piece of legislation will only further push the Nigerian LGBT community deep underground.

Here’s a BIG HUG from me for gay people world-wide unable to openly stand up for their sexuality for whatever reason.

Now, Christmas is looming fast. As regular readers will know only too well, I do not subscribe to any religion, but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect anyone, anywhere, whose religion plays a very important part in their lives. Besides, all religious festivals are times when people, especially families and friends, come together in peace and love. Well, that is how it is supposed to be although it has been my personal experience that peace and love are sometimes in short supply; celebration is by its very nature infectious, and there's nothing wrong with that so long as people remember to live by whatever it is they are celebrating long after the festivities are done and dusted.

And what of those who spend Christmas alone? Well, I personally can honestly say I have spent many a wonderful Christmas alone; yet, never really alone because I am surrounded by the ghosts of Christmases and other ‘together’ times past who never fail to invite me to spend a happy, peaceful if reflective time with them. Moreover, I consider myself a son of Earth Mother, and she is never far away.

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SNOW

I woke one morning to find
snow in the ground;
where my garden used to be,
a vast, white sea,
waves whipped up by the wind
like a frozen Tsunami threatening an island
of woebegone leaves

Footprints across this icy sea
beckoned me;
soon I was following them out
of the garden gate,
where once chirpy fields were,
to winter’s unfeeling whims now laid bare,
trees, like icebergs

The footprints halted suddenly
where daises used to be
you’d made into a chain for me,
each flower a memory,
and we’d promised that spring day
our love would last forever, always find a way
to bring us together

Distant bells ringing joyously,
a snowman smiling at me,
fair Apollo’s coming out to smile
on lovers going that last mile
for one another even in bleakest winter,
all confirming the daisies are with Earth Mother
for safekeeping

Copyright R. N. Taber 2011

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Tuesday 29 November 2011

Reaching for Raison d’être

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Christmas come but once a year, and I say thank goodness for that. No killjoy, me, but whenever its followers celebrate this religion or that, we have a sense of one Faith providing answers to our raison d’être over another. This, in turn, finds some people angry, others fearful, and others even further than ever along private paths littered with doubts and misgivings. The results, for even the most impassioned Believer can be a terrible sense of loneliness that even prayer cannot always assuage.

Many, if not most people like me, who no longer subscribe to any religion but put their faith in nature, are only touched by religious differences in so far as we would like to see more people of all persuasions - religious, political, sexual, whatever - better able to enter into other points of view than divided by them, more integrated if not unified. Even so, we are no more immune to feelings of doubt, fear and loneliness than anyone else. And (as in my case) being gay has nothing to do with it although it is very hurtful that the more zealous members of some religions seem bent on whipping up an all but hysterical hostility against gay people.

Whatever our colour, creed, sex or sexuality we can but find our own way through the maze of human emotions that, if we are honest, are more likely than not to undermine any spiritual convictions if only now and then.

A teacher once told my class - way back in the 1950's - that whatever else we did not learn in life, we should learn to care. I took little notice at the time, but his words have returned to haunt me time and time again, especially when I feel at my lowest ebb. Moreover, we are a common humanity, warts 'n' all, and I put it to you that it is also a lesson that various contemporary societies around the world would do well to learn, and learn before it is too late to matter.

REACHING FOR RAISON D’ETRE

Bells ringing, but not for me
so why should I care?
Snowmen smiling, but not at me
so why should I care?
Kids playing, but not with me
so why should I care?

People laughing, but not at me
so why should I care?
Robins singing, but not for me
so why should I care?
Some folks praying, but not for me
so why should I care?

Future generations relying on me
because I care;
nature’s vulnerability nagging at me
because I care;
religious differences preying on me
because I care

A feeling for peace and love in me
because I care;
an eye on the politics of change in me
because I care;
poetry of the human spirit, my reward
because I care

Copyright R. N. Taber 2011

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Tuesday 22 November 2011

A Short Essay On Children's Play OR Peter Pan Revisited

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I am no die-hard capitalist by any stretch of the imagination, but the idea that a capitalist is related to the Bogey Man under a child’s bed is absurd. Raising that child and trying to give him or her best chances in life is a costly business. Capitalism plays no small part in making those chances available.

A former colleague commented only recently on a mutual friend who is doing well in the world of big business that it was an obvious career choice for him because, ‘Like all fat cats, he thinks with his wallet and has no imagination.’ Yes, well, there are exceptions to every sweeping statement, and in this case I happen to know better...

Children's play is SO important to personal development in our formative years; apart from the mental as well as physical value of exercise, it encourages us to form relationships, engage in teamwork, appreciate if not understand human nature better, make certain allowances wherever they  need to be made, agreeing to differ without falling out and discovering the art of reconciliation whenever we do...

