A Poet's Blog: Roger N.Taber shares his thoughts & poems...

Thoughts and observations by English poet Roger N. Taber, a retired librarian and poet-novelist.- "Ethnicity, Religion, Gender, Sexuality ... these are but parts of a whole. It is the whole that counts." RNT [NB While I have no wish to create a social network, I will always reply to critical emails about my poetry. Contact: rogertab@aol.com].

Name:
Location: London, United Kingdom

Sadly, a bad fall in 2012 has left me with a mobility problem, and being diagnosed with prostate cancer the same year hasn't helped, but I get out and about with my trusty walking stick as much as I can, take each day as it comes and try to keep looking on the bright(er) side of life. Many of my poems reflect the need to nurture a positive-thinking mindset whatever life throws at us.

Sunday 5 July 2020

War and Remembrance OR Courage Wears Many Faces

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber


Today's poem first appeared on the blog in 2016.

The Covid-19 coronavirus has plunged much of the world into another war, this time with an invisible enemy, probably the worst and hardest kind of war to fight. Fight, though, we have, as a common humanity united in its resolve to see this awful pandemic through and emerge the stronger, and hopefully the more united for it.

Courage, indeed, has many faces and has shown them all in recent months;in  the selflessness of health workers, the stoicism of victims, the tragedy of losing loved ones where often even close family were unable to be at theirs side as they passed away ... and so it goes on. The war is far from over and far from won, but the human spirit is not easily put down, and will continue to see us through until the world, hopefully, resumes a stronger sense of normality, No, nothing will ever be quite the same again, but the same spirit that wins wars will see us win this one too, of that, at least yours truly is certain.

Many men and women rarely settle down easily - if at all - into everyday life for being haunted by scenes of death and carnage they have witnessed on tours of duty around a world where civil wars and terrorist atrocities persist. Family and friends from all socio-cultural-religious backgrounds and nations need to support them as and when we can. The same principle applies to our war with Covid-19. As a common humanity, we need to support each other wherever and whenever possible; at the very least, avoid  exacerbating divisions.

In the summer of Summer, 2016 we commemorated the start of the Battle of the Somme 100 years earlier, remembering the human the face of Freedom; various cultural-religious-political face masks should not be mistaken for the real thing. Covid-19 has tested and continues to test the latter, along with the rest of us, and the various face masks we, too, are inclined to wear.

Thankfully, at least some lessons have been learned since the First World War about the effects of stress even on trained, experienced service personnel in a war zone. Covid-19 has placed us all in a war zone, untrained and inexperienced alongside those best equipped to help us, and to whom we owe an immeasurable vote of thanks.

Around the world, the battle against coronavirus continues. Around the world, too, courage continues
 to show its many faces, ensuring that we may lose a few battles along the way, but we can and will win the war.

 WAR AND REMEMBRANCE, ALL INCLUSIVE

Jim was just seventeen
when war broke out;
he was courting a girl
called Jane…
They held hands at the fair,
dreaming and planning 
for the future, celebrating
their lives together

Jim was just eighteen
when he joined up,
all his mates did too,
everyone admiring
the uniform, waving him off
with bursts of cheers
while Jim’s ma and Jane
saved their tears

Jim was just nineteen
as war took its toll,
savaged the soul, senses
caving in till no place
left to run like a fox in a hole,
hounds hunting it down,
waiting for the end, shivering
for sheer terror

And who’d know any better
than soldiers of the crown,
the human spirit once broken
no use to anyone?
All was haste, no time to waste,
the pack denied its reward,
Jim (refused a blindfold) shot
at dawn for a coward


Copyright R. N. Taber 2002, 2016, 2020

[Note: Revised (2012) from an earlier version that appears under the title ‘Unsung Hero, in First Person Plural by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2002 and subsequently in Poppy Fields 2007, Poetry Now [Forward Press] 2006. 



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Wednesday 2 November 2016

Epilogue


[Update: Oct 6, 2017]: The 2nd Invictus Games, created by Prince Harry, and the only international multi-sporting event for wounded, injured and sick service men and women, have been a great success, not only - and most importantly - in helping the participants to rise above any disability and all the emotional baggage that goes with it, but also in helping able-bodied audiences around the world to appreciate their efforts; disabled people are far too often stereotyped, even all but written off because the less enlightened see only the disability, not the person. More yet needs to be done for war veterans worldwide to encourage those who feel undermined and undervalued by virtue of this or other disability to give them a shared purpose in life, restore self-esteem, let them feel appreciated for who they are and for their self-sacrifice on our behalf without any sense of being patronised. Three Cheers for Prince Harry for having the sensibility and insight to found the event; his mother would have been very proud of him for it.]