Sadly, some if not many of us do not always carry lessons learned as children and young people into adult life.

A SHORT ESSAY ON CHILDREN'S PLAY or PETER PAN REVISITED

I chanced to glance from a window
at children playing in the street below;
their colourful antics took me back
to halcyon times of myth and magic;
I couldn’t resist opening the window,
setting sail on waves of wicked laughter
to a bay where cliffs of ivy trellis towered
above a stormy sea of long grass

The garden shed, a mighty galleon,
we handkerchief pirates bearing down,
makeshift swords ready and able,
all hands to the oars of a cast-off table;
we’d meant to take no prisoners,
but time and tide got the better of us;
heaven closed in, fired a broadside, hinting
at our mothers to call us back inside

From the window, I saw someone
rush at the children, moving them on;
‘Away! Let’s have some peace!’
(Leviathan jaws indulging on innocence.)
I slammed the window shut, angry
at being dragged thus from my reverie,
mindful that imagination’s pull has no place
among crew around a boardroom table

I had a fight on my hands that day,
to see my motion passed come what may,
sailed too close to the wind in the eyes
of those least inclined to be adventurous,
but, oh, I got the better of them all
(in spite of a broadside too close to call)
steered my prize safely to harbour, discreetly
wiping my brow with a pirate’s bandana

Copyright R. N. Taber 2011

[Note: This poem first appeared in A Way of Life, Poetry Now, 2001 and subsequently in Poetry Rivals 2012: Captured Moments, Forward Press, 2012]

 

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Sunday 20 November 2011

Ship-in-a-Bottle OR Anger Management

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Some readers might enjoy my latest YouTube video during which I read today's poem as a voice-over:

http://www.youtube.com/rogerNtaber (Ship In A Bottle)

I am a fire sign, born on the winter solstice. I have a temper when roused...

MOTHER: You must learn to control that temper of yours, son.

BOY ROGER: How?

MOTHER: Use your imagination.

So I did...and still do.

SHIP IN A BOTTLE or ANGER MANAGEMENT

I've seen a Ship in a Bottle
tossed into the sea
among waves like a range
of snowy mountains;
it was I who sent the ship
to ride out a storm
among clouds like billows
of smoke

I leapt into the frantic sea,
swam for my life,
caught up with the bottle,
boarded the ship;
no raging sea or angry sky
could touch us,
my ship and I, in our bubble
made of glass

Deaf to the wind, blinded
by the dark,
conscious only of rancid air
suffocating me...
in desperation, I lashed out
at the bubble,
smashed the glass, let the sea
have its way

Suddenly, I'm floating upon
leaves of grass
smelling of spring rain across
a range of green hills;
storm passes, sea calms down,
deposits me...
at a so-familiar shoreline
peopled with pebbles

What choice but to negotiate
broken glass,
make peace with the pebbles,
aspire to sanctuary?
Now, should dark fury grip me,
I go to a table, let ...

a Ship in a Bottle ride its back,
break me in

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010




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Thursday 10 November 2011

A Space Odyssey

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

 An earlier version of the poem was written in 2002; it appeared in a Poetry Now [Forward Press] anthology 'These Days' in 2004 and in my collection later the same year. I have since revised and reworked the original poem and changed the title.

Regular readers will know that as I prepare posts for the blog, I often find myself making minor or (as in this case) major revisions to poems where earlier versions have already been published. This is not so much a criticism of the first version as, looked at again from a distance of some years, I sometimes feel the original can be improved upon. Some people get in touch to say they prefer the original/s while others may prefer my revision/s but like both; others still, ask why I tinker with poems at all and/or why I settled for the original when it was ‘quite obviously’ the genesis for a different poem altogether. Ah, but it would not have been in the least bit obvious to me at the time I wrote it. I must have been satisfied enough to see it published. Only much later, do I sometimes find myself unhappy with what, yes, I may now see as the genesis of another poem.

As I have said many times, love takes many shapes and forms; of all these, the love of one person for another, sexual and/or platonic makes the greater contribution in mapping out the most wonderful journeys we take across time and space albeit always vulnerable to human error. As for sexuality, it but is one of love’s coordinates along with mutual understanding; it also needs to be up to the task of repudiating if not discarding any socio-cultural-religious elements that would not only point us in another direction but also see us heartsick voyagers in a nightmare.

Needless to say map reading of this particular nature is (or should be) instinctive. At the same time, we need to appreciate that one person’s natural instincts may well be another’s nemesis; if the old adage - where there’s a will, there’s a way - may not always prove to be the case, there is still a lot to be said for at least trying to push existing parameters to accommodate both.

A SPACE ODYSSEY

In the saddest twilight
known to man or woman,
find no gladder omen
than in the sigh of a wistful virgin,
left to watch birds fly
(far too high to identify)
sailing the fairest horizon,
teasing the inner eye

Oh, the beauty, mystery,
privileges and passion of voyagers
in personal space

Glimpses of Heaven,
but no word of invitation
or greater loneliness
(nor sweeter) known to humankind;
a hidden planet
where no others may go
and only those we choose
chance getting close

Identifying isolation
among starry splinters of its galaxy,
light years away

So near, yet so far,
grim mortality yet to loose
its stranglehold on us,
allowing us to breathe that more easily
among lush vegetation
of the surreal kind
than where a half dead
imagination applies

Ultimate contradiction,
conjoined isolates hell bent on pushing
parameters of space

Copyright R. N. Taber 2004; 2011

[Note The genesis of this poem (originally under the title, Time To Ourselves) can be found in 1st eds. of The Third Eye by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2004]

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Tuesday 8 November 2011

Where A Monster Feeds

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update (March 29 2017) Today, Theresa May triggers article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty to take the UK out of the EU. Now, I love Scotland. Why, I keep asking myself, does the SNP think it is better for Scotland to remain under the EU yoke when it would be better off having greater powers devolved to the Scottish Parliament from Westminster (as Theresa May has already implied may well happen)? As for trade, Scotland gets more revenue from trading with the UK than with the EU. Scots (who live in Scotland) whom I have spoken to don't want to see the UK break up so I can only hope that Nicola Sturgeon's obsession with  Independence continues to be seen as NOT in Scotland's best interests by the majority of  those who will be left to carry the proverbial can.]

[Update (June 24 2016): In 1975, I voted in favour of an economic union with the rest of Europe (EEC) not the political (not to mention extortionist) shambles it has become. So, yes, I am delighted that Britain has now voted to leave the EU. There are likely to be both economic and political storms ahead, and we must weather those. Hopefully, though, we will see a rainbow in the longer term, followed by more sunshine than showers. Whatever, the Remain and Brexit camps need to put their differences aside, not bear grudges, and work together; not only for the good of the country, but also of Europe as a whole. Let's not forget that Britain is a part of Europe, always has been and always will be.]

[Update (May 2016): Some readers have been in touch to ask how I feel about the forthcoming UK referendum about staying or leaving the EU. While the poem on this page makes my feelings clear at the time, these are much the same. As far as trade is concerned, EU countries need ours just as much as we need theirs. Regarding security, it is NATO keeps us safe, not the EU. Indeed EU insistence on freedom of movement puts everyone’s security at risk; it is clear the lack of border controls encourage terrorists to infiltrate genuine refugees. However, it is the fact that Turkey is likely to join the EU at some future date that is the deciding factor for me.

In February 2016, two Turkish men aged 22 and 23 who stole an ice cream and a bag of salted sunflower seeds from a classmate when they were 14 and 15 year-old schoolboys were  jailed for 13 years each after a trial lasting eight years. The incredible sentence, for robbery, was passed down by the court even though the victim had never even complained about the matter to police; it was only raised by teachers at the school in Istanbul who were hoping to scare the two boys.

I have no problem with Islam (except the homophobic attitude of many who subscribe to it although that applies to many if not most world religions) but like the rest of the civilised world, I have a problem with radical Islam. The Turkey of today is fast becoming a radical Islamic state; if and when it is admitted to the EU, I fear for the increasing spread of radical Islam Europe-wide.]

Update (June 2016): A good case for BR-EXIT can also be found on You Tube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTMxfAkxfQ0

Now, the banks may be mostly to blame for the credit crunch that first opened its jaws in 2008, but the real monster in the eyes of many Europeans (including myself) is the European Parliament.

The eyes of the world may well be on Greece and Italy at this moment in time, but they do not stand alone where the Economics of Power and Politics of Blame are (frequently) seen to rear their ugly heads....

Dare I suggest there is a need to tame the monster to save the Euro? In other words, there needs to be a cull of its more corrupt and/or inept elements...

This poem is a villanelle.

WHERE A MONSTER FEEDS

Eurozone, in Debt’s dark lair,
struggling to reassure the world;
Europeans, fighting despair

Crisis an ascending stair,
stability, a high risk password;
Eurozone, in Debt’s dark lair

Political in-fighting clear,
Brussels, a theatre of the absurd;
Europeans, fighting despair

Its ineptitude stripped bare,
too few voices of reason heard;
Eurozone, in Debt’s dark lair

Flushed out of devious cover,
MEPs, for jobs running scared;
Europeans, fighting despair

Even the Economics of Power
found wanting on Paradise Road;
Eurozone, in Debt’s dark lair.
Europeans, fighting despair

Copyright R. N. Taber 2011

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