November 11, Armistice Day, will see the commemoration of an armistice signed between the Allies and Germany at Compiègne, an agreement that ended the fighting on the Western Fron that went into effect at 11 a.m. Paris time on 11 November 1918. While it marked a victory for the Allies and a complete defeat for Germany, it was not a formal surrender; although the armistice ended all actual fighting, it took six months of negotiations at the Paris Peace Conference to conclude a peace treaty, the Treaty of Versailles.

Today’s poem first appeared under the title, Epilogue in the on-line poetry journal, Ydrasil (2009) and Poetry Monthly International (2010)before I changed the title yet again for my collection. (It sometimes takes a good while for me to feel 'right' about a title.) I wrote it soon after a former soldier I’d met in a bar had been telling me about a friend and former comrade who was in prison. The friend has been found guilty of attacking an ‘innocent’ party who had been goading him about looking better in uniform than in a suit. Apparently, he was on probation at the time. My companion commented, ‘It’s hard. You go to a war zone a whole person but each time you come back it’s like something more of that person is missing. Part of you dies out there or goes AWOL at the very least. I guess how much so is different for everyone…’

Many ex-service personnel (anyone, anywhere) need help to adjust to everyday life once they are home again either on leave or after being discharged. While it is important to help the injured and support the bereaved, there are also men and women who carry no visible signs of having been to war, but are just as much in need of our support and understanding as well as (in some cases) professional counselling. 

The man in the bar told me something else. ‘You have to be tough to fight, really tough. Show any weakness, and if the enemy doesn’t get you, your own side will. Back home, it can often feel like there’s a total stranger living in your skin and the chances are you don’t like that person at all. It's like the old self is all but dead. Sometimes the best part of that old self will make its way back, sometimes not. I dare say it’s the same for both sides in any war…’ He paused before adding tearfully, "It's hard on family and friends. They see a soldier hero, and have no idea..."

All disabled people, and I include forms of mental illness and any struggling to get the better of the likes of post traumatic stress disorders - regardless of race, creed, gender or sexuality - are an inspiration,  heroes of battles they face daily, winning some, losing some, but determined to get the better of both disability and the misleading stereotypes it so often attracts.

This poem is a villanelle.

EPILOGUE

I so look up to you with love and pride
for the finer human traits you nurture
in each, a candle lit for those who died

The first time you went to war, I cried,
while you but longed for adventure;
you fill me with such love, and pride

In Iraq, your worst fears chose to hide
in caches of ‘true grit’ human nature;
in each, a candle lit for those who died

In Afghanistan, you fought side by side
with the bravest, a born again warrior;
I so look up to you with love and pride

You saw friends killed or injured, tried
seeing Hell as but forms of cruel satire,
in each, a candle lit for those who died

You seemed to take it all in your stride,
 heaving the fallen over your shoulder;
 I so look up to you with love and pride,
 in each, a candle lit for those who died

Copyright R. N. Taber 2012; 2016

[Note: This poem appears under the title 'Missing, Believed Killed' in  print editions of Tracking the Torchbearer by R. N. Taber, Assembly Book, 2012.]

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Tuesday 15 January 2013

Nightmare on Civvy Street

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I was against the war in Iraq and have never been any too happy with the presence of our troops in Afghanistan. However, both are down to our politicians. Our servicemen and women are doing a fantastic job and deserve nothing less than our 100% support. (M.O.D. please note).

While I fully support anti-war demonstrations, I have nothing but respect and admiration for those front-line men and women who risk their lives daily in the name of peace. Many pay the ultimate price. Others do not receive the 100% support to which they are (surely?) entitled. The dead invariably make headline news, but what about the injured?

There are, of course, two sides to every war. Both genuinely believe they are in the right. We should not be too quick to condemn an enemy comprising many ordinary men and women who, too, risk their lives in a common cause...however much other may deplore that cause.

Whatever, politics fights a dirty war with precious little thought (if any) for those in the front line other than its own [The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is a prime example.]

There are various charities available to help serving and ex-serving armed services personnel. The w
former wife of one told me that her husband was ashamed to ask for help, but the stress on their marriage contributory factor in their divorce.

No one but no one should ever feel ashamed to ask for help as and when they need it; it takes courage, but that first step is, in fact, a giant leap for common sense, not to mention a slap in the face for local gossips who know f**k all.

NIGHTMARE ON CIVVY STREET

A soldier, an arm and leg in traction
(truck blown up by a mine)
reassuring us he feels fine, just fine…
while half-listening to pulp fiction;
no regrets, he says, well worth
any price he’d known he might pay
for the thrills and kills every soldier
sees but as Hobson’s choice

As the audio story starts to spread
dark mischief in his one good ear,
he leans forward as if trying to peer
into shadow lands of the dead;
war’s is mother’s milk, he explains,
to those with subtle convictions
like its paymasters and those politicians
floating victory on the wind

The audio voice ducking and diving
the whistle of a sniper’s bullet,
the blind young soldier ducks a hit;
beads of sweat, waking nightmare
without end, need help but ashamed
to ask, need to brave it out in case
anyone guesses there's a human being
behind the hero's smiley mask

Honourable discharge, fighting off tears
for all the world's nightmares

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

[Note: This poem first appeared under the title 'Sweating it Out' in On the Battlefields of Love by R N Taber, Assembly Books, 2010; rev. ed. in e-format in preparation.]]

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Monday 17 December 2012

Winter On Civvy Street

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Regular readers will know that I am a shameless Doris Day fan. The National Film Theatre on London’s South Bank is showing some of her movies throughout December and I have managed to catch a couple: Young Man with a Horn, based on the life of legendary Jazz trumpeter Bix Beiderbeck and my favourite Doris Day film, Love Me Or Leave Me. Oh, but it has been a real pre-Christmas treat!

Meanwhile…

Today’s poem is dedicated to less fortunate people everywhere, especially emotionally damaged ex-service personnel like the subject of the poem with whom I chatted one wintry night in London  several years ago. I bought him a hot meal and a few teas at a nearby café, as he relayed a stumbling, tumbling tale of family life blown apart all but as effectively as a roadside bomb had killed his best friend while serving in Afghanistan. I toyed with the idea of inviting him to share Christmas with me, but when I returned from the café’s toilet, he had gone. I looked, but there was no sign of him amongst a flurry of snow outside.

I tried several times to write a poem about that evening, but have only just completed one of which I like to think he would approve. He would not tell me his name, but I guess he could have been any one of many people returning from fighting this war or that anywhere in the world, unable to return to anything like the way things once were.

Was he gay, people ask? Oh, and what has sexuality to do with it?  True, gay men and women fight in wars, too. (Take the Great War poet, Wilfred Owen to name but one…) As it happens, though, I didn’t ask…and why should I?

One of life’s greater ironies is that peace can be just another war…something perhaps to bear in mind during Christmas or any religious festival calling for peace in our time?

WINTER ON CIVVY STREET

Icicles, dangling from a roof
like frozen tears in a homeless soldier’s beard
house cringing from all it has seen
and heard during years it has stood on the street,
watching war wives and widows struggling
to make frayed ends meet, keep up appearances 
for wishful thinking

Icicles, starting to melt, old house
unashamedly crying for the homeless soldier
walking its street in mid-winter, no place
to call home since returning from the Front Line,
haunted by dead friends, missing comrades,
walking wounded…all terrorising a mind’s eye
with wishful thinking

Icicles, smearing honest brickwork
with what has to be the saddest graffiti nature
ever left (if briefly) on the face of a house,
whose cosy curtains come alive with firelight
and companionable shadows, testament
to a kinder Spirit of Christmas and its poetry
of wishful thinking

Icicles, gone without leaving a trace
like the homeless soldier, long since moved on
to some other blurred, nameless place
that’s, oh, so scarily similar to that Front Line,
tossing images of love, hope, and peace
into the next coffin alongside a growing rage
with wishful thinking

Copyright R. N. Taber 2013

[Note: First published in CC&D v 242, Scars Publications (U.S.) March 2013 and subsequently in The World at War, Forward Press, the same year.]




